Cockroach cafe - summer

Rest in peace, @funnelfan 's mum. Glad you could be with her and know for sure she went peacefully.

By the way, it seems appointments to register deaths go very quickly. I was told to wait a couple of hours from hearing the necessary paperwork had come through before booking, but found very few appointments left and had to get up at an unholy hour as a result. I'd say book as soon as you can, therefore:/

So sorry @funnelfan . I’m glad it was peaceful.

@funnelfan condolences to you and your family. I'm glad you were able to spend some peaceful time with your mum in her final days.

Sorry for your loss @funnelfan . Wishing you strength and peace for the days ahead.

Sorry to hear your update @funnelfan but glad it was peaceful.

Condolences funnelfan. I'm glad you could be with her at the end.

@funnelfan so sorry to hear about your Mum. 💐

Condolences @funnelfan. I'm glad it was peaceful.

Condolences, @funnelfan. It sounds like a calm death after some peaceful days spent together. 💐

Condolences @funnelfan

I'm so sorry @funnelfan but glad it was peaceful and that you were with her.

Condolences @funnelfan

Ah, FunnelFan. I’m sorry. I’m glad you had these peaceful times with her, and hope that all the next steps run smoothly for you.

Bless you @funnelfan, I’m glad you were able to be there and it was peaceful. 💐

I’m sorry @funnelfan

I’m sorry to hear about your mum @funnelfan and glad you were able to be there for a peaceful goodbye 💐

We’re here for the next bit and the weird waiting for formal things too 🍸

I'm sorry for your loss @funnelfan. I'm glad that you were able to be with her.

So sorry for your loss funnelfan. May your Mum rest in peace.

Mum finally died this morning - I got a call from the home at 7am saying that her breathing was getting worse, so I was with her at the end. It was as peaceful as the previous 7 days have been. She pulled a face like she’d stubbed a toe, gave a sigh and that was it.

now in that weird anticlimax phase where you spend a lot of time waiting - at the moment for the GP to certify death.

@funnelfan 100% , it's because (for once) you know there's nowhere else you should be and nothing else you should be doing.

I totally get that, funnelfan

It’s hard @Isitsticky because you are in a vulnerable place yourself at this time and it can make even the strongest of us second guess ourselves. I think it underlines the importance of trying to ascertain our loved one’s wishes well in advance when they’re able to express them. That way we’re able to have that confidence that, whatever the choice is, we’re doing what they would want. My mum never did but I’m going by opinions she expressed when she herself was in my position looking after elderly relatives. That’s 30 years ago now.

I’m about to leave for today’s vigil. It’s probably a bit odd to say (but this is where we say odd stuff isn’t it) but in some ways I’ve enjoyed the past few days sitting with mum. DH is dealing with home stuff, my boss is saying take as much time as you need, so all I need to do is sit. I’ve brought my latest crochet project with me and I’m switching up the tv between Classic FM and films/musicals she likes, in between the reading. I’m being fed and looked after by the staff at the home, and in the afternoons I take a 10 minute walk to the local Costa for a break in the real world. It’s almost like a little holiday, if it wasn’t for the reason I’m with mum. We’ve always been quite happy in each others company, whether chatting or in companiable silence.

Thanks for rhe support. I do know it's best for mum. But find it hard when it's challenged (even if they're just doing their job and clarifying). Yes, it's amazing that some HCPs who work with these residents are keen for them to go to hospital. I agree sometimes it's to move the problem on but sometimes it seems to be lack of awareness of what hospital would actually be like. Or maybe to be able to do the job they have to refuse to accept the awfulness of the reality.

I strongly suspect many HCPs recommend hospital as it’s then Not My Problem.

Mum is now not opening her eyes at all and I’m not sure whether she’s asleep or unconscious. Her breathing got a bit laboured this evening but improved slightly when I raised the head of her bed. No other visible changes so I’ve risked coming back to the house for some sleep.

Oh and it’s six days since she last had a drink and she’s still producing tiny bits of wee. She might weigh less than six stone now but she’s a tough old thing.