Cockroach cafe - Spring to Summer 2026

I’m sorry too @jellyfish798

I am sorry for your loss @jellyfish798.

@jellyfish798 Condolences in your loss. Wishing you strength for the days ahead.

@jellyfish798 condolences💐. I'm glad it was peaceful and hope that helps you come to terms with it.

I'm glad your dad died peacefully @jellyfish798 and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I’m sorry @jellyfish798. Take care of yourself.

Condolences @jellyfish798 .
Hope someone at work has "been there" and will be, if not helpful, at least appropriate.

Sending best wishes - hope you get some comfort from his end being peaceful.

Condolences @jellyfish798. A peaceful end for our loved one is what many of us hope for. It’s comforting even through the grief. Wishing you strength to deal with your workplace as they don’t sound good.

I'm sorry for your loss @jellyfish798

Just an update guys. My dad died today. Got family here. Just having some quiet time with the pets. Thinking things over.
He went peacefully xx

That DM's GP is useless is nothing new. She has had the same one for years and has been unhappy with him the whole time but small town and no choice.

This isnt the first time the GP has done something neglectful. Some months ago he switched DM's diabetes medication which resulted in a very severe hypo and hospital. The thing was, DM had the same thing before on the same medication. GP too lazy to read his own notes.

I know that most GPs are good but it is frustrating when you get a bad one who is lazy and doesnt communicate.

Glad to have you guys here for support 🙏
My dad has gone onto palliative care.
All our lives are up in the air, trying to juggle everything, taking things one day at a time.
Dreading work's reaction when I let them know I won't be in next week (I was already off this week with leave as it happened). They were hit and miss when my nana was ill/died. Faux empathy and an unpleasant appraisal on my birthday, as if the whole thing was my fault because I didn't keep in touch daily - what was I meant to say daily? "She's still dead?"
Got good support from family and friends and appreciate you guys being here, sending hugs and strength to all xxx

@ElderlyDilemmas what a pain about the reminder. Thankfully the District nurses did the blood test. She used to have the jab at our local community hospital five minutes away but the nurse there retired. It’s completely bonkers if you ask me, apparently the GP surgery has to sign up to something called ‘shared care’ and ours hasn’t.

What a pain @BestIsWest . My mum has her denosumab at the GP surgery, but has to first book and get blood tests, then get the surgery to order the injection to the pharmacy, then pick it up and take it round to the surgery for the injection. She doesn't get a prompt or reminder for any of this so I have to put it in my diary. Both are within 5 mins walk of her house and she is fully mobile but the logistics are complicated for her as she is losing short term memory fast. I have to say her GP surgery and pharmacy are good, they see her quickly when needed and seem to do a thorough assessment (she shows me her NHS login notes afterwards) and she is now getting regular check-ins with the social prescriber. I wish DF was still registered with them, his CH is only up the road but is with a different practice so he has had to change.

A shout out to my GP practice too. I’m trying to get DMs Denosumab jab by the district nurses rather than a two hour round trip to hospital. I’m not capable of of getting her into the car at the moment and they are there twice a week dressing her leg. What an administrative pile of poo. It’s not possible for some reason but at least the GP is trying and rang me for a long chat about DM. Seems I’ll need to involve the ambulance service.

Or dump it on DB.

@GnomeDePlume and everyone else who needs one ☕

I need to give a shout out to our GP surgery. DH is poorly, thought he was getting a cold but by yesterday afternoon I reckoned it's a chest infection. He called the GP late afternoon who said come in for 8am and we'll get you seen. Arrived in the carpark a few minutes before 8. They phoned to check he was ok to come in and when he said he was in the carpark they opened up to let him. If only mum's surgery actually answered the phone/responded to messages!

Delurking to send hugs and specially to @GnomeDePlume and @Foodfumbles . Today I am taking time to do my hair and make up not like yesterday when I ran out the door looking like a madwoman.

I applied for Council funding for DER in November, and a move to nursing care. Since February the Social Worker has been promising "updates". It's 15th April and no decision yet.
Come on though, let's put our brave faces on and sparkle.

@GnomeDePlume That sounds utterly unreasonable and you have to feel for the CH nurse who sounds to be trying to keep your DM comfortable. You would think at the very least they'd advise on exactly what food she should have/avoid etc. It sounds like your DM is at least free of distress so hopefully that will continue.

CH got a call back from the GP, advice was to be 'careful' with what DM eats or drinks. Whatever the hell that means, CH nurse none the wiser and annoyed with GP. GP is ordering blood tests to be run.

This is just prevarication by the GP who is, in my opinion, chronically lazy. The CH gives the GP a set of patients who he doesnt actually do anything for, leaving everything to CH nurses or carers. If a doctor is actually needed he farts around until the OOH service takes over.

DM was put on palliative then EOL care without the GP seeing her in person.

This is the problem of a CH being tied to a particular GP. If there is a problem with the GP, the residents arent allowed to register with a different practice.

Thank you all ascites looks like a good call. No other swelling except abdomen.

DM isnt in any distress at the moment. She was a couple of weeks ago but at the moment she is sleeping for around 90-95% of the time. DM is pretty immobile now, she has an air mattress which stops bed sores.

GP has been contacted and sent a nurse out who pressed DM's stomach (which was uncomfortable for DM) but didnt venture an opinion. GP was expected to call back but hasnt so far.

No worries @ElderlyDilemmas it was a good suggestion.

I'm sorry @GnomeDePlume I wasn't sure whether she was in a CH. Sending

It does sound like ascites, Gnome.
That would be secondary to your mother's kidney failure.

Is the syringe driver in situ yet?

Are you able to advocate for its insertion, if not? At this stage, management of distress is essential.
This includes distress caused by pain or worsening symptoms.

Is it worth restarting the water tablets? Might require a catheter though. Difficult to find the balance at EoL. Thinking of you @GnomeDePlume

It sounds like it might be ascites @GnomeDePlume. There is a section here. If her diuretics have been stopped and her kidneys are failing she might not be processing much urine so the fluid is collecting. Are her legs also swollen? My dad’s were when he was dying of heart and kidney failure.

The fluid can be drained off but, if it’s ascites, it will likely re accumulate if the kidneys are failing. I am not sure what is appropriate when someone is EOL but her GP and the CH should be advising you.

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/professionals/palliative-care-knowledge-zone/oedema-lymphoedema-ascites