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Elderly parents

Am I right that most elderly people must self-fund care if they have assets?

193 replies

Coffeeisnotmycupoftea · 07/05/2026 09:25

People telling me time and again that my mum could get care home fees paid for by the government and I am certain they are wrong.

Mum is in the advancing stages of Alzheimer's having suffered now for 8 years. Between my father, my sister and I we have been caring for her ourselves. We now have a team of carers coming in 3 times a day as we are trying are best to keep her at home, for as long as possible.

We really don't want to put mum into a home if we can help it even though it is becoming a struggle (more for dad as he feels he has no life). This is not because of the fear of losing money as it's costing over £1k per week for the home carers as it is. It's more that we can keep an eye on her care at home and have yet to find a home we like the look of (have been viewing quite a few of late) but the truth is that mum will more than likely need to go into a care home within the next 6 months to a year as her care needs progress.

My parents have assets. I have looked into everything for them and have had SS round to do assessments etc and each and every time we are told care would need to be paid for in full by my parents (with AA and pensions included) because they have well over the £23,250 threshold. My parents FA has also given this information to us. We are fine with this and fully aware if you have any assets you need to pay for your care.

However, so many people we know tell us that mum should and would qualify for 'free' care. They seem to believe that continuing healthcare is really easy to get and I keep hearing their stories that their mum or dad are getting getting care home fees paid for free despite them owning property or having lots of savings etc. My sister is now pushing for us to find out more because someone she works for is telling her we absolutely must not pay for care home fees as we can get it paid for (??).

I am fed up telling them that isn't the case for a large percentage of people and most will have to fund their own care fees whether that is at home care or in a care facility.

I am right, aren't I? That most people with substantial savings and/or a home of their own will need to fund their own care? (I understand a house can not be sold whilst a spouse is living there but if they die the house will need to be sold to pay for the fees?)

OP posts:
SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 08/05/2026 23:10

For anybody who is thinking about how their elderly patients possible.mursing home care will be funded.

And they haven't made a Will and
If they have assets and own their own home

Get in touch with a Solicitor and talk about Trusts, Minimising Inheritance Tax and Tenants in Common.

Lots of Smoke and Mirrors and crafty manoeuvres around these type of legal shaninghams.
How to avoid Deprivation of Assets without really trying?

Sorry to hear about your Mother's poor health. You sound very caring, and you are certainly doing the best you can for her.

Best Wishes
🙏🫰
X

McLennonK · 08/05/2026 22:12

CHC is only for if you have medical needs. Any dementia does not count as medical, unfortunately. My mum has vascular dementia but unfortunately she has no other medical problems. Yes, it is unfortunate, as I would rather she had a huge heart attack rather than years of slow decline, which i am dreading.
I am now in the position of having to sell her property to pay for her care home. I find it annoying because she has paid tax all her life, went back to work full time when I was 6 weeks old, and paid off her mortgage as a single mother. But, that's the way it is. The property funds will go on care fees and at least she will be safe and looked after.

dementedmummy · 08/05/2026 22:07

Coffeeisnotmycupoftea · 07/05/2026 09:25

People telling me time and again that my mum could get care home fees paid for by the government and I am certain they are wrong.

Mum is in the advancing stages of Alzheimer's having suffered now for 8 years. Between my father, my sister and I we have been caring for her ourselves. We now have a team of carers coming in 3 times a day as we are trying are best to keep her at home, for as long as possible.

We really don't want to put mum into a home if we can help it even though it is becoming a struggle (more for dad as he feels he has no life). This is not because of the fear of losing money as it's costing over £1k per week for the home carers as it is. It's more that we can keep an eye on her care at home and have yet to find a home we like the look of (have been viewing quite a few of late) but the truth is that mum will more than likely need to go into a care home within the next 6 months to a year as her care needs progress.

My parents have assets. I have looked into everything for them and have had SS round to do assessments etc and each and every time we are told care would need to be paid for in full by my parents (with AA and pensions included) because they have well over the £23,250 threshold. My parents FA has also given this information to us. We are fine with this and fully aware if you have any assets you need to pay for your care.

