What can you do when they refuse to get out of bed and mobilise?

57 replies

BB49 · 19/11/2025 14:32

FIL is currently in a rehab hospital after a fall a few weeks ago when he fractured a few ribs. He is in no pain from that now and the hospital is trying to encourage him to do physiotherapy and move around using a walker and support, as well as sit in a chair for short periods, but he is pretty much refusing to do anything. He is meant to be discharged soon to go back home with carer support, but as he is barely walking and cannot get out of bed or a chair unaided I am not sure how this is going to go? He is more than likely going to fall again when back home.

He keeps saying he is most comfortable in bed. He sleeps a huge amount and we can't really reason with him very well to try and move around to strengthen his body as there is some short term memory loss.

OP posts:

Radiatorvalves · 19/11/2025 16:06

MIL (91) has had poor mobility for a long time. But v recently something has happened like a stroke (but it’s not) and it’s almost as if she’s paralyzed. She’s not but can only make minimal movement unaided. It’s also affected her speech. I am not sure what can be done. She’s in a brilliant care home, but I suspect she may not have long. Such a difficult time. We’ve been encouraging her to move more for years - but it’s not what she wants to do.

Good luck OP.

Original poster

BB49 · 19/11/2025 16:00

Mayflower282 · 19/11/2025 15:08

Sometimes the body starts preparing for the inevitable. How old is he?

He's 88 years old.

OP posts:

MissMoneyFairy · 19/11/2025 15:54

A longterm catheter can be put in while he's in hospital, I think they get changed every 3 months but you can look this up online. As you have poa you can speak with his doctor nurse, therapists, social worker, discharge team. If he wants to go home and everyone is in agreement he needs a full care needs assessment, a care package, equipment, carers, district nurses, if he lacks capacity after a formal capacity assessment then a mdt meeting should take place, if he's not going to be safe at home in-between carer calls then would he be safer in a carehome. I would ask the doctor and therapists what they think he would be able to realistically manage, is he likely to deteriorate or stay as he is, it's a difficult conversation but it's no benefit to him to be in rehab if he's not benefitting from it,

Coffeeishot · 19/11/2025 15:15

My stepdad took seriously ill a few years ago he refused this that and the next thing, it was bloody frustrating.he had a commode for .peeing in, there was nothing we could do, my mum took on a carer role, it was up to her really you can't force him to move sadly, step father is better a few years on but not great sadly,

If they let your fil home with a catheter his bag will need emptied and a district nurse would need to change the catheter if it falls out or needs replaced. So he would need a care package.

Mayflower282 · 19/11/2025 15:08

Sometimes the body starts preparing for the inevitable. How old is he?

Original poster

BB49 · 19/11/2025 15:06

@MissMoneyFairy thank you for your response, he's not on any pain medication. A hospital bed hasn't been suggested yet. He doesn't really have capacity at the minute (hospital stay has made him forgetful), and we have POA. He has had a catheter put in by the hospital - if bedbound when home would this stay in? How does toileