88 year old Dad had bad fall

So sorry to hear this, sending you ❤️

I'm sorry too, such an awful thing to have happened. We have gone from parents living independently together in July to nursing home for one and the other struggling to cope without them all as a result of one fall, my poor DF was taken to hospital and will never go home again it has been the most horrendous shock and re-adjustment for all of us including him as he has full mental capacity and is very much aware of everything that has happened. We have had nothing but good support from all the professionals concerned. Take each day one at a time, make notes, take advice where you can .

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. My lovely dad had Parkinson's too and a fall took him to a care home from hospital. Thinking of you x

Aww that sounds hard, it's so difficult being at a distance and not knowing whether to rush back.

i know it's hard but try not to feel guilty about this accident - maybe it would help to think that it happened because he has been able to stay at home where he wanted to be and that was a completely reasonable choice at the time without the benefits of a crystal ball.

In terms of going into a home, you will have to wait and see how he gets on for now. Do you think he would be considered to have capacity at the point he was at before the accident? People with capacity are allowed to decide they would rather take the risk of falls/accidents if it means they can be at home. Perhaps he would still have chosen to stay at home even if he was told in advance he would have this accident?

I agree that pps suggestion of taking it one step at a time and if appropriate talking about a move to a rehab placement 'to help him recover' even if you know he's unlikely to come home.

Do you get on well with your family? it makes it much easier if everyone is supportive of each other and you can work together.

It's really hard, look after yourself.

I don’t know about burns, but that sounds desperately sad OP. I hope he’s comfortable. Is it worth calling the ward yourself, explaining you’re overseas, and asking if they think you need to get back?

I’m currently overseas working until March, for financial security not lifestyle
you don’t have to justify your life choices just because you have an elderly parent, you’re allowed to live your life.

I should think even after the first ward round it will be hard to tell much and the message is likely to be ‘it’s early days’. Which is true, but don’t be afraid to ask blunt questions about their view on the survivability of this episode - provided you want to know the answers. Tbh this early on they will not be very specific, and that’s right, but it will signal to them that you do want them to be open with you - if you actually do want that.

This is going to come across very cold, so I apologise in advance (I had some distant family involved in rescue work including Piper Alpha which is why I know this....)

There's a formula to work out basic survival chances after serious burns - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baux_score. Basically it's
" body area affected + age of patient + 17 = Baux Score
The score is a comparative indicator of burn severity, with a score over 140 considered as being unsurvivable, depending on the available treatment resources"

This formula has around an 80% accuracy rate in people over 60. However the treatment of burns has improved massively since the formula was first created.

Depending on the extent of the burns, that might give you some idea of likelihood of acute survival, to discuss with his clinical team.

I was so sorry to read this. It is likely to be a very long stay in hospital. My experience is that he will deteriorate substantially once he stops mobilising. A long stay, being cared for will likely mean that his cognitive faculties will be less. It may be easier to persuade him to accept care on his discharge.

Just to say, if there are any signs of dementia, those pendants are useless. They will forget to wear them, or, even if they remember, will forget what they are for.

The big risk with the burn is infection and ulceration
his skin will be like tissue paper the chance of it healing are slim
that said with proper wound care it may not heal but be ok

as for going in a home adult SS w safeguard this and they could force the decision for his own safety without any input from you

Sending so much love. Be aware that his cognition could deteriorate drastically should he be away from familiar surroundings for a prolonged period

Are you having grief counselling?

Sorry for the loss of your DM

Your DDad may really be struggling with these of his DW & this "accident" may be a physical symptom of his grief.

I'm not a medical professional, but given his age, frailty and medical history along with the shock of the fall and serious burns, I'd be preparing to go home to see him very soon - as in within the next few days. It might be worth seeing if you can rearrange your work schedule, and get an idea of flight times and costs now, so you can go quickly if need be.

I’m sorry @Showqa. Burns can be very serious in the elderly. I know not everyone is the same, but an elderly aunt fell and her arm was against the radiator due to lying there all night. Her skin was so thin that she was burned through to the bone. She didn’t make it as the shock to her system was too great, even though the burn was her only injury.

i hope your DF is ok, but it is possible he will be in hospital for quite a while.

Oh your poor dad that’s very sad.Has he got any signs of dementia ? We had a similar situation with my mum. She lived in a first floor flat with a steep staircase, she had a stairlift but didn’t use it safely.
One day we found her at the bottom of the steps unconscious, no idea how long she had been there, she had suffered a brain haemorrhage. At age 90 she survived and was sent home, because she was said to be of sound mind we had no choice.

She soon deteriorated, I lived in constant fear of her falling again. She became confused one evening, a neighbour called an ambulance she was admitted to hospital were the social worker decided she wasn’t fit to live at home anymore. What a relief !
She went to live in a care home where sadly she became confused and died six months later.

If your dad is still of sound mind he could still insist on coming home. I really hope not for all your sakes. It’s s horrible time. I wish you all well.

Yes I think if he didn’t use the pendant alarm - wasn’t carrying it or forgot to press it or kept thinking ‘I’ll try again in 5 mins and press it if I can’t get up then’ to the point of such severe burns’ then if he does survive, he needs to have 24 hour care in some form.

Don’t panic he is where he needs to be for now. He is probably many weeks from being fit to return home, and will be assessed before discharge.

In reality he will probably go to a care home but if you present him with each stage of his care as ‘for now’ , he may be more accepting.

Good luck it’s very hard.

I'm sorry but if he is very elderly I don't think his chances are good. If he does make it home then you need to make sure he has a lifeline alarm/ pendant alarm which he can wear on his wrist or round his neck. At least then he can call for help quickly if trapped. So many elderly people I talk to are reassured by them.

At the moment you’re clearly anxious and thinking about the worst case scenario - which is totally understandable. When your DF recovers from his injuries it is likely that he will be moved to a re-enablement placement for assessment. My MIL was placed in one, which in reality was a care home but with daily access to OTs and physio. From there it was clear she was not safe in her own home even though she wanted to return. She agreed to go into a care home ‘until she got stronger’ as she couldn’t walk at all by this point. Eventually she realised she would never go home, and passed away peacefully in her sleep rather than lying on a cold floor on her own at home.

The ability of skin and the body to heal is greatly diminished at that age. Have they estimated the chance of success with a skin graft at all? Have they said there's a good chance of success? I think you need better information, but that's a very worrying situation