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Elderly parents

Small care home room - storing furniture?

32 replies

ThunderFog · 03/06/2026 05:25

Looking for ideas - DER is in a nursing home, in a tiny room. He has some furniture - chairs,desk, pictures, ornaments, several bookcases full of books. As a quick solution, I put the things in storage.
No relatives have space for these - has anyone dealt with this situation and what did you do?
DER isn't able to make decisions about his things, and does ask where they are. Is it covered by property and finance POA? Could I dispose of things? They wouldn't fetch more than the cost of a month's storage.

OP posts:
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ThunderFog · 06/06/2026 07:49

JuneAlready · 05/06/2026 17:41

There certainly is. Especially in the 'Get rid'

they're someone's belongings, their history, their lifes momentos a little respect goes a long way.

there's pragmatic & there's nasty.

Not everything is precious mementoes and meaningful things. The most precious things, my DER already gave to important people, for instance a framed photo of parents to his brother. There are a few items that have stories attached. Other items are things he wanted to dispose of anyway. He didn't want his stuff to become a nuisance, as he had cleared out a few houses himself.

Interestingly, DER said he didn't want his pictures on the care home wall - "I want it to be a liminal space, so I know I am going home soon."

OP posts:
catofglory · 05/06/2026 17:57

If it's larger stuff like pieces of furniture, sell or otherwise dispose of it.

If it's stuff like books or pictures, you could pick out a few things and take them (if there's any room).

I had POA for my mother and when she moved to a dementia care home I had to clear her flat. I used a house clearance company, she did not have anything worth selling and sadly a lot of it could have been described as 'junk'. The only things I kept were things she would use in the care home, clothes obviously and smaller stuff like photos. She gave me POA to make decisions in her best interests, so that's what I did.

JuneAlready · 05/06/2026 17:41

PintoPinto · 05/06/2026 13:24

Disrespectful IMO to call ALL of someone’s furniture and personal belongings “junk”, including when you don’t even know them. Common sense decisions are necessary of course, but there is a kind of distasteful contempt in some of the posts.

There certainly is. Especially in the 'Get rid'

they're someone's belongings, their history, their lifes momentos a little respect goes a long way.

there's pragmatic & there's nasty.

SleepingisanArt · 05/06/2026 17:41

If there are particular books, photos of pictures which your relative may want, and there is space for them at the care home then keep those. Furniture can be sold but any money must go back into your relatives account.

ThunderFog · 05/06/2026 17:28

SparkyBlue · 05/06/2026 13:41

We tell my dad he is in hospital to get his medication sorted. That seems to satisfy him.

I couldn't do that with DER - he has enough cognition to say "my meds are sorted, I want to go home now". He thinks home is a city fifty miles away and eighty years ago.

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ThunderFog · 05/06/2026 17:25

It is strange territory to be caring for the very elderly and there is no map. I am going to try to find homes for the things, and anything unwanted will have to go to the tip.

OP posts:
HedgehogsOnTheWall · 05/06/2026 13:48

PintoPinto · 05/06/2026 13:24

Disrespectful IMO to call ALL of someone’s furniture and personal belongings “junk”, including when you don’t even know them. Common sense decisions are necessary of course, but there is a kind of distasteful contempt in some of the posts.

I'm guessing you've never had to clear out a house...

Jk987 · 05/06/2026 13:45

If it’s a permanent move the sell or charity the items. Else they’d be in storage forever?

SparkyBlue · 05/06/2026 13:41

Soontobe60 · 05/06/2026 13:37

What would you say to someone in a care home who keeps asking to ‘go home’ when they can’t?

We tell my dad he is in hospital to get his medication sorted. That seems to satisfy him.

Soontobe60 · 05/06/2026 13:37

saraclara · 04/06/2026 20:57

That. The items do not become the property of the attorney to do what they want with. If the person in the care home knows that their property exists and is asking about it, the attorney has absolutely no right to dispose of it. These items remain the property of their owner.

My mum's possessions were put into a container in a farmer's field. It was pretty cheap.
She would often ask us for things that were in the container. We would put her off, because we knew we'd never be able to find those specific items, because everything was in boxes piled up in the container.

But the container was not emptied and the contents disposed of until after she died, as she maintained an element of awareness of her belongings to the end.

My MIL's dementia meant that after a couple of years, she had no awareness even of herself, never mind her possessions. At that point my sister in law, with the help of other family members, disposed of MIL's belongings.

Edited

What would you say to someone in a care home who keeps asking to ‘go home’ when they can’t?

Soontobe60 · 05/06/2026 13:34

Honestly, I’d get someone like British Heart Foundation to take it and tip the rest if he’s never going to be returning home.

PintoPinto · 05/06/2026 13:24

Disrespectful IMO to call ALL of someone’s furniture and personal belongings “junk”, including when you don’t even know them. Common sense decisions are necessary of course, but there is a kind of distasteful contempt in some of the posts.

