No driving for rural(ish) 86 yo mum ...

I'm late to the party, but my mother has remained much more independent in a supported living place than she was at home. Floors are level, doors are wide, there's a decent sized and well maintained lift etc. She also came from a rural property. I've read your update and I am pleased she is open to the idea.

My mother was also forced to give up driving due to her eyesight, and although she could and did use taxis, even now she'll say how that loss of independence was jarring. Her car was collected from her drive by the garage who sold it on her behalf. She's told me she cried when it went. You sound so kind and considerate to your mum so I'm sure you don't need reminding, but this is definitely a time to let her express her feelings around the losses that come with ageing.

I have seen a few of these locally and it looks like a franchise so I don't know if there is similar near your Mum? https://drivingmissdaisy.co.uk/

As @Thewardrobehashangersin said look for community transport. This can vary per area however where I live there is a dial a ride for anyone to use, albeit only weekdays until 5 and a service for older people. This is actually better than my parents urban area where there are bus services but too far from her house to walk to.

check out as well what uber coverage you have if any. Try some trips with your mum so you get a feel for how realistic it is to get a ride. Look for a local firm too however, as someone upthread said too, around me there are one man bands and you are relying on them being available.

care agencies will also take elderly
people out. You will need a longer slot and someone your mum is comfortable
with. It isn’t cheap, I think we are paying £32 per hour possibly more, but if your parent has someone for companionship like mine does, then they may as well leave the house as stay in.

it’s all a change and a reminder of growing old, however with the suggestions above and online shopping you may make it work without moving.

Mobility scooters are brilliant. For people who can see! (And have decent cognition, reaction times etc.)

The main concern about mobility scooters is that the reason the OP's mother has stopped driving is because of poor and deteriorating eyesight. The standards seem to be lower for mobility scooters, but to be honest, I think being able to see well should be a requirement. There's a couple of mobility scooter users in my small village and they can go pretty fast. If not able to see properly they could be a real danger to others and themselves.

Sorry, I’ve not read the whole thread so apologies if I’m repeating anything anyone else has already said. Some PPs appear to be dismissive of mobility scooters. I know many people who have used them safely and if your mum is in an area where she could safely use it, contact a company locally who provide mobility scooters (Goggle) to maybe go and have a look and try one out? Many towns and shopping centres have shop mobility schemes where you can hire them for a few hours.

I know someone who also says she likes going out to do the shopping but struggles to actually do the shop due to mobility. I'm trying to persuade her to have an online shop for boring regular stuff like baked beans and toilet roll and then she can still have a wander round and choose bits and pieces she wants. Then she's not trying to push a trolley with a whole week or two of shopping but still gets out of the shop. I haven't succeeded yet but I will keep trying.... I think she associates shopping delivery with 'meals on wheels' type services however much I tell her how common it is for working people to get supermarket deliveries.

I'm not quite 60 yet and have told DH that we will be moving into a lovely flat near shops when I can find the right one, probably within the next three to five years. My DM has just had to give up driving about four months ago and she can't go anywhere at all independently. She lives on a narrow road with no footpath on the side of a mountain. Her driveway is so steep that she can barely walk up it, let alone make it to a neighbour's house. She doesn't want to leave the house because she has lived there since I was a baby and created an amazing garden out of what was just a field. Fortunately she has plenty of money so she has people coming in who can take her places like fun outings or appointments, but it's still not ideal.

OP, if your DM is willing to move then I would encourage her to do it and help her find somewhere that will be easier to keep some independence. If not, and she can afford it, then perhaps see if she can have someone to come in and help her. Not to be a carer, my Mum doesn't really need personal care yet either, but if she knew that she had, say, three hours on each of two afternoons a week then she could schedule her life around that. My DM has a cleaner four mornings a week and then two different women who come on Monday or Friday afternoons. So she gets to do things she enjoys like going Christmas shopping or to garden centres or having someone sit and wrap presents with her while chatting.

My MIL lives in retirement accommodation, I know a lot of older people are resistant to this but honestly it has been really positive for her. The social aspect is great for someone who is not very mobile (my MIL is in a wheelchair).

it sounds like her days of living independently are numbered, sadly. The workload to keep her in her current house is going to go up exponentially as she gets less able.

It's sometimes more difficult to get homecare packages in place in rural areas because of staffing pressures and the time it takes to get round clients. Also ambulance call outs can take hours.

Moving to somewhere new with failing eyesight is a lot better than moving somewhere new with no eyesight. If she's in a town she will be better able to go shopping and keep up activities without driving too.

