Elderly mum buying house with new man! Wtf!

Indeed... private detective?

It's really not unusual for women to be 'expected' yo do all the housework for someone born in the 40's.
Maybe it's a working class thing?

@Greedybilly I think women in general were expected to organize everything related to the house, even if they had help. My Mum was a teacher and my Dad expected her to do everything.

The thing is how do you really know he is well off ?

This happened to a friends mother. Her mother’s wealthy new husband turned out to be virtually bankrupt and turned nasty when it all came out. They divorced but the unfortunate thing was that my friends mother lost her share of her late husbands work pension because she had remarried and was left worse off.

At least Grandma Nelly pulled out of the marriage at the last minute.
(Did think her having a full blown wedding dress was hilarious)

What utter nonsense are you trying to talk about here?

I think this is such an important and overlooked perspective.

She is being silly based on the view of the child? How many threads have we read on here about children not wanting their parent to bein a new relationship, and the parent being told to just get on with it.

It depends. We are now a family of adults and I’d find it a bit weird if everyone did their own. Generally if someone needs something and is putting a wash on, they’ll collect the washing baskets or ask if anyone has anything else to go on.

some women of my mum’s generation(80+) were conditioned young that their role in life was to look after men. Mil never worked, but spent her life running round after her husband, and her adult grandsons. I think she felt like she was useful, and somehow needed to “earn” her living not bringing in a financial contribution.

Thank you so much.. and if you are speaking from experience which sounds like you may be, l am sorry too. Yes l get so sick of people asking how l am but obviously they are going to ask that and yes it comes from a good place but l just feel obliged to say 'well you know just keeping busy ' or whatever. Sometimes l indeed do want to say 'shit, just shit beyond what you could ever imagine' .

My generation, yes, and it’s no big deal.

The generation above mine (now 80+) seems to be full of men who were incapable of running a washing machine. Combined with “standards” about ironing everything - leads to lunacy involving ironing pants and socks! The same men also incapable of using an iron.

My DM was shocked when she discovered that not only do I not wash my DH’s work shirts, but he irons them himself!

Just seen PP’s post - sorry for cross posting. Maybe time for a DVD marathon.

Surely adults just put washing in the machine when there a load. Maybe they take turns, maybe it's someone's normal chore. It's hardly a big job these days .

Has she watched Friday Night Dinner? Might she like it?

I hope she will be happy with him and have some great years ahead. Tell them about Immortal Unc, maybe they can start bio hacking together! Live long and prosper!

Have you ever watched Friday Night Dinner OP? The boyfriend is giving very strong Mr Morris vibes with the lovely Grandma Nelly!

Seriously though, would your mum consider seeing a solicitor so she’s aware of the pitfalls? Otherwise, I guess she’s an adult so can make poor decisions if she wants to.

Why should she? It is not what she is choosing to do. She has made a choice - just as we all do. It is hers to make.

People always go on about ‘washing his pants and socks’ - surely grown adults do their own washing?

if he has lots of money why doesn’t she move in with him and rent her house out after leaving it emptying and getting it ready.

It gives her the option to leave him much more easily.

Unfortunately warnings to the DM before they married went unheeded.

In the same way as such warnings go unheeded with anyone planning to marry someone we personally do not like or can see potential problems with ....young middle-aged, whatever..... it is all the same. The important factor is that anyone over 18 is an adult and has the right to make their own decisions and mistakes.
This man may not be to the family's taste but that is irrelevant. The family will only be with him for small amounts of time. He will be with mum for all those swathes of time when she was not with family and used to be alone.
Family have to just suck up their dislike of him. Harsh but true.
Mum knows him really well from years of contact and is allowed to make her choice even if it proves to be a mistake just as all adults do. Who knows there may have been a longstanding attraction ......

The DM of a friend of mine married a horrid man when she was in her 80s. This was his third marriage.

When the DM got ill he refused to allow anyone in to help take care of her even though they had plenty of money and could have paid for help if he didn’t want family helping.

when the DM died he inherited everything even things that had belonged to my friend’s DF. He sold the DMs house and gave the proceeds to his DC from his first marriage.

it was very distressing for my friend as they didn’t get jewellery willed to them and other sentimental items like photos. It had all “gone missing”.

Unfortunately warnings to the DM before they married went unheeded.

Does he have children of his own? If so and he is genuinely more wealthy, then they may be worried about the complications of him buying with your Mum as well. Are they planning to marry?
Definitely make sure she ring fences her money and if she puts money in, she must be on the deeds obviously.

Also wondering why they don’t just move in together and rent the other house out…..trying to co-ordinate two sales and a purchase will be very stressful.

This is exactly the same with my FIL. Though he met his extremely obnoxious around 24-7 won’t ever shut up new wife internet dating. Everyone hates her. They were married within a year. He has sold his house and moved in with her. He’s the one with more money. I highly doubt he’s ringfenced his money. She talks about ‘our money’. We don’t understand why make things complicated at this stage in life. They could have just lived separately and gone on lots of holidays. She’s awful though and very manipulative and undoubtedly after his money. Nothing any of us can do. Sympathies.