Loubissou · 05/06/2026 13:11

The attorney is meant to act in the person's best interests once they lose capacity to decide for themselves. Paying for storage for items they will never use and are of negligible value is not in their interests. It would be poor financial advice.

POA means having to make difficult decisions that the donor doesn't always agree with.

saraclara · 04/06/2026 20:57

Yetone · 04/06/2026 14:19

If the person wants it stored and they have the money to pay for it then that is what should be done regardless of if it is pointless or not.

That. The items do not become the property of the attorney to do what they want with. If the person in the care home knows that their property exists and is asking about it, the attorney has absolutely no right to dispose of it. These items remain the property of their owner.

My mum's possessions were put into a container in a farmer's field. It was pretty cheap.
She would often ask us for things that were in the container. We would put her off, because we knew we'd never be able to find those specific items, because everything was in boxes piled up in the container.

But the container was not emptied and the contents disposed of until after she died, as she maintained an element of awareness of her belongings to the end.

My MIL's dementia meant that after a couple of years, she had no awareness even of herself, never mind her possessions. At that point my sister in law, with the help of other family members, disposed of MIL's belongings.

BoarBrush · 04/06/2026 20:39

Fil doesn't have capacity the majority of the time, was enough for us to be allowed to sell his house. His house was gutted and cleaned by a single company, it all went to the tip, or for a round of pints if they managed to salvage anything.

There's no point keeping junk in storage. Get rid.

gingercat02 · 04/06/2026 18:54

If he has lost capacity, the person who has LPA can just dispose of any property he has no room for, obviously any money must go back into his estate.
My MiL had a severe stroke 3 years ago. BiL and DH, have sold her house and all her possessions apart from clothes, jewellery and a few photos. She has no idea, not because we haven't told her, but because she doesn't remember.
It's very sad 😔

ThunderFog · 04/06/2026 17:57

I put his things in storage while we figured out next steps. Realistically, most of it would go to charity shop or tip.
He has very little money. I don't think storing stuff he's never going to use is a good use of it.
@Duvetdayneeded you are right.

OP posts:
PintoPinto · 04/06/2026 14:44

DER isn't able to make decisions about his things, and does ask where they are

i’m not sure I’m totally in agreement with previous posters. As you say, they are his personal possessions and he does ask where they are. I don’t think I would like someone disposing of mine without my permission. However, you say he can’t “make decisions about things”; but I’m not sure exactly what that means. Sorry if I’m misunderstanding.

Have you talked to him about them? Is he cognitively able to understand? Perhaps he would be open to disposing of the furniture or larger items, say, but keeping some smaller personal possessions like ornaments? As other people have said, could he afford to put these in storage?

Yetone · 04/06/2026 14:19

notatinydancer · 03/06/2026 09:05

What for though if they are staying in the care home ? If it was just for respite it wouldn’t be in storage ?

If the person wants it stored and they have the money to pay for it then that is what should be done regardless of if it is pointless or not.

ThunderFog · 04/06/2026 14:05

Thankyou all, sorry for garbled post. DER was in a large room in a care home (he used to rent a tiny flat). He was able to decide what furniture to have in the big room. Now he is in a different care home and cannot have furniture but also cannot make decisions.

OP posts:
fudgesmummy · 03/06/2026 14:29

When my elderly DM went into a care home, and realistically we knew she would never come out, we got rid of all her furniture and large belongings.
We were getting her flat ready to be rented out and the new tenant didn’t want anything left in situ.
We ended up giving the washing machine, fridge, freezer and microwave away for free and a local charity shop came and picked up her armchairs, units and dining room set.
All her personal items like photos, ornaments etc went up in our loft just in case.
Sadly she died 18 months later never seeing them again.
They then went to the charity shop.

parietal · 03/06/2026 09:51

If relative isn’t going to leave the care home and you have PoA, then you can distribute the items in the same way as you would after relative died. Do you know what is in the will? If the will says “grandchild Lucy should receive the shepherdess ornament” then Lucy could get it now.

when my aunt went into a care home, we (5 niece & nephews with 6 grand nieces) had a lunch at her house to organise the possessions. Each person picked one low value memento remember our aunt, and one cousin who particularly wanted a chair / table set took them. Everyone agreed the rest of the furniture should be sold and so we did. it was a “work day” not a party, but it was the simplest way to get all the family to agree.

notatinydancer · 03/06/2026 09:05

Yetone · 03/06/2026 06:57

It really does depend on if your relative can afford to pay for storage. If they have the money then they should be stored.

What for though if they are staying in the care home ? If it was just for respite it wouldn’t be in storage ?

DemonsandMosquitoes · 03/06/2026 07:34

Get rid.

gingercat02 · 03/06/2026 07:32

Is he in care permanently? Does he not have a house or flat full of stuff rather than bits and bobs?
If his normal residence has to be sold to fund his care, then the LPA covers that, if not then it can all stay there until it needs to be sold.
I don't really understand the issue.

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