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Elderly parents
Original poster

Advice on writing a simple eulogy for my mother's requiem mass

29 replies

Tolkienista · 02/07/2026 22:13

My mother died two days ago on June 30th, she'd been on end of life care since the end of February & astounded everyone by how long she lived despite being bedbound, in cognitive decline and losing so much weight.
The end came very very quickly, over the course of 6 hours or so, gradually her body shut down.
She lived in a wonderful care home.

I've never written a eulogy in my life, but I've volunteered to write hers and say it at her requiem mass. I've got copies of two excellent eulogies from cousins who wrote them for their mothers & what strikes me is the simplicity of their eulogies pretty much in chronological order, which is what I want to do.

I've already started writing sub headings , so I've got ideas, but any pointers, advice or experience please share and inspire me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolkienista · 03/07/2026 06:22

JustGiveMeReason · 02/07/2026 23:56

I was going to say to put things in chronological order, and touch on different parts of her life - her childhood family, her work, her falling in love / getting married, being a Mum, what she enjoyed doing. A small story here and there that will make people smile.

I would get together with siblings, and Aunts / Uncles if you have them to make sure their input is there too - particularly from the times before you were born, or before you can remember.

It is a difficult thing to write, but is actually quite theraputic if you can sit with people who knew her most of their lives and get into "Do you remember when....?" chats, which make you smile about all the happy memories, even though they won't all make it in.

I am sorry for your loss Flowers

Thank you for your message, that is very helpful. As I said, I've made a start and yes my start is chronological order. She had a very fulfilled happy life & a few years back I did touch on if I were writing a eulogy what I could put in and she gave me information that I wrote down and will use when putting it together.

OP posts:
harriettenightingale · 03/07/2026 00:39

So sorry for your loss. Some great advice here. For my dad I found it such a comforting experience to work on the eulogy with our celebrant as a family (my mum who he was divorced from and brothers). It was sad but it felt good to honour his life and remember happier memories.

CrochetDisaster · 02/07/2026 23:58

Very sorry for your loss.

Can be hard to find a starting point and can be a challenge depending on what type of person they were and the relationship you had.

I would suggest it is like a summary of their life- from where they were born to their later years - where they were born, their family, marriage/ children/ grandchildren/ pets/ faith/ friendships

Include their achievements in life - can be anything from family/ friends/
hobbies/ occupation / voluntary work.
Can reference any challenges they had as those who knew her well would have some awareness.

Reference to what they themselves valued and appreciated in life.

Try to find some humorous anecdotes/ phrases/ which can lighten the moment and may reflect how people remember her. I have laughed in some funerals when a funny anecdote was told at great length which was a fond memory for many.

it is good to have some examples of that you liked to give some starters.

JustGiveMeReason · 02/07/2026 23:56

I was going to say to put things in chronological order, and touch on different parts of her life - her childhood family, her work, her falling in love / getting married, being a Mum, what she enjoyed doing. A small story here and there that will make people smile.

I would get together with siblings, and Aunts / Uncles if you have them to make sure their input is there too - particularly from the times before you were born, or before you can remember.

It is a difficult thing to write, but is actually quite theraputic if you can sit with people who knew her most of their lives and get into "Do you remember when....?" chats, which make you smile about all the happy memories, even though they won't all make it in.

I am sorry for your loss Flowers