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Elderly parents
Original poster

Unsure what help is available

29 replies

Frustrated1974 · 05/03/2026 12:53

DF has been released from hospital using a walker in the house and has limited use of his left hand side. He’s also been left unable to move in and out of bed independently. He has been referred for investigations into urinary incontinence and needs the loo 5+ times a night. DM is expected to deal with this at nighttime and carers come in twice a day to help him get washed and dressed. I’m doing what I can during the day to help give DM a break but I can’t at nighttime. Where do I start looking for help? What should I even be looking for? Is it reasonable for DM to be left to care for DF overnight when he’s like this?

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/03/2026 14:51

Has he had difficulties before the hospital admission and would he qualify for Attendance Allowance to help finance additional carer visits, help and adaptations. SS and OT are places to start for assessments into care needs.

cherrytree12345 · 05/03/2026 14:39

We have experienced similar problems recently with MIL but she lives alone. After being called through her lifeline multiple times after falls and us having to drive over and pick her up. At the last fall, I hurt my back. We then contacted our local social services and we had emergency help. Carers are now calling 4 times a day, reducing to 3 shortly. She has a commode and incontinence pants. They were very helpful

ProfessorBinturong · 05/03/2026 14:34

If he's needing night care, he should be able to claim higher rate attendance allowance regardless of income and savings.

ProfessorBinturong · 05/03/2026 14:31

Did he have an OT and PT assessment before discharge? He shouldn't have been sent home without discussion of care needs. I assume the twice daily carers are a result of this but if not and he has been discharged without an assessment of current needs and they've changes since his pre-admission needs, I'd contact the hospital first.

Adult social services can also arrange an assessment of updated needs. If he has more than £23,000 in savings (including half of any savings in joint names but not including the house value) he'll need to self fund but social services can help you find agencies.