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Elderly parents

Night time phone calls

52 replies

Chelmew · 04/03/2026 08:55

90 yr old DF In good health. lives alone. Carers come in to give meds and make a sandwich- I do all other life admin- i have posted about him before
Following assessment from doctor he's in really goods health (for his age) No dementia - just age related cognitive decline.

Our main issue currently is his lack of time awareness- eg. last night he phoned at 1.30 am wondering where his lift was. - he was being picked up at 1.30 pm. We have tried dementia clocks which say night time/day time etc - he can tell me what time it is but he doesn't believe what the clock is saying - also its dark outside but he can't seem to relate that to the time of day.

My concern is that he has started going out on his own at night eg to the corner shop thinking its day time which is dangerous. (Also that he is phoning me in the middle of the night to tell me the shop is shut and i am knackered !!)
Anyone else experienced this and has any useful strategies to manage it?

Thanks

OP posts:
janietreemore · 04/03/2026 09:10

Frankly I think the doctor is wrong. This is classic dementia behaviour. The tests offered by GPs are incredibly basic. Sorry but he may need more help than he has now. Medication may help. Ask to see a different doctor.

Dearg · 04/03/2026 09:06

Have seen this with two elderly relatives and a near neighbour, but in each case, dementia had been diagnosed.

Re strategies: my neighbours daughter endured many sleepless nights taking phone calls. She tried the am/pm clock; large notes on the door - ‘If it’s still dark you are too early Dad’ I think was one of them Sadly nothing changed and he was admitted to a home.

MIL used to call at night from her mobile, usually by accident as she was playing with it. Again, that only stopped when she went into a home, and they put her mobile in a drawer overnight.

Sorry, I have no answers really.

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