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Elderly parents
Original poster

Elderly mum not sleeping- how normal?

34 replies

SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 12:10

My mum aged 98 has a terrible time sleeping. It varies a lot but some nights she wakes around 2am and can't sleep again so she is exhausted the next day. And obviously there are longer term effects on her overall health.

She lives independently and is in reasonably good health- fully mobile etc. My sister visits her most days (I'm too far away to do that.)

I have suggested she asks for sleeping tablets if she has little sleep for days on end but she's not keen. I know they can have side effects.

Does anyone else have any experience of this?

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Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 06/12/2025 08:12

Summerhillsquare · 05/12/2025 17:20

The drowsy anti histamines are good, no side effects I've noticed.

They do come with a warning that they can affect kidneys because they are dehydrating and for someone who is very old- not far off 100- it's not something to use without asking a dr.

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JustMe2026 · 06/12/2025 04:20

Very common, my gran came to live with my parents last year and for the first few months we realised she turned night into day...so now she has a set routine woken at 8:30am gets sent to bed at 8pm no TV etc all meals getting ready done at the same time every day and now she sleeps fine again. It's almost like having an adult child and aslong as the routine is stuck to it's fine...Recently gran came and stayed with me for 2 weeks to give my mum a break and accidentally I forgot the routine and the first 2 nights she was up like a baby would be all night..I figured it and it was fine after the bad 2 nights lol

OLDERME · 06/12/2025 01:40

My approach is to stop worrying about lack of sleep now. Milky drinks a banana, light supper all help with falling asleep. Much more difficult to remain asleep. Was reading only today that in earlier times we had two sleeps.. now I don't worry when I wake up after 3 hours. I read, watch TV, have a milky drink, fall back asleep. I was given sleeping tablets and then Melatonin. Tablets made me dizzy and off balance, Melatonin wears of after a few weeks.

Imo.sleeping aids are the cause of many falls among older people.

Summerhillsquare · 05/12/2025 17:20

The drowsy anti histamines are good, no side effects I've noticed.

unsync · 05/12/2025 17:18

A little bit of supper before bedtime would be an idea. Generally, strong sleep meds can cause drowsiness and can therefore be a fall risk in the elderly.

Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 17:00

simpsonthecat · 05/12/2025 16:27

Ask for over the counter strong sleeping aid. Sominex is good, and if they don't have that the pharmacist will know the equivalent. Nytol do one, as do Tesco own brand. I only take half a tablet and it resets my sleep for the better. I just don't want to do it too often so it's only every few weeks when I am desperate and can barely put one foot in front the other

I am old. I envy people who can sleep 8 hours so so much, they don't know how lucky they are. 6 hours is good for me, sometimes it's 5
And worse

Edited

Thank you for this, but I think it's something to take medical advice on because my Mum is on some meds for her BP/ blood thinners and some of these antihistamine drugs are not always compatible (even though they seem 'safe' for most people.)

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MrsLeonFarrell · 05/12/2025 16:29

Has she got a really comfy chair? My parent often wakes up at 3 am thes goes downstairs and falls asleep in a riser recliner until 9. I think it's pretty common to sleep more and with a changed pattern.

simpsonthecat · 05/12/2025 16:27

Ask for over the counter strong sleeping aid. Sominex is good, and if they don't have that the pharmacist will know the equivalent. Nytol do one, as do Tesco own brand. I only take half a tablet and it resets my sleep for the better. I just don't want to do it too often so it's only every few weeks when I am desperate and can barely put one foot in front the other

I am old. I envy people who can sleep 8 hours so so much, they don't know how lucky they are. 6 hours is good for me, sometimes it's 5
And worse

Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 16:19

I wonder if its low blood with my mum, she has dinner ridiculously early then i don't think she eats after that

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 15:02

maddiemookins16mum · 05/12/2025 14:37

My mum was like this. It’s because she slept during the day and had a reduced appetite. Pretty sure she woke up hungry. In the end I encouraged her to get up, make some tea and toast and then go back to bed.

This is good advice and also to ask your mum to have a snack at bedtime in case low blood sugar is a factor in her waking up early.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/12/2025 14:37

My mum was like this. It’s because she slept during the day and had a reduced appetite. Pretty sure she woke up hungry. In the end I encouraged her to get up, make some tea and toast and then go back to bed.

ScaryM0nster · 05/12/2025 14:36

Embrace naps.

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 14:33

That's tricky. She's getting up to 5 hours sleep (maybe more?) and may not need much more than that. You're right to encourage her to stay up a bit later. It's especially tricky when it's cold and gets dark so early - maybe spring is a better time to tackle this?

Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 14:30

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 14:28

What time does your mum normally go to bed and go to sleep?

Anywhere from 9pm to 10pm.
I've encouraged her to try to go late (eg 10pm) but sometimes she goes earlier.

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bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 14:28

What time does your mum normally go to bed and go to sleep?

Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 14:20

Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 14:05

I was having horrendous headaches and it was during covid so the gp suggested I stop I was fine tbf I had my last period at 51, it is the sleep that is affected now, maybe I do need to go back @SilverSurferNot

Might be worth a try?
Sleep was my biggest issue and TBH my Mum's right from her 50s except now it's got a whole lot worse for her.

OP posts:
Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 14:05

I was having horrendous headaches and it was during covid so the gp suggested I stop I was fine tbf I had my last period at 51, it is the sleep that is affected now, maybe I do need to go back @SilverSurferNot

Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 13:54

Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 13:53

I might go back actually see what they say,

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Do you want to say why you stopped (you can PM me if you like as I've a lot of experience of it.)

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Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 13:53

aniloD · 05/12/2025 13:51

I'm 70 and don't sleep well. What helps me are magnesium glycinate and Ashwaganda supplements. From Amazon

I know about those but I'm wary of her taking any as she is on some meds for slight cardio / BP issues and they may not be safe.

OP posts:
Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 13:53

SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 13:52

Oh, sorry to hear that- is that a 100% no?
Maybe your GP can refer you to someone (specialist) to offer other solutions? There are other drugs out there.

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I might go back actually see what they say,

Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 13:52

Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 13:47

Ive had to come off HRT but yes it is the menopause I seem to be such a light sleeper it is like im just dosing instead of deep sleep,

Show quote history

Oh, sorry to hear that- is that a 100% no?
Maybe your GP can refer you to someone (specialist) to offer other solutions? There are other drugs out there.

OP posts:
aniloD · 05/12/2025 13:51

I'm 70 and don't sleep well. What helps me are magnesium glycinate and Ashwaganda supplements. From Amazon

Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 13:47

SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 13:43

That's probably menopause- HRT sorted my sleep @Coffeeishot .

Show quote history

Ive had to come off HRT but yes it is the menopause I seem to be such a light sleeper it is like im just dosing instead of deep sleep,

Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 13:45

She is very reluctant to take anything but I may suggest melatonin.
I don't know if there are any contraindications for older people.

I feel very sorry for her because on 'good days' she's amazing - doing loads of gardening and physical stuff - but on other days she's worn out from lack of sleep.

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Original poster
SilverSurferNot · 05/12/2025 13:43

Coffeeishot · 05/12/2025 13:06

I am 54 and my sleep is terrible I think by the time im in my 70s ill just be up all night !

That's probably menopause- HRT sorted my sleep @Coffeeishot .

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