FIL caught drink driving

He will get a ban regardless.

Honestly op, if my DH gave money to his Dad to help him get off a drink driving charge, I’d leave him.

Jesus, I’d be absolutely mad if my husband even dreamt of spending a penny of OUR hard-earned on defending a drunk driving reprobate. He’s not even sorry for what he did- just that he got caught and it finally has consequences for him. Despite the fact it could have had DREADFUL consequences for any other road users over the years. I do t understand why you’re getting a roasting from some pps - you’re not responsible for controlling what he does and he clearly knew your feelings on the matter. It’s amazing he has the ballls to ask for help!

300 people a year die due to drunk driving.
How many relatives and friends are then affected by this?
You are not being unreasonable OP, he is a selfish cunt that deserves to be banned and further punished.

I have no sympathy for the man.
None.
Zero.
Zip.
Nada.
Nyet.

Tell your husband that his money is better spent on taxis for his dad to attend to his dear, dear sainted old mother — whom he should’ve thought about before he got in the car at the pub.

The thought just occurred to me that perhaps your husband is softening up on donating towards an attorney because he foresees a future of him becoming the taxi service.

I wouldn't be giving him a penny towards a solicitor. No money comes out of the joint account for this. If your DH wants to waste his personal money on this that's up to him but make sure he knows he's just going to be pissing money up the wall.

I'd post on the Legal section OP. There's lawyers on there who will happily tell you the technicalities of why it's not worth fighting.

“FIL now wants us to help him pay for a good solicitor ”

If he wants a good solicitor, let him pay for it. He might do well to work out how many taxi journeys he could get to DGMIL’s for the cost of the good solicitor, who most certainly won’t be pennies!

“A goodwill gesture”??? He could kill someone.

I suppose you/DH could offer to pay for a meeting with a solictor to discuss options. Just if they were/are good parents/grandparents as a goodwill gesture.. obviously what he's done is terrible and its great he's been caught but I do understand how DH feels torn, especially living away.

I'm not a lawyer but assume they'd probably advise him to plead guilty and what his likely outcomes will be - he's older and was caught both over the limit for speed and drink. So I think possibly he could have a reduced ban, but I assume he will be banned for some length of time.
But if he hears that from a solictor it'll be more official. Shouldn't be too much either for a 1hr consultation

Yup, due to this and his age, unless he's pretty comfortably off he may have driven for the last time. I assume that since he has the begging bowl out, he's not that comfortably off. Dickhead. I do feel sorry for GMIL, but contesting this is not only wrong but stupid. Not as stupid as drink driving, of course, but your FIL clearly isn't the brightest.

YaNBU at all. I know someone who was a carer for an elderly relative. It made absolutely no difference to them getting a three year ban for drink driving. FiL needs to plead guilty and take the consequences.

Such an awful position to out tou in and so fucking entitled of him.

How does your DH feel? Is he likely to help him fund a defence?

Like others have said, it’s an automatic ban anyway and the most lenient penalties go to those who plead guilty from the off.

If “D”FIL mentions money again could you suggest he sells his car to pay for a Solicitor instead?

I certainly wouldn't be helping him out and if DH did then we would be finished.

DH is angry with him, but wavering for GMIL's sake.

Sounds as if GMIL would be much better off without a son who regularly drives drunk regularly driving to her to care for her!

Is that what he wants for her?

Is that even what she wants for herself??

Choices of an adult

www.gov.uk/drink-driving-penalties

Christ. Why can't people take responsibility for their actions? He is an absolute disgrace and does not deserve to drive ever again. There simply is no excuse. He is bloody lucky he did not hurt or kill anyone.

He can save the money he would spend on a solicitor for his bus fares, selfish prick!

Not sure why he's worried about the outcome of a court case, as I can guarantee he'll be back driving whatever.

not a chance I would be giving money to him to attempt to defend it.

and truthfully, as my feelings on drunk drivers are very well known in my family, it would put a considerable strain, and very well end, my relationship if my partner gave money to someone to defend a drink driving charge.

the chances of said family member seeing me or my children again would be fairly slim. But to be honest, if they had a reputation for drink driving they wouldn't be seeing them often, and certainly never alone where driving may be a temptation in the first place

Definitely don’t waste your money and I’d advise him not to waste his either. I’ve seen many cases of people paying thousands to “specialist” solicitors who end up advising them to plead guilty on the day anyway as quite rightly there is no way of getting out of it.

No, you’re not being mean! And actually, this might be a wake-up call for the fucking irresponsible idiot! Anyone who thinks it’s acceptable to drive whilst under the influence of alcohol or drugs needs flogging IMO……..and taking to the mortuary to see the damage they do to the innocent when it all goes wrong!

He absolutely will not get out of a ban. Not in a million years. He will get a short ban and likely the opportunity to reduce this by a period of time by doing a 6 week drink drive course - possibly online.

He can throw all the money in the world at a solicitor, but he will not have a driving license when he leaves court.

Don't waste your money, he will be banned for at least one year. Even then he might struggle to get his licence reinstated at what will be at least 75 years of age when he has served out the ban for both drunk driving and speeding. I doubt very much any insurer will take the risk on him anyway after his deadly little escapade, they will simply price him out of the ability to get insurance, serves him right.