Very upset and confused

People who think you are cold do not understand what you have been through, and what your mum went through. Those of us who have been in similar situations with a parent understand perfectly how you feel. Be kind to yourself.

My mother went through very similar to yours. I had been grieving the last 2 years of her life so totally understand your feelings of relief. The people who know you will have known what you have been going through and will completely understand your feelings of relief.
Having done most of the grieving before she died allowed me to access the happy memories of how she use to be much sooner than the depths of sorrow of a sudden death so please don’t be worrying about what other people think.

@Icecreamlover63 I am sorry for your loss. Your reaction is perfectly normal. You will have been grieving long before your Mum died and it does help to spread the grief rather than having it in one big lump, if that makes sense. Your Mum is at peace and pain free which is a relief from having to watch her struggle.

Be kind to yourself and don’t worry about what other people think.

Not at all cold. Your feelings are perfectly valid and very understandable. This is both a lovely thread and a terrible thread! It reminds me how lucky I am to live in a country which has legalised euthanasia.

It sounds like she had a very peaceful end, was well cared for and saw the ones she loved. I think that sounds like a good death and I hope you can get some comfort from how she went

Thinking of you🌺

I'm glad the end was peaceful. Take time to look after yourself and remember that there is no single way to grieve that is right for everyone.

She’s at peace and pain-free now. 💐

Thanks for letting us know. Good to know she died peacefully. Hope you’re as ok as you can be x

thinking of you OP x

I’m so sorry, I hope your DM passes peacefully

Sending you love and support Op. I wish your mum a peaceful passing, and some relief and peace for you. 💐

Hoping it’s not too long before your mum is released from this state and passes away peacefully. Absolutely horrendous for you and your brother. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Its such a horrible ending that I believe if I'd been left on my own with my mum, I would have been tempted to put a pillow over her face and put her out of her misery

I'm sorry youre going through this. I lost my mum in the same way. She died 3 years after she went into the care home. In the end, she just wasn't able to open her mouth to eat or drink :-( weirdly, I feel that I subconsciously knew it was coming as I took her outfit she wore to my wedding to the dry cleaners so that I could dress her in it for her funeral....a week later, she was gone.

I had stated at the time that when she reached end of life that I wanted her kept at the care home and not to ring an ambulance. HOWEVER, when I got the call, I was in the airport coming home from holiday and as I couldn't see mum to really gauge how frail she was and how much she was suffering, I asked them to send her to hospital. It actually turned out to be the best decision. I feel in a care home she may have been given some medication and some attention but in the hospital, they were able to quickly increase her syringe driver when she was uncomfortable, she had such kind nurses checking on her, giving us gel for her mouth to ensure her tongue wasn't dry, putting face cream on her. Anyway, I just felt the care at the hospital was far superior to a care home so thats just something to bare in mind. I will say that she was on the syringe driver in hospital from Sunday night until Thursday morning before she passed. The only time I left her was to go for my 12 week scan, so I was able to whisper to her that she was going to be a granny again which was a nice secret for the two of us.

Honestly, I was so bloody happy for her when she passed away. I wouldn't that disease on my worst enemy. It's an awful thing to watch anyone go through. Sending hugs and wishing your mum some peace x

Sending you so many hugs, please don't be afraid to step outside etc when it all feels too heavy. The syringe driver is simply to manage her pain with minimal interference xx

@Icecreamlover63 I hope you are getting the support you need. It's a tough wait.

Sending you lots of love. It's such a hard time. I hope it is all peaceful and gentle for both of you.

I'm glad she has a proper care plan and is able to die in the care home, not be taken unnecessarily into a noisy hospital. If you visit, it might be nice to play some music on your phone, quietly by her ear on the pillow. Remember that babies can hear in the womb and we think it's one of the last things to go.

The end will be peace for both of you. When my mum died I only felt relief because she wasn’t suffering any longer.

💐 for you in this dark night @Icecreamlover63, I hope you and your mum can find peace x

I hope that you are feeling supported, and that everything is peaceful for your mum@Icecreamlover63, this must be so difficult for you.