However, so many people we know tell us that mum should and would qualify for 'free' care. They seem to believe that continuing healthcare is really easy to get and I keep hearing their stories that their mum or dad are getting getting care home fees paid for free despite them owning property or having lots of savings etc. My sister is now pushing for us to find out more because someone she works for is telling her we absolutely must not pay for care home fees as we can get it paid for (??).

I am fed up telling them that isn't the case for a large percentage of people and most will have to fund their own care fees whether that is at home care or in a care facility.

I am right, aren't I? That most people with substantial savings and/or a home of their own will need to fund their own care? (I understand a house can not be sold whilst a spouse is living there but if they die the house will need to be sold to pay for the fees?)

You are correct. However if your father is still alive ask him to consult his lawyer and ask them about a life interest trust in his will. It puts his one half share in trust for your mum on his death and ring fences at least one half share of the house for you and your sister from care home fees. This is not a lifetime asset protection trust (run far away from these things!) but it is at least a half way house to preserve some cash from being swallowed entirely by care home fees. It also doesn't fall foul of the CRAG rules on care home fees. Ps if you are in Scotland, you can and should get an element of free care but it is no where the £1k a week you are currently paying. Either way while your dad is in the house the value of the house should be disregarded for care home fees financing. Also the council will look at taking half of what is in joint bank accounts so if your dad gets more income than your mum, consider redirecting his income into a dole account in his name. Long story short - consult an estate planning/private client solicitor to make sure you are claiming what you should be and that your father's assets are protected. Look up the Society of Trust and Estates Practitioners for a specialist solicitor local to you

ScartlettSole · 08/05/2026 20:45

PygmyOwl · 07/05/2026 09:41

Yes you are right. And FWIW I agree with this system. The taxpayer can't afford to take on the financial burden of long-term care for those who have the money to pay for it themselves.

Most elderly people paid taxes all their working days. It's awful they are charged for it.

Iwantroplayanothergame · 08/05/2026 20:28

Continuing healthcare is almost impossible to get! My father was on end of life care, totally bedridden, totally incontinent, unable to feed himself or even hold cutlery or a drink, unable to swallow tablets and had rapid onset dementia (20weeks) leaving him not knowing me or my mum and they said because he was stuck in bed and was compliant ( I kept telling him to be good and do as he was told), he qualified for nothing! His RAF training meant he knew to follow instructions and his love for me made him do what I asked. He died 4 weeks later.
The assessment for continuing healthcare is a joke and even the care home were shocked he did not qualify. As I left I made a point of telling him to give them hell but he was too much of a gentleman to be a nuisance to anyone!

Coffeeisnotmycupoftea · 08/05/2026 19:57

joles12 · 08/05/2026 18:17

Not saying I disagree but interested in your. Views on the equity of a system that allows the following

2 couples both earn the same amount each year. Couple 1 do t go on many holidays / don’t eat out much and save as much as they can to buy a house and pay off their mortgage. The house appreciates and they have a significant asset
couple 2 spend a lot on holidays / nights out / smoking etc . They never quite save a deposit so pay rent their whole lives.
why should the taxpayer form the continuing healthcare of couple 2 - and why are couple 1 penalised for saving nd being frugal ?

This is a similar scenario to my parents and my neighbour, all of a similar age. My parents saved all their money and neighbours lived it up throughout their retirement buying a new car every few years and lots of holidays etc. They also helped their children out a lot financially.

Mum now has advanced dementia and neighbour had a massive stroke 18 months ago. The only difference is that we can pick and choose mum's care where neighbour has to have the LA funded care package and that means whilst mum has the exact same carers every week that we have all been able to build a lovely relationship with my neighbour has a different carer every day/week and they call at all times of the day and night. There is little consistency in the care.

If they both need a care home we can go view all the local ones to us and make a choice based on what we believe to be the right home for mum but neighbour will have to go in whichever home the LA will deem suitable and affordable to them. There are very few choices if you have no private funds.

