It’s nearing the end and I am so scared !

I am so sorry she has gone but I am so pleased you were with her.

I'm so sorry. Your lovely mum mum is now at peace, she knew you were with her and that you love her as she loves you. 💐

Oh @Marvellousmeadows you've made me cry. Your last post is so wonderful. She knew she was so loved and she loved you so much. There is no greater thing in this life. I am so sorry for your loss as she goes on her next journey and I wish I could hug you.

@Marvellousmeadows I am so sorry you have lost your dm. It sounds like she was surrounded by love when she went, which is really all we can ask for 💐

I’m so sorry she’s gone OP. But I’m really happy you were there and that she was at peace and with you. Sending you lots of warmth and hugs 🌺

Life will never be the same again once she has gone but you are her daughter and she has given you the strength to carry on, to cope with her not being physically here with you. She will always walk beside you, will always hold your hand and will always love you.

I’ve recently had this with my dad. Thinking of you.

@Marvellousmeadowsthinking of you! So glad she’s peaceful at the moment and you’re there together xxxx

My mother died just over a week ago. It’s very hard but there was a very strong sense of her being liberated from her body which had become a burden. I hope your lovely Mum finds the same peace, and you too 💐

I read In Blackwater Woods by Mary Oliver on that day and I’ll read it at her funeral.

This is so true. I sat with my darling Mum for 7 hours without moving an inch. My phone had long since been out of battery, so I turned away to get a charger out of my bag and the little bugger took her opportunity to slip away in those 30 seconds that I had let go of her hand!!

💐Still thinking of you and your lovely mum.

You are doing well. This stage is so so hard. Do you have support from family and friends?

So sorry for what you are going through. With my dear Dad I was lucky to have sat with him the night before he died, held his hand and said my goodbyes and told how much I loved him just in case he didn't make it through the night. So glad I did.
With dear mum it was so very different she was in a care home and it was just a normal day and I going to visit her as usual when I turned up they told me she had passed away about an hour before. It was such a shock and didn't have the chance to have a last conversation to say anything I needed to say so was very hard. She was going down hill but not enough for them to be worried about her. The only comfort I have is she slipped away in her sleep. Sending my love to you during this time

My heart breaks for you. I have been where you are now. 💔Like others posters have said, you will find the strength somehow inside of you to get through it, even though it hurts like hell.

Losing my Mum is one of the hardest things I have gone through and in those early days it was physically painful and I actually doubted whether I would come back from it. But I did. I found the strength to deliver the eulogy at her funeral and to support my adult DD's through losing their lovely Nanna.

Life without her initially was very very hard but each day got slightly better and somewhere along the line something shifted. Instead of feeling grief I felt gratitude. I was immensely grateful that I had her for as long as I did, and for all the moments in life she had supported me through. I was grateful SHE was MY Mum. And I remember thinking of all the things she taught me and how very much she would hate me to be unhappy. She would want so much for me to be free of grief and to live my life so I did.

Once I reached that turning point it became easier and I could think of her and smile and laugh and with fondness.

Please spend some time with her, talk to her, talk about memories you have and hold her hand. You will be grateful you were there when all this is over and you will get through this, I promise. 🌹

My brother and I were with our parents when they died. Dad died when we left the room for a few minutes- I like to believe that was his choice, and it certainly was in keeping with the kind of man he was (private, stoic). Mum on the other hand, died while we were right there with her, holding her hands, telling her we loved her and that it was ok to let go.

Just remember there is always someone here on mumsnet to listen.

This is the scariest bit- the anticipation. Afterwards, it’s sad and bewildering and can be lonely. You might get feelings of anger or guilt, and feelings of despair- but you will get through it. I lost my parents 13 years ago and I was terrified that I simply couldn’t survive it but I did, of course.

Depending on the situation/illness etc, people can look really awful at the end. My poor Mum was less than 5 stone and her appearance- and her suffering- was very upsetting. Those images stayed with me for a while after she was gone- but they DID go eventually. Now I have to work quite hard to recall those memories, whereas memories of her as her younger self, fit and healthy and happy are the memories I see the most.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s incredibly tough. 💐

I was with my mum when she died. She had cancer so it was just “life drawing peacefully to a close”. She definitely heard what I had to say (I gave an account of dinner last night which was a bit entertaining) and then she died.

I will never forget the intimacy of the moment. I found it profoundly intimate.

That being said, plenty of people wait until you are just gone for a wee or something and take the opportunity to slip away in private so, if that’s what happens, just be aware she made her choices to the end.

When my grandma died, my mum sat with her through the night holding her hand and talking to her. In the morning, she rallied slightly and opened her eyes and asked my mum why she’d come so early and there was no need because a lovely nurse had sat with her all night talking to her. It’s true what the above poster is saying about the natural order of things. I’m a mother and I couldn’t hope for a better ending than a grown up daughter sitting with me when I leave this world. We have to be grateful for the natural order of life however hard it is. Her life’s work will have been you and the fact you’re there right now will be bringing her happiness and comfort.

Thank you so much for sharing this. It really resonated with me. My mother passed away unexpectedly in November 2025. She had dementia but it didn’t appear to have been life-threatening. Her passing threw me for a six even though I’d been through hell in the year prior because of her condition (she hid it). But you are right, it is the natural order and I know that but it was something else to read it. Oddly comforting.

OP, I am very sorry you are going through this. As this poster has said, it will help you and your mum feel better if you go to the nursing home and tell her you love her.

My mother went into hospital for a minor lung infection (out of an abundance of care from the care home), and ended up unconscious and on oxygen in three days. She was in another country so when I was told that she had fallen unconscious, I went to a church (I am not Christian but it was beautiful and quiet) and told her that I would be fine and that she should go if that’s what she wanted, and that she didn’t need to hang around for me and that I would be ok. It was a really terrible and peaceful dialog at the same time. She passed away peacefully about four hours later. I like to think she heard me.

I didn’t intend to write such a lengthy post, but I’ll leave what I wrote, because I just wanted to say I and many others here can understand your anguish but you will be ok, and spend as much time with her now for both your sakes.

You have been fortunate to have a lovely mother, from what you’ve said, and that’s an incredible thing, in this difficult world. I wish you the best.

Although it’s the hardest thing we go through I honestly believe we are wired in a way to accept the death of our parents and carry on living .
I mean it’s the natural course of events (unless early/traumatic loss)
But a life well lived into old age with love is what we all hope for snd I have found with recent losses there is comfort in that .