Does this kind of care home even exist.. MNetters please help

My DM with Alzh. spent 8 years at the Abbeyfield dementia-only only care home in New Malden. We were very pleased with it. It was purpose built for dementia, and has a good-sized level garden. All the rooms (36 IIRC) are ensuite.
DM died there in 2015, but I would hope it’s still as good. Certainly worth a look.

TBH it sounds the sort of thing your relative would need.

Walton park care home is one recommendation

This is really important. What many don’t realise is that it’s not just the family selecting the care home, it’s also the care home assessing the potential resident to see if they can meet their needs. Money is pretty secondary to this.

Having gone through this with my DM I cannot stress enough to look for something suitable beyond the next few months.
My DM was originally in a care home for a year but had to be moved due to her challenging behaviour and advancing Alzheimer’s. She’s now in a very small nursing home with a mix of people. As a previous poster said many are very mobile but verbally aggressive to staff, some immobile and don’t speak and many other combinations.
I viewed 11 homes and finding one that would accept my DM with her aggressive behaviour was a struggle.

Remember the “top up” has to be a 3rd party top up. Can’t be his money as that will already have been taken into account for the assessment of what he has to contribute.
the 3rd party top up would have to be other family members. DO NOT sign anything committing yourself to a top up. You don’t have to. If and when social services end up funding they have to find somewhere that can meet his needs and you are not obliged to top up. (He will have to contribute a significant amount of his private pension but that’s different).

and don’t hold out any hope of NHS continuing care.

can highly recommend the burlington in shepperton. Also moore place in esher a friends mum was at and was very happy with their care

Be careful with the top-ups, it’s complicated but the person’s income is for the most part already taken into account with council funding and is not allowed to be used as a top-up, this has to come from a third party (usually a family member). I can’t explain it very well but Age UK have good advice. If your Mum relies on your Dad’s pension some of it can still go to her.

www.ageuk.org.uk/siteassets/documents/factsheets/fs10_paying_for_permanent_residential_care_fcs.pdf

Please also consider your DMs quality of life. She shouldn’t have to sofa surf at her age birder to accommodate your DF.
How did SS become involved?

Has anyone mentioned Whiteleys Village to you OP. The mother of a friend was cared for very well through her later years, and into dementia. They are just off the A3 at Esher, I think.

www.whiteleyshometrust.org

Hope that's helpful. Best if luck with your search and doing the best you can for your parents.

My stepfather was in a dementia care home with this set up but all the residents were together. Some were very severe, others much less so and took part in a wide range of activities. All had a DOLs as they were locked in. It means that as residents needs escalate they do not have the issue of being moved elsewhere at the time when they need as much consistency as possible.

Sounds like you need extra care. It’s independent living but with care on site. Much better than a nursing home if he isn’t at that stage!

I visited a lot with DM around and about Guildford area. Most of the more modern ones had three levels of care, and three levels of building. So bottom floor, healthy, mobile, not too many issues, able to come and go as they wished. Middle floor, bit more supervision required, more help, less able, but still integrated with the bottom floor for meals and entertainment. Top floor, really poorly, 24/7 nursing care and supervision, locked doors.

I think you will struggle here.

Most care homes want 2 years of funds available for self funding. They are unlikely to accept him if he only has a few months of funds.

The issue is when his money runs out social care would have to take over funding - and at the moment it sounds like they have only assessed him as needing 3* care calls a day, so won't fund 24 hour care.

You could ask social care if they could increase to 4* visits a day (usually thats around the max before they look at care) and potentially fit a canary type system to look at if he is using the house safely between care calls. This would support a need for 24 hour care.

You also need to (realistically) look only at care homes on social cares contracted list - thats probably available on your local council website, as otherwise he would have to move once his funds ran out. Even with homes on this list, many will be subject to 3rd party top up.

A good residential home might be able to meet his needs but if he is unpredictably aggressive it might have to be dementia nursing.

It's horribly disruptive though OP to settle him somewhere that works for now, and then having to move him on again especially as his dementia progresses.

Rodwell House is Chertsey way. Looked after a relative of mine but with very different care needs.
I think you need to bite the bullet, get a list from the council and then visit them. And if you find one you like, hope they have space.

I don't think you will find any home willing to take a self funder who can only afford it for 3 months, surely?

The other thing to bear in mind is funding. I think you said your father's funds would last a few months? When the LEA take over funding you may well find that to keep your father at the home you've chosen requires top up funds. Not many homes accept the low LEA funding rates. Do investigate this before choosing somewhere.

Try looking on carehome.co.uk - you can specify the area you are looking for, plus that you need dementia care and it will show you the available options. You'll be able to see pictures, read descriptions and in many cases see approximate costs - plus you can see genuine reviews from residents and relatives. That should enable you to get a shortlist of possibilities - then get in touch and see if you can arrange to drop in and view the place, talk to the manager etc. There absolutely will be somewhere suitable - in your dad's case it sounds like safe access to a good amount of outdoor space might be important to help him settle in? I know it probably feels overwhelming right now, so hang in there.

I also have a relative at a Hallmark Care Home, and highly recommended them.
They have separate floors in the homes for people who have dementia or need nursing care.

I don't quite understand why you think there isn't much available to meets your dad's needs. Pretty much every residential care home has a dementia wing. My own mother was in a care home specialising in dementia. It was built on 3 levels. She entered at ground floor level where the residents needed the lowest level of care. When she deteriorated and needed more care, hoists, etc she was moved to the first floor. She died there so I never got to see what residents on the top floor were like, poor things. There wasn't interaction between the levels so she was always with people at a similar level of cognitive function as herself. My understanding was that this sort of compartmentalising was entirely the norm in dementia care homes these days.

Im sorry I can't help with your specific area but I thought this type of home was pretty ubiquitous.