OP posts:
Coffeeisnotmycupoftea · 08/05/2026 19:49

Dovecare · 08/05/2026 18:13

You need to apply for continuing care. This is for people who need nursing care rather than residential care. It sounds as though mum might be eligible and it is non means tested.

Mum has been assessed for her needs, she doesn't need nursing home care just dementia care in a care home.

OP posts:
RosieHosie · 08/05/2026 19:33

SilverGlitterBaubles · 08/05/2026 19:13

Can I ask how it works if family do not have immediate access to a parents cash? What if it takes time to sort out selling assets? If the family do not have access to a few thousand a month how does it work?

The council will normally pay as a type of loan then recoup from the proceeds of the house

Daftypants · 08/05/2026 19:29

You’re correct, their home won’t need to be sold now to cover the costs but it will need to be sold in the future to cover the costs .
The threshold is low right now .
When my mum was in a care home she was self funding but as soon as her assets depleted to a certain level ( I’d sold her house ) the local council part paid .
So when she passed away there was very little left in her bank and no other assets .
That is sad but also is ok because the home looked after her well for her last years .

SilverGlitterBaubles · 08/05/2026 19:13

Can I ask how it works if family do not have immediate access to a parents cash? What if it takes time to sort out selling assets? If the family do not have access to a few thousand a month how does it work?

Squirrelsnut · 08/05/2026 19:11

saraclara · 07/05/2026 10:45

My mum had a massive stroke which left her paralysed and in need of 24 hour care. She did not qualify. The refusal of finding went to appeal, but no.

I have never heard a of anyone with dementia getting funding.

I could have written this but my mum did get funding. She was in a nursing home for almost 8 years and it was paid for. She died late 2023. I wonder what was so different about her situation?

Mischance · 08/05/2026 19:07

Yes ... the main info is on gov website. The basic tool shows you the sort of criteria they use so you can get some idea of whether someone qualifies. But really worth talking to Beacon because they will give you free advice on the best way to proceed to stand the best chance of getting it. www.beaconchc.co.uk I would not have got it for my late OH without their help.

JLou08 · 08/05/2026 18:49

The markers for the CHC assessment are on the gov website. The DST document gives the most detail. It's worth looking into, a fair few people with dementia do get it. It sounds like your mum wouldn't be at the threshold yet if she can be safely cared for at home without medical staff. However, if her cognition deteriorated to the point she was doing really dangerous things and she started displaying challenging behaviours she may get it. It does need to be severe, one example I can think of where CHC was granted was someone who needed 2:1 support because he was assaulting others with no warning sign of escalation and he had zero awareness of risk, he would just walk into a busy road, try and drink boiling water etc.

Fiftyandme · 08/05/2026 18:49

Mancity08 · 08/05/2026 18:38

my fil had continued care vascular dementia which was paid for, he didn’t have savings to the amount of 23k but had an annuity with 37k (which he left to his children after his death)
His wife stayed in the house (400k) she is now also in a home with psychotic dementia, she has continual care and her son (who was her carer ) lives in the bungalow.
Their borough is Cheshire

Continuing Health Care.

Fiftyandme · 08/05/2026 18:48

Unless your Kim qualifies for CHC funding (and it’s worth fighting for) then her assets will be used to funded her care until she falls below the threshold of around 23500

Lovedogwalking · 08/05/2026 18:44

Your mother should be assessed financially on her own assets and income, not joint assets. If you are really stuck look up the society of later life advisers ( SOLLA)
They will have advisers in your area who can help you sort out what your mother's financial responsibilities are in this instance.

Mancity08 · 08/05/2026 18:43

Also dp mother lived on her own in an apartment
she went into care when family couldnt cope any
longer. She had Alzheimer's, she was funded until her apartment was sold. Then she had to pay herself. She then later also hit continued care until she passed.
West Cheshire

countrygirl99 · 08/05/2026 18:41

TBH it's those who were in poorly paid jobs who are most likely to end up funded by the state. The cleaners, carers, retail workers etc. not those who earned a good salary and pissed it away.

