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Elderly parents

Would you go on holiday in these circumstances?

76 replies

Stillwearingskinnies · 31/07/2026 05:56

My mum tripped & fell over st home and has had a partial hip replacement. She is in hospital currently but should be discharged early next week. She has cognitive impairment, worsened recently. I have been visiting her in hospital and generally shes ok if a bit bored, snd then suddenly she becomes very distressed & wants to see my dad, saying shes never been apart from him etc.
Dad has dementia & has got considerably worse lately. I have arranged for homecare to start monday. Twice a day visit to help with meditation, food prep, light housekeeping.
It has been an awful few weeks. Mum fell down stairs in June & was in hospital for 2 weeks. During that visit they discovered a tumour on her kidney & lesions on her liver. They planned to operate in August but then she fell again so the surgery has been postponed.
I have been doing a lot for them and so has my aunt & uncle who live close to them (I am 45 mins away, I am working although not in school holidays).
Me, DH, 2 teens are due to go on holiday to France this weekend for 10 days. Another family member has expressed Horror that I'm even thinking about going.
I have done a big shop for my Dad, a Sainsbury's delivery is booked for next week, carers are due to start seeing my dad Monday, mum will have a care package when she comes out.
Should I not go to France?
Am I taking the piss expecting my aunt/uncle to take over temporarily?
If it wasn't the holidays, I still would have had to work mon-fri (part time)

OP posts:
WhatAMarvelousTune · 31/07/2026 06:10

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to be thinking about going.

It’s hard to say whether it’s reasonable to expect your aunt and uncle to take over. If you and they are already doing a lot, is it feasible for them to do it all? Your parents sound elderly - are your aunt and uncle a similar age? Are they fine with it, or are they the family member who has said you shouldn’t go?