WWYD? Worried my elderly grandad may no longer be safe to drive

Is he keeping up with getting the car insured/ taxed / MOTd ? This is checkable on the DVLA bit of gov.uk.
If not then it's easy to argue that he shouldn't be driving.

A friend discovered that her parent's car wasnt taxed, insured or motd ...and then took the car away .

Stopping someone driving because of ability based concerns is very different from reporting a drunk driver though. If you’re over the alcohol limit then that’s illegal and clearly should be reported. With driving it’s not as black and white, until the day it becomes so.

With DF I thought he probably wasn’t going to be safe driving, so I got him to drive me with him to one of his hospital appointments. His driving was acceptable so I didn’t feel I could report him. It was only when the gardener reported his reversing and we checked the car that I had concrete facts and felt that reporting him to DVLA was absolutely the right thing to do, although gardener should have done it himself.

Something as important as this shouldn’t be left singlehandedly down to adult DCs to report, not least because not everyone has one. Going forward I would be much more likely to report dangerous driving if I saw it. Currently it’s a societal responsibility, but it is beyond me why they don’t just have some mandatory testing and medical issues reporting or blanket ban by age with retest if you want your license back.

Yes I used the wrong word there. I meant the opposite.
I have seen many threads where non-drivers are vilified.

(see the approbation elsewhere on MN directed at non-drivers)

Do you mean "approbation"? I've not seen threads or comments applauding or vilifying non-drivers, so I'm not sure what you mean.

My mum has stopped driving for health reasons (I think she was concerned she would be in too much pain doing certain manoeuvres), and my dad has reduced the amount he drives. Mum has another driver living with her, and Dad lives in an area with reasonable alternatives, so I think neither would take unnecessary risks.

Email DVLA AND his GP... this is not about your grandfather or your grandmother, this is about every other person on the road/pavement... and their safety.
If you knew someone was drink driving on a regular basis, would you not report them? This is exactly the same thing with the same possible horrific outcome.

I agree

Shop him to the DVLA. My friend did this with her father, and I would have done it with mine. If people won’t take responsibility for their actions…

It always seems like madness that on licence renewal there isn’t a medical assessment that is needed. It’s blatantly obvious that people will not be truthful on forms and will not declare medical issues if if stops them driving. It shouldn’t be the responsibility of family and friends, who are then at risk of abuse and relationship fracturing. It should be a blanket, fair medical assessment that everyone needs to have before a renewal takes place.

I’d make an excuse to get him to drive you somewhere and then take it from there. If you feel his driving is dangerous, report him.

Both my parents still drive very competently at 86 and 84.

But if she has concerns about him in day to day life, he’s hardly going to be on the ball when driving behind a vehicle that could have the potential to end someones life.

report him Op. someone losing their life doesn’t trump someone having their independence.

I agree. We are so wedded to driving in our society, that we blind ourselves to just how dangerous it is, and the idea of not doing it is seen as extreme (see the approbation elsewhere on MN directed at non-drivers).
How do people who turn a blind eye to dangerous elderly drivers feel about drink driving? I know morally it feels different, but outcome is potentially the same.

Well, to be fair, you were 'lucky' there @bilbodog
I mean, you did a good thing but the fact that he had dementia and quickly forgot about it was lucky for you. I don't doubt that the dementia made things tough in many other ways. But a lot of people who are past driving would not forget and would just get themselves another car. It's a terrible problem in society.

@Gingercatlover
Did you mention any medical issues? They can check with GP. Whether they will, I don't know. I agree the slow response and what seems like the DVLA not prioritising the issue is really frustrating.

When my father obviously had dementia my sister and i removed the car from his house so he couldnt drive it, and sold it. He thought it was being repaired initially but then seemed to forget all about it.

i dont understand why family members dont just remove the car.

Haven’t read all the replies but I reported someone anonymously it has taken them four months to send a form of which said person then just didn’t tell the truth in their answers.

The form has been sent back, no idea what happens next?

