Page 4 | AIBU To think carers should get the person dressed in the morning

notgivinga · 2026-01-17T09:22:55+00:00

Just that really it’s my MIL so really not my place to say, but she sits all day in her pyjamas. I just think it would be so much better for her mentally to get dressed. Thoughts?

Lulumona · 17/01/2026 09:46

In my experience they are in and out as quickly as they can

hatgirl · 17/01/2026 09:46

notgivinga · 17/01/2026 09:38

It’s not my DM it’s my DMIL the carers come full time for most of the week and the weekends are the children caring for her. When my husband cares for her he manages to get her dressed, so I’m not sure why no one else can ?

He's probably not limited to a 30 minute time slot and it matters to him if his mum gets dressed or not, and she knows and trusts him.

Would you agree to get dressed with a different stranger every weekday? Or would you just stay comfy in your jammies if it was an option?

Talltreesbythelake · 17/01/2026 09:42

Because they are lazy. It's that simple. If she was in a nursing home they would get her up and dressed because the manager would be on at them if they didn't. They can say she doesn't want to, but they should have skills to cajole her. Like you say, it would lift her mood to be dressed. What about when she has visitors, isn't she embarrassed to be still in her nightwear?

Coffeeishot · 17/01/2026 09:42

notgivinga · 17/01/2026 09:38

It’s not my DM it’s my DMIL the carers come full time for most of the week and the weekends are the children caring for her. When my husband cares for her he manages to get her dressed, so I’m not sure why no one else can ?

Has he contacted the care company and asked what the issue is ?

Coffeeishot · 17/01/2026 09:41

Does she want dressed? They can't physically force her to get dressed i am assuming she gets clean pyjamas at some point she is maybe comforble unless her family want to go and insist she puts clothes on there isn't much you can do.

Original poster

notgivinga · 17/01/2026 09:38

It’s not my DM it’s my DMIL the carers come full time for most of the week and the weekends are the children caring for her. When my husband cares for her he manages to get her dressed, so I’m not sure why no one else can ?

OP posts:

Soontobe60 · 17/01/2026 09:33

The carers will be following a contract, but as others have said, it’s up to your DM whether or not she’s happy for them to help her get dressed. If she says no, they obviously can’t force her. What does your DM say about it?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 17/01/2026 09:32

How often do the carers come? For my mum, it was three times a day and in the morning, they got her up, helped her with toileting, washed her, blow dried her hair if it was a hair washing day, cleaned her teeth, got her dressed and moved her from bedroom to living room. Alongside this, they chatted to her and checked well-being/state of mind/pain levels, etc. At bedtime, similar routine backwards iyswim.

She loved her carers 🥺

thedevilinablackdress · 17/01/2026 09:31

"No I'm fine, just leave it" Was DMs response to most carer offers. Apart from tea.

Iamacatslave · 17/01/2026 09:28

My mother wouldn’t allow her carers to dress her.

Smartiepants79 · 17/01/2026 09:27

Will she let them?? Are they asking/trying?
My Granny often just refused, she didn’t have the energy. She could get quite stroppy. So they made sure she was clean and warm and left her. They did try every day.

Summerhillsquare · 17/01/2026 09:26

Perhaps she refuses. But yes, that's usually part of the role of paid carers.