Mancity08 · 08/05/2026 18:38

my fil had continued care vascular dementia which was paid for, he didn’t have savings to the amount of 23k but had an annuity with 37k (which he left to his children after his death)
His wife stayed in the house (400k) she is now also in a home with psychotic dementia, she has continual care and her son (who was her carer ) lives in the bungalow.
Their borough is Cheshire

joles12 · 08/05/2026 18:17

PygmyOwl · 07/05/2026 09:41

Yes you are right. And FWIW I agree with this system. The taxpayer can't afford to take on the financial burden of long-term care for those who have the money to pay for it themselves.

Not saying I disagree but interested in your. Views on the equity of a system that allows the following

2 couples both earn the same amount each year. Couple 1 do t go on many holidays / don’t eat out much and save as much as they can to buy a house and pay off their mortgage. The house appreciates and they have a significant asset
couple 2 spend a lot on holidays / nights out / smoking etc . They never quite save a deposit so pay rent their whole lives.
why should the taxpayer form the continuing healthcare of couple 2 - and why are couple 1 penalised for saving nd being frugal ?

MMUmum · 08/05/2026 18:16

Coffeeisnotmycupoftea · 07/05/2026 09:25

People telling me time and again that my mum could get care home fees paid for by the government and I am certain they are wrong.

Mum is in the advancing stages of Alzheimer's having suffered now for 8 years. Between my father, my sister and I we have been caring for her ourselves. We now have a team of carers coming in 3 times a day as we are trying are best to keep her at home, for as long as possible.

We really don't want to put mum into a home if we can help it even though it is becoming a struggle (more for dad as he feels he has no life). This is not because of the fear of losing money as it's costing over £1k per week for the home carers as it is. It's more that we can keep an eye on her care at home and have yet to find a home we like the look of (have been viewing quite a few of late) but the truth is that mum will more than likely need to go into a care home within the next 6 months to a year as her care needs progress.

My parents have assets. I have looked into everything for them and have had SS round to do assessments etc and each and every time we are told care would need to be paid for in full by my parents (with AA and pensions included) because they have well over the £23,250 threshold. My parents FA has also given this information to us. We are fine with this and fully aware if you have any assets you need to pay for your care.

However, so many people we know tell us that mum should and would qualify for 'free' care. They seem to believe that continuing healthcare is really easy to get and I keep hearing their stories that their mum or dad are getting getting care home fees paid for free despite them owning property or having lots of savings etc. My sister is now pushing for us to find out more because someone she works for is telling her we absolutely must not pay for care home fees as we can get it paid for (??).

I am fed up telling them that isn't the case for a large percentage of people and most will have to fund their own care fees whether that is at home care or in a care facility.

I am right, aren't I? That most people with substantial savings and/or a home of their own will need to fund their own care? (I understand a house can not be sold whilst a spouse is living there but if they die the house will need to be sold to pay for the fees?)

If someone is assessed for and awarded Continuing Healthcare Funding (CHC) their fees are paid by health authority funding without the need for personal contribution.

RosieHosie · 08/05/2026 18:15

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/05/2026 18:13

If I had my time over I would use a solicitor to get paid care if it's for medical reasons. SS just say "no" as a matter of course.

If you have medical needs, it's the NHS who assess, not SS.

Lallie87 · 08/05/2026 18:15

My mum had dementia and had to fund her own care for the 10 months she was in her care home as she had too much in savings and a house to sell. The nurses applied for continuing care funding about half way through, but it was refused because her care needs weren’t deemed to be high enough. The final week of her life was covered retrospectively because by then she was ill enough that she needed a greater level of care.

Dovecare · 08/05/2026 18:13

You need to apply for continuing care. This is for people who need nursing care rather than residential care. It sounds as though mum might be eligible and it is non means tested.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/05/2026 18:13

If I had my time over I would use a solicitor to get paid care if it's for medical reasons. SS just say "no" as a matter of course.