Absolutely not a mobility scooter, for her own safety and that of others. They go about 15mph, and are much less stable and protected than a car. Someone near here died recently after going over the edge of a non-dropped kerb and being tipped into the road.

What's the cause of her eyesight problem? Something fixable like cataracts, general age-related deterioration that may not get much worse, or something like macular degeneration that will deteriorate fairly rapidly and is likely to mean full or almost full loss? Different solutions will be needed for each of these.

I'd start by doing the sums on taxis and volunteer drivers where she is, and a walk round the current house looking at what could and couldn't be adapted for both sight and mobility. That may give a clear 'need to move' or 'can stay' answer, or at least help her think about which way she's inclined.

You still need decent eyesight for a mobility scooter or electric wheelchair. You would be a danger on the road/pavement if you didn’t.

Yes, this is what I've been thinking as I read this thread!

Would you be able to pay privately for a carer/support worker a few hours a week who could run her into town etc and then look at increasing hours and tasks as her needs increase?

I'm in Worcestershire, and there is an on demand point to point minibus scheme here now that is £2.50 a journey and covers a pretty large area (and you can go outside the normal area to the hospitals), so have a look to see if there is anything in her area. Note, ours is advertised as booking on your smartphone rather like Uber, but you can phone to do so

I live in a fairly rural area with a modest market town nearby. There are a number of local schemes that help to provide transport to people in your mothers position. Some are for specific purposes such as medical appointments, other more general but will pick up from 1 or 2 villages only. Often run by volunteers they ask for a contribution for fuel but it is a lot cheaper than taxis. It is worth doing a bit of research, maybe call Citizens Advice?

Is she open to the idea of moving. It would be best to do it quickly if she is so she can familiarise herself with her new surroundings whilst she still has some sight. A sheltered or extra care sheltered place sounds suitable as there’ll be support and companionship on site but be aware of service charges and how long it might take to re-sell.

My Mum drove until she was 89. By then her insurance was nearly £1000. She had no claims and lives in a low risk area. It was a lot of money given she was doing about 5 miles a week and never drove in the dark, when it was raining (it rains a lot here) and rarely drove in winter. It would pay for a lot of taxis but she now has her own chauffeur (me or her much younger brother).

Have dealt with this scenario professionally many times.
It’s good to do a few sums and show the person how many taxis they can get for the price of running a car . But yes it’s hard to lose independence.
May help a little as if you have never taken taxis they seem very expensive!

Taxis as suggested, also be prepared to help with arranging food and other deliveries. My mother had food deliveries and I knew I could step in and help arrange them, though it was never needed.

If she gets rid of her car, the money she saves will pay for a lot of taxis.....

To add to my post, I also agree that local volunteer drivers are worth looking into. Her local council or social services (or Age UK?) might be able to advise.

Typically, I seem to remember when I once had to use them due to a broken limb you were expected to pay them a mileage allowance of something like 45p per mile (could be different now as that was 10 years ago).

Also, discuss a Care 365 alarm with her. This is where she wears the call button on a wrist band or on a pendant round her neck and she can use this if she finds herself with a medical emergency or has a fall (I think it might actually have a fall sensor, but not quite sure there). My 90 year old mother has one as she is of limited mobility and lives alone (carers going in regularly though). She had to use it only a few days ago when she had a fall in the middle of the night and some paramedics visited to get her up and check her over. Care 365 sent them.

For this you would probably need a key safe on the outside of the house with a spare key hung inside it. They are opened by those who need them (carers, emergency services etc.) using a combination of letters and numbers that you, your mother and your sister can agree on and can supply to those who you trust and who would need it.

People do worry about the security of key safest and I do understand that, but my mother and several of her friends do have them and in my experience they look pretty solid and bomb proof. My mother's carers use hers daily, and the emergency services were able to get in with ease when called by Care 365 a few days ago.

All things to consider that could provide more peace of mind for all of you.

Just backing up what others have said about the cost of running a car. Do a realistic summary of what it was costing: fuel, insurance, depreciation, tax, servicing etc
It may well be that taxis are more cost efficient any way and she can use that as a monthly budget towards travel

Well done to your DM for continuing to live rurally and be so independent. I would help your DM look at how much she'd get if she sold her car - that may fund a couple of years of taxi trips. If she could use uber on her phone that may help, or there may be a company locally that you could use. I wouldn't recommend trying to decrease her outside activities (unless she wants to of course) as it'll be important for her to continue to interact with people.