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Elderly parents
Original poster

First time for a carer for my Mum, do I go as well?

30 replies

KarlWrenbury · 25/07/2026 13:19

So my mum is quite independent but early dementia in her own home and we've set up a carer to come for one hour every morning just to see how we go. Me and my Siblings can't decide whether I should be there as well or if we will get in the way of the new dynamic or whatever. She lives around the corner so it's no problem.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
KarlWrenbury · 25/07/2026 13:51

Christ, I have a job. I can't be there every day!

OP posts:
CariadDarling · 25/07/2026 13:50

I employ a team of caregivers to help me provide the 2-1 care round the clock care my adult son needs. I think you should be there even for a few weeks in order to help answer any questions the caregiver may have regarding your mum. As a rule of thumb any new staff we have (and we very very rarely do have new staff) shadows a shift leader for about 8 months before they lead a shift themselves. There is so much more to sorting out good care for someone than people think.

I wish you and yours all the best at this difficult time.

EmotionalBlackmail · 25/07/2026 13:44

Is it worth being there to set expectations and make sure they’re aware of what needs to be done for the full time.

I know mine would end up not letting them do anything, would try and make them a cup of tea!

Original poster
KarlWrenbury · 25/07/2026 13:25

Yeah, she's got early dementia so she keeps forgetting that we've arranged this for her and then she either thinks it's a good idea or she thinks that she doesn't need it and what is she going to do? Kind of thing

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 25/07/2026 13:22

Ask her if she wants you there. Obviously you won't be able to be there every time so you're right in that you shouldn't get her only used to the carer being present when you are. She does need to form a personal relationship with them.