My nan was a nightmare in her car .. she had a couple of TIAs and she had lumps out of her car .. I approached her doctor twice and asked if there was anything he could do and he said no and that he could only ask her, which he says he did and she refused. She would drive down to my house with one hand over her eye, that had a cataract following the middle line as a guide... Her son also aided and abetted her as he'd lost his licence due to glaucoma but still needed to get about. My nan also used to lie about the continual damage to the car and it was really a nightmare.. afterwards I found out my uncle with no licence had been driving it too... I did take the keys and my uncle produced the spare and had it copied..Sadly she was only stopped when she had a massive stroke and never left care again .. my uncle came and took her car up to his but I cancelled the insurance. I could not believe that the doctor didn't want to help and I know this sounds daft but I didn't know you could just report someone, I wish I had. She knew how I felt because I refused to let my girls go in the car with her but she just blanked all of it out and carried on. I want to be clear in her younger years she was none of these things, most certainly not dishonest but the damage from the TIAs changed her and she had vascular dementia.

If his adult children are determined to be completely wet about it and won’t report him themselves, then yes, you should.
Honestly I think people who know a relative shouldn’t drive, and just flap about wringing their hands while not reporting are completely awful. Yes, the reporting may not lead to anything. And if that happens, ultimately you cannot actually stop them driving. But a firm conversation before they get into a machine capable of killing someone is really a bare minimum.

He has to give up driving, in his own and 'the public interest' as they call it. A little girl was killed in a town in Co Antrim a couple of years ago because an elderly driver pressed the accelerator instead of the brake. It's not worth the risk just so he can maintain 'independence'. If his general health isn't great, he might also be in stroke or TIA territory as a mid 80s man, you don't want to suffer one of those at the wheel ffs.
(Attendance Allowance at the lower rate is about £300 a month, it can help pay for taxi journeys to the shops, doctors, appts etc. )

I think there's enough in the OP to warrant telling the DVLA about her concerns.
Reporting someone will not necessarily result in his licence being revoked but in this circumstance may well do.

But the point is the op has not seen her grandfather drive.

I can't believe the number of posters essentially telling you to turn a blind eye! I think if you've noticed it, then it is your responsibility to report it.
I have done just that recently. Reported to DVLA following an accident, all anonymous, they're not quick to act but they are acting and the person isn't driving at the moment as the car was a write-off.

And to add, we haven't reported her to the DVLA yet, as we are not sure it would make any difference, she would either not remember that she wasn't allowed to drive, or just do it anyway. Prevention is the better option.

My DM (82) insists she could still drive, if she needs to and that she would like to be able to. She has cognative decline (nothing yet diagnosed but you only have to have a conversation with her to notice), poor eyesight and needs to go to the opticians, but even then it is unlikely that she would wear her glasses as she often claims she can see perfectly well.
Fortunately her physical health means that she would struggle to walk to where the car is parked and for extra measures we have moved the car keys.
DF (81) seems absolutely fine, processing skills and sight not even questionable so this is why they still have a car.

We have the exact same problem except it’s my 90 year father and my overbearing mother. She’s insistent he’s fine and that they would lose their independent if they couldn’t drive despite the fact taxis have been mentioned and they can more than afford it. He has been diagnosed with mild cognitive decline which I reported to the DVLA last year and they did nothing. He had to renew his licence this year and I had to fill the form in but it just asked for diagnoses which I reiterated. That was February and we’ve heard nothing or so my parents say. I have genuine concerns he’s got a letter back saying his driving licence has been withdrawn and we’ve not been told but DVLA won’t speak to us (me and my sister) only to him.

I haven’t driven with him but people who have say he’s a safe driver but my issue is he struggles to make decisions, forgets where he is and I don’t think is capable of acting quickly in an emergency situation. He’s got 3 parking tickets in the past 6 months. When we saw one of the photos he’d actually just abandoned it in a car park in what he thought was a parking space but wasn’t. He also had to do a speed awareness course (23 in a 20) and it won’t get picked up unless they’re asked questions and clearly don’t understand what’s going on. They also insist he only does short journeys but in the past few weeks since the weather has improved he’s taken some long drives into the countryside.

It’s big worry and I think my next move is to report anonymously. At the very least I think they need to do some proper assessment of him.