Help. Mum about to be discharged from hospital

From personal experience, advise that, as others have said it is an unsafe discharge, and your Mum needs a comprehensive care package and until that is established she needs to stay in hospital or transferred to a facility that can do a comprehensive assessment of need. It always helps to say you appreciate they need the bed, BUT sending her home would be unethical and unsafe, and keep repeating yourself. Do not assist in any way or facilitate an unsafe return home. If she has fractured her back, it will likely be agony, and she'll need strong pain meds administered and regularly. Not helpful I know, but talk of "a stable fracture" sounds nothing to see here, but it will be agonising and recovery, with osteoporosis will be slow, if at all.

As the PP above says, wants and needs are entirely different and if the professionals, including social work, get any hint of a supportive, caring family - they will punt her off without a backward glance, or pay lip service by their "maximum" of carers, 10 minutes a pop, 4 times per day - which won't cut it at all. The house being half in trust is a separate concern, and you can ask for a full financial assessment alongside to see what your Mum can realistically afford to contribute to her care.

Resist, at all costs, taking her home and do not bow to pressure. You will help your Mum far better being an advocate for her needs to be met in a comprehensive and thorough way.

It is a horrible path to walk. Best of luck and hope your Mum is OK.

Been through similar, whatever happens she must get a full care package in place before she returns home. If that doesn't happen, don't pick her up from the hospital.

Don't be persuaded to help out short term or you'll find after a week or so that the promised care package never materialises.

This is no fault of the NHS or Social Work but until we are all prepared to pay enough tax to pay decent carer wages, all the wonderful carers will continue to leave to earn more working in Aldi.

Just seen your post, who owns half the house in the trust.

Does she have capacity to make her own decision about where she wants to live, having carers, does anyone have poa. I'd try and speak to the therapists, would she benefit from inpatient rehab.is the fracture long standing. You need to step right back, tell the nurses there is no help at home, the house is unsafe, don't facilitate her going home, let the staff sort it all out.

Please also remember that hospitals treat the acute illness and your Mums ongoing care is not there responsibility - sounds harsh I know but if you understand their angle it makes navigating the rest more logical.

your Mum as above needs an urgent assessment by a social worker and a short term care package to support her safely at home - what that looks like will be up to her/ you and social services

good luck

There should be social worker on the discharge team. Tell them it would be an unsafe discharge as there is noone to supervise her and her home is unsuitable. They might send a ot to assess it and make suggestions for adaptations but that sounds unlikely to work.

Ring her local social services adult social care helpdesk and explain that you feel this is an unsafe discharge and that she needs to have a social worker assigned to her as a matter of urgency. You can also speak to the nursing team at the hospital and repeat the unsafe discharge over and over. At best she needs an occupational therapy assessment at home before her return there. However it can be like pushing water uphill with a fork if she's deemed to have capacity.

This is useful
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/health-wellbeing/health-services/leaving-hospital/

You need to ask speak to occupational therapy and physiotherapy people at the hospital who should be assessing her for discharge. They should liaise with social services if needed or you may need to directly - I'm in Scotland so things can work differently. Make sure you tell them everything, raise your safety concerns and be very clear and firm about what you will and won't do re. care and support.

Needs now outweigh wants. Make it clear to the discharge team you will be stepping right back and doing nothing. And mean it. Cite carer breakdown. No more shopping, no more transporting her about.
What were her plans for coping as she aged?
Youre not the selfish one. The wants of someone at the end of life don’t trump those of others in the prime of theirs. Remember, today is likely the best she will ever be. Think longer term and use this opportunity to extract yourself. It’s not sustainable.