Cockroach cafe - summer

Good to hear from you @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne - how are you doing?

Good wishes to everyone who is having a hard time at the moment.

Sending virtual bunches of flowers to @Beetrootfrizz @BeMintFatball @minipoodlemum @funnelfan and @Ritaskitchen

and anyone else who’d like one… 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
How are you, @GnomeDePlume ?

@Beetrootfrizz am happy to share my Groundhog Day cocktail with you- I tend to keep a jug made up, as I need it often! 😅 🥤🥤

@minipoodlemum I’m so sorry. What an awful situation to be in

@minipoodlemum that sounds like a LOT. So sorry this is happening all at once. Pull up a chair and help yourself to a drink and some support.

Oh my goodness @minipoodlemum that sounds very stressful.
Hopefully your Mum settles in ok.

@minipoodlemumsympathies, that sounds tough. Well done for finding assisted living for your DM so quickly.

Lurker here, I have been reading your experiences which makes me feel a bit better about my situation and the complex emotions. DM is on palliative care for advanced lung cancer and every fortnight stays in a lovely hospice for a couple of nights. DF is her carer. On Thursday he didn’t turn up to collect her and we couldn’t track him down. He had gone out for the day on his own and had what appears to be a heart attack. Two strangers gave him CPR and he was taken to ITU but had no NOK on his NHS records. He is recovering well but Friday was a stressful day of making alternative arrangements for DM. I have found her an assisted flat from Monday for 6 weeks, 20 mins from their home. I live 5 hours away and will go up on Monday to move her into the flat.

I have packed some nice bedding and some basics like loo roll, washing powder and snacks. I have no idea what else is needed. She is ok with going there - she will get all her meals plus carers 4x a day. She is still pretty independent although is very frail and has reduced mobility.

I am so sorry that so many of us are going through this.

@funnelfan wishing you and your mum peace. P&P ❤️

Oh @funnelfan that makes me want to cry, it’s so tender. I would quite happily bow out to a bit of P&P! Glad you’re being looked after too.

@GnomeDePlume hope things are ok with you too..

Thanks for all the good wishes. No change here, still very peaceful. I’ve worked out when she is “awake” and when she’s “asleep”, as her Parkinson’s tremor only occurs when she’s awake. Her eyes aren’t always open. But when she’s “awake” I’m reading aloud to her so she knows I’m here. Pride and Prejudice as she loved a bit of Austen. I always got picked to read aloud at school things and she was really proud so that’s a nice memory too. And she squeezed my hand when I stumbled over an unfamiliar word and asked her what it is, so I’m taking that as a win too.

The staff are looking after me as well as mum - I’m very impressed that I get booted out of her room every three hours while they freshen her up and reposition her in the bed, and I’ve just been downstairs to find the kitchen staff had left me a plate of sandwiches and cake. The home manager is on holiday but has messaged me a couple of times to check in on us.

I think it was on a thread here that I read that the human body is so marvellous it even has its own shut down procedure, and knows how to die. Nature indeed taking its course.

Thinking of you @funnelfan you’ve always been such a support for others on this board 🍸

@BeMintFatball I am so sorry for your situation too 🍸

Always thinking of @GnomeDePlume and the long wait 🍸

Popping in to wave, offer solidarity and say Hello.
DF got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia yesterday by the GP. I feel relieved and sad at the same time.
Relieved because I had a feeling it wasn’t just depression and sad because he is turning into someone I don’t really recognize.
DH very sweetly printed out a photo from a holiday last year. It went well the holiday. Although in retrospect there were definitely signs of dementia then too.
DM is being treated for a horrible cancer. We don’t know yet if the radiotherapy has worked.
Also my DS has started a job he hates and for contractual and other reasons can’t get out of - military.
So I am bombarded with WhatsApp and calls about how much he hates it.
But we stagger on. I live abroad. So attended the appointment by phone with my DSis. GP was very good at slowly coming round to the diagnosis. Has prescribed DF Donepezil Hydrochloride for DF.
I can just sort of see the tricky times ahead but one step at a time I think.

