How to deal with Mum insisting on things that aren't true (when she is still mostly with it)?

I dont want to be mean or horrid , but I would also advise on a LPA in place as soon as possible

I had to have that DNR conversation with mum 10 days before her death and 2 days previous she was asking to be kept alive - untreatable cancer and a heart attack

This stage caring for elders is heartbreaking

A diagnosis helps as everyone dealing with her will know in advance, and hopefully avoid the endless loop of her telling them things she has made up, being believed and then predictable crisis.

In the moment however, it isn't worth correcting her. She can't remember she can't remember, you in particular are her little girl while she is an experienced adult so obviously she'd be right and you wrong to her mind.

If she's being seen at home, conversations with HCPs on the doorstep are helpful. As is vigorously shaking your head behind her back if she is getting stuff wrong.

Make sure you are down as being able to share her medical information at the GP, they usually want a letter from her to do this before the LPA kicks in. An accidental success for me is that my DM doesn't use a mobile, but my mobile is down on her record as the preferred number. Means everyone calls me first before calling her so I get to give an update.

I've spent the afternoon with my Dear Elderly Relative who can still talk authoritatively about theology and philosophy. He is very insistent that he doesn't require tablets, hasn't had a fall recently, and is not in pain. He thinks the nursing home staff aren't very good, because they won't let him walk down to the library.

Sorry no suggestions - it took about five years to get a dementia diagnosis.

My advice is push for a diagnosis if you can, because it makes certain things easier, and pick your battles.

If the untruth has no impact, just let it go. In the case of specific medical ones, a) this is where having a diagnosis would be useful and b) see if you can have a route for correcting things in a way that's not in front of her/a way of contacting them separately so you can give correct information. It can be distressing/angering/agitating for them when they're getting contradicted on something they think is true and it is almost never helpful to argue the toss, as you've found!

And I would say it's not too early for a health LPA - get it while she still has capacity. It's much more of a pain once they aren't deemed to have capacity any more!