What's the best way to help a parent with a passport

Dear mum do as you are told or I am out.

It does sound very much as if she has cognitive decline @TrayofRoses in which case it’s impossible to have a sensible conversation about anything, especially when their pre dementia character was also ornery as heck. I had a fun conversation with DF about why a 5 year out of date passport photo could not be used as proof of ID, where he seemed to think that I was personally making up the rules to be belligerent.

If it’s not just a repeat passport I think she needs to get someone to validate the photos as being her. If that step is required you could line someone up to be the fall guy not to sign it off - if it’s someone like a GP particularly a male one, then she might be more inclined to accept that. Or failing that just do what she asks and submit it with the ridiculous photo. The photo criteria is very strict so unless it meets all the background requirements it will more than likely fail an online submission or just bung it all to the post office for them to decline and then either she will be more amenable to doing what is needed or she will have moved on to some other crusade.

Just take her to the Post Office with completed application form and old passport and they do everything, including taking new photos.

Oh dear op this does not sound a happy situation.

Why does she need a new passport?

Simply ‘I will help you apply online for a new passport. You need a picture lesson than one month old. I can take it or you can get
one from the shop. If you won’t do this I run I cannot help you. You cannot use an old
photograph. It is against the passport rules”

just to clarify though- you don’t need an app. I’m unsure why she went to the chemist.

max speilamnn is your best best

A passport is very handy @TrayofRoses for ID purposes we have found. If you don't have a driving licence. Mum needed ID recently for her solicitor and that's why we got her one.

So I don't know why she wants to update her passport

Surely you asked her why she wants one when she suggested you help her???

Just tell her you need to go to a certain shop to get the photos these days and that they send it in. There's no point arguing with her. Get the picture sorted before you do anything else. If she doesn't do that just forget it. The whole point of renewing a passport is to have an up to date picture. I'd love to look 22 but I'm 42!

it sound like she has cognitive issues. Sadly that means she'll be very hard to reason with.

This is one of the markers my MIL doctor signposted as dementia (frontal lobe, vascular and Alzheimers in her case).

She doesn't want to use an up to date pic, because it IS NOT HER in the picture, it is an old lady. MIL was the same with her blue badge pic.

It sounds very tricky, but it does make me laugh that she thinks she can use a photo that is 60yrs old! 😆

Do you live close by? I'd take her to a photo shop or other place that takes passport photos and they can tell her the rules. No- you can't smile, neutral expression etc etc. I wouldn't be bothering to take pics with my own phone!

Out of interest, where does she want to travel to and would she be going alone? Does she have friends or other family that could also back up that the rules have changed and have a word with her?

That sounds very difficult @TrayofRoses Honestly if my mother argued like that I'd let her sort it out for herself.

I took my mother to Timpsons because I couldn't get a decent enough picture on my phone. For he price of the picture we also got a code which we used to upload it onto the online application. It was very easy. A friend of hers did the digital equivalent of signing the back of the picture and the whole thing was done and the new passport in her possession within a week.

Your mum is being really bloody difficult and I send sympathy and solidarity as mine is occasionally the same! 💐

Stop 'suggesting'. And don't get involved in arguments.

"This is the rule."

"But whyyyyy?"

"Because the government says so. Now do you want my help or not? If you argue, I'm going home."

Then if she argues, go home.

I don't think you can use old pictures anymore, you have to get pictures taken and they give you a code to add to your application or you upload a picture from your phone.

Well the rules are the picture must be less than a month old, so she submits to getting a new one or you don’t help her get a passport?

I would let her get on with it herself then.

I'd only agree to help, if she was going to be cooperative.

As she has a history of being difficult about it, I'd only get involved on condition she doesn't argue with you about how it's done. You don't make suggestions, you tell her the rules. If she argues - even once - you don't help. And one of your rules is that she gets a photo taken by Timpsons (or similar service where they guarantee a suitable one).

OP, just take a picture of her against a blank wall and upload it. They give you instructions for what it has to be like. It’s really easy!