I could do with one of those " Groundhog Day" cocktails! Mum's been off the antibiotics for 8 days so of course 2 more ( or the same??) infections happen and back on antibiotics again!!
Unmumnetty hugs and solidarity to all!

Another on thinking of you @funnelfan. Hoping things are gentle for you all 💐

Thinking of you, @funnelfan .

@funnelfan sorry your Mum isn’t able to recognise you. I hope it’s peaceful from here.

@funnelfan my mother is in a similar position. She has a brain tumour and had what we think was a major seizure a week ago. For 2 days she was asleep neither eating or drinking. But on the 3rd day she woke up and started eating again, except now she has partially lost the swallow reflex. Care home called out a Speech and Language Therapist who has prescribed drink thickener and her food to be pureed.

Mum went into home two months ago. Hospital prescribed end of life meds for when she needed them. So far they are not being given. She’s having liquid paracetamol and takes her tablets with cold custard as not safe with water. Can you imagine?

That’s a very good point, mums council did the same and she just got a giant “general waste” bin and they took away her recycling bins. She was already on “assisted collection” where she didn’t have to leave the bin at the front on bin day, the bin men went round the back to get it.

back in the day mum and dad were the binfluencers on the street so another unwanted milestone in decline.

Hello- long time lurker, was active when my mum was still alive and keep on popping in because I have friends whose parents are becoming infirm and there are always good tips in here.
When my mum was past being able to sort her recycling I was able to contact the council and they gave her an exemption. It might vary from council to council but it's worth asking.

I’m with mum, GP thinks she’s had a stroke (weakness, face drop) but can’t be certain unless she’s scanned and we’ve all agreed not to take her to hospital. She’s not showing any signs of acknowledging I’m here (usually I’d get a squeeze of the hand and a smile). Her eyes are half open and flicking about, and she has the odd hiccup attack but otherwise is quiet and peaceful.

The main concern is that she’s can’t/won’t swallow so it does indeed look like This Is It. GP has prescribed the EoL drugs, district nurse has been notified. My SIL has joined me and I’ll stay over with her tonight. Nothing to do now except wait.

@funnelfan hopefully she's not in distress. But it's a nasty shock. Take care of yourself.

Nice visit today. As people have said, it's good to be a daughter relative again rather than a nagger carer. And another relative is visiting her on Sunday!

We got her an ice cream and a cookie, measured her up and pointed her at the Next website, and said, SPEND YOUR MONEY ON SOME NICE CLOTHES. The horse has been led to water. I suspect it will wander off without drinking but you never know.

We sorted some of her late husband's clothes ready for the charity shop, but they're all winter things, so they're in a neat pile in an unused bedroom waiting for the autumn.

The concerning thing is she has a sore mouth. We both wonder if it's related to whatever the medics were doing biopsies for. She shrugged. I shrugged. I said she may as well use it as an excuse to order more ice-cream.

Measuring her up, I'm glad to say she's certainly not too thin. Good to have a little bit in reserve in case anything kicks off when you get old and frail.

I know the shit is still waiting to start flying so I very much appreciated today. It won't last...

Is there a ‘Groundhog Day’ cocktail on the menu please?

Mum rang three times today, to tell me her tale of woe. It’s the same one we’ve had every call for a while, and nothing on it is getting resolved. I’m going with, ‘I hope the LPA comes through soon, so I can help more’.

@bigdogpaws I was slow to recognise the bin thing, as I’m in a different area with different rules. She became quietly obsessive about not putting anything in the general waste bin. She’d put things in the closest plausible bin, and anything she really couldn’t allocate would be placed next to the bins for the bin men to decide.
I’m amazed they still take them to be honest, but it’s sorted roadside so I assume they have some capacity for reorganising everything 🤣

Honestly, it’s probably caused a lot of people OCD type compulsions as they panic about whether the plastic is stretchy or rattley.