Male relative late 70s faeces everywhere when using toilet

58 replies

limetrees32 · 03/01/2026 14:11

Undx yet with Alzheimer's or similar.
Using fingers when opening bowels , not wiping effectively or cleaning hands properly.
Poo on door handles ,taps , trousers.
Any advice ?

OP posts:

Pearlstillsinging · 03/01/2026 18:36

He would probably benefit from wearing incontinence pads and having a carer to help.to change and clean up. This isn't really the role of a long term partner, unless she genuinely doesn't mind.

Plankton89 · 03/01/2026 18:35

Needs an urgent dementia assessment and probably to live in a care home. It’s not safe or tolerable for others to live with.

AnnaFrith · 03/01/2026 18:34

The fact he doesn't care indicates likely dementia, with loss of normal social inhibitions. To be honest, if I was his long term partner, but we weren't married or living together, I wouldn't be dealing with this. It's only going to get worse, and he may be better off in a carehome.

NotrialNodeal · 03/01/2026 18:33

OldJohn · 03/01/2026 15:13

He probably needs to employ a cleaner who will clean up every few days.

A cleaner every few days?! Shouldn't that be after every bowel movement?

Original poster

limetrees32 · 03/01/2026 18:28

His partner is very firm and clear about pointing out what needs to be done but this has v. is limited impact .
He doesn't object or complain when his hands are inspected and he has to rewash them and /or change his trousers ,sit on a towel on the chair .
We can't understand why he ,apparently ,isn't mortified .
He's not been himse;f since a cardiac event some 6 years ago and an induced coma .And two bouts of sepis .But this is new .
Presumably the behaviour is a result of something neurological but whatever the cause it has to be coped with .
Hence looking for advice .

OP posts:

NeedForSpeedyGonzales · 03/01/2026 18:07

Stage an intervention?

Original poster

limetrees32 · 03/01/2026 18:05

He visits and stays with his life long partner every week and of course the mess is v difficult for her .
Any tips for her ?

OP posts:

OldJohn · 03/01/2026 15:13

He probably needs to employ a cleaner who will clean up every few days.

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