Just need to vent. I’m late 50s and DM late 90s. She lives in very supported living accommodation and is mentally still pretty sharp. Physically she’s increasingly frail and losing weight, but no signs of any underlying cause except old age. She’s permanently tired and breathless.
I am really struggling to always be positive and sympathetic with her. She’s always been a negative person, pessimistic and anxious. I had a pretty unhappy childhood.
Every time I see her or phone, I get presented with a list of woes and problems. She never asks how I am or shows any interest in my life. It’s so hard to always be encouraging and positive and I am finding that I dread having to turn on the positivity. If I don’t try to be positive the conversation just spirals into doom and gloom. I’m just tired of the situation and then feel terribly guilty for thinking that. When people ask about her and find out she is the age that she is, often they’ll say how marvellous or amazing she is and how lucky I am. I know many lose their Mum at far younger age but I’m just worn out with the endless appointments and errands on top of the overwhelming negativity.