Does this kind of care home even exist.. MNetters please help

Can you speak to a local admiral nurse to get the lowdown on what’s available

Have a look at CQC website and get it to list homes in authorities local to you (you can filter out according to ratings if you like), and then you are looking for a residential home which takes dementia patients. Many residential homes have a wing specifically for dementia. Read CQC reports, look on individual homes’ websites. Once you’ve found some you think maybe suitable you can ring the homes, have a brief chat around your dad’s needs, length of waiting lists etc and visit any which look promising. One question to ask is whether family members can visit at any time, and around activities. Regarding the cycling - if you dad is admitted to dementia care, he won’t be able to go out alone. There should be organised trips, and exercise classes in the home plus possible walking with a member of staff in the grounds.

When the time comes that one may be able to admit your dad, a member of staff will see him and do an assessment to make sure they would be able to meet his needs.
Be warned - this will be expensive and they will want to know your dad is able to self-fund for two years.

The home my parents were in was owned by Sunrise but they sold to Care UK around 4 years ago. I preferred the home initially under Sunrise but the change of ownership also coincided with issues around Brexit and many good staff were lost. I think the home is still rated good (my parents no longer around).

Yeah, my Mil is in one. She was quite difficult at the point she went into care.

You need a residential specialist EMI home. Even better if it's dual-registered as a nursing home as the agitated behaviour is a nursing need and he'll likely decline to that level.

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Relative was in one they had lots activities to engage the more able residents.
Expensive but pleasant
Visit care homes op they all will offer various levels of activity support individual to eg cycle on a machine etc

My father is in an independent care home which specialises in dementia care. My father is mobile (has a walker because he's at risk of falls) and is able to socialise. He is able to wash and dress himself. He does require someone to give him the right medication at the right time as he cant remember when or if hes taken his medication. He's in the wing with people with low nursing needs and varying degrees of dementia. There is another wing for people who have higher nursing needs and finally a wing for palliative care. He has a lovely big ensuite room with a view of the garden. He can go into the garden whenever he wants, there's a large and varied programme of activities and they go out for lunch at a local pub, to craft fairs, theatre etc will full staff support. He does more there than he ever did at home! It's not in your area but they do exist so hopefully you'll find what you need.

I think that there are many care homes suitable for what you're looking for. However, you will have to look at a lot to find the one that is suitable for his specific needs and preferences. Visit at lunch time if you can!

In my experience (I looked at about 15 homes) those that are not part of a chain usually have a better feel and possibly a more stable staff team. In the end the one I felt had the best atmosphere and a manager who I really felt was in tune with the residents was a bit shabby. It's turned out that that hasn't mattered at all.

There's a group of 8-10 residents (out of 30) who are quite capable of having a chat, doing a crossword together or taking a stroll in the lovely garden. The gardener also engages them regularly in his eccentric projects and takes small groups out in the minibus. Others there have more advanced dementia. Manager still there 5 years later.

What I liked about Badby Park - and I should be honest that we took mum out very quickly after hitting a bit of a wall with them - was that to me, the money wasn’t going on stuff Mum couldn’t use. It wasn’t one of those places with a cinema room and a bar, both empty all the time, but they do have specialist staff - a psychiatrist, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a social worker. That’s much more important. Our relationship with the ward team eventually broke down but I’ll be honest, I don’t really think that was their fault, or certainly not all their fault. They were too far away from us as well - nothing replaces being able to see your relative and their situation frequently and to have frequent brief conversations. The staff were difficult to speak to, never initiated contact with us, the specialists didnt seem to have enough input and information seemed limited generally, but if we’d been on site more often, especially if we’d been able to go midweek, most of that wouldn’t have been an issue. It’s a beautiful spacious setting which makes a big difference. But just being in a place where the team understand what has happened to your relative is amazing.

My mum was in a 'nursing' home but it catered for all different abilities and conditions, it had a floor for dementia, a floor for those with medical needs and a floor for those that just needed more support.

Physically fit/mobile but cognitively impaired, getting aggressive and a future of progression ahead - it’s a tough situation, solidarity.

My mother spent a couple of years in Badby Park care centre. Their specialism is neurological disorders. They emphasise their rehab side but they also do long term care.

It’s nowhere near the area you want but you could ring them and ask if there is somewhere like that in your area?

I would ask the same question on local social media - there will be certain to be someone whose been in the same boat.
I’d be cautious of downplaying any violence/aggression though. The residential home my relative was in was happy to have “delightfully dotty” behaviour but anything that’d have put staff or other residents at risk would have been a swift eviction, and then you’ll be back to square one, possibly at very short notice. Good luck.

My MIL's was, despite her having funds. Hers was an urgent referral for different reasons, but OP's mum having to leave her home in order to keep herself safe, should trigger a similar respite period.

It might be that things have changed in the last couple of years, but that certainly was what happened with MIL. She didn't pay a thing until the respite period ended.

Obviously the referral has to come from SS or the NHS, though.

I can’t recommend a specific care home but nursing homes which have dementia residents have people who very enormously. Some may be bed bound but communicative, others may wander constantly but not speak at all. Others may seem quite ‘normal’ when you first meet them but after a while you realise that e.g. they think they are working there or are waiting to go home when that isn’t the case.
I say this kindly, and with experience of this, but I think perhaps that you are in denial about the severity of your dad’s situation. As others have said, if your mother is not safe at home and he needs help supporting himself, he does need a proper residential care/nursing home. My advice would be to find a nursing home which has dementia patients as things can change quite quickly with dementia and you don’t want to have to move him from one home to another. There is a clear difference between nursing and care homes but you are better to plan for the future.

My lovely friend was in a really nice nursing home and she settled in well. She went just in time as things only get harder and it’s better to get someone settled earlier rather than later.

It’s really tough, I know.

The advice to contact adult social care is good but nothing will be free if they have money above the threshold.

Have you contacted adult social care? When my MIL reached this stage, she was found a respite placement which was free of charge for six weeks. Your MIL having to move out would indicate that she needs respite.

Fortunately the care home that she spent the respite period in, was excellent, and they had a vacancy when the respite period expired. So it was a seamless transition. She self funded from that point.

Whereabouts are you OP? Have loads of advice for my area, but obvs not further afield.

Also is he a self funder? The house doesn’t count as presumably DM will move back in.

Should add what you want absolutely exists. You’re describing common issues within dementia.

look at Hallmark luxury care homes. They’re caring after a relative of mine, but not cheap

You need to look for a residential home not nursing

This keeps popping up on my Facebook feed. They find the right care home for your needs, apparently.

lottie.org/

Your clearly googling the wrong thing. There are actually very few nursing homes. The vast majority of care homes are residential homes that offer social, personal and dementia care.

We crossed posts.

I agree with this. He is also likely to deteriorate very quickly outside the home environment.

There are further care facilities (apartments) and abbeyfield but i think his behaviour now would be getting close to their ceiling of care.
He needs a residential EMI care home. Many EMI homes and residential care and nursing in separate wings.
I think you need to be realistic that he is not going to be going out and about on his bike, or otherwise, without you or your mum any more.
Is your dad compliant with this move, will he need a DOLS, and be at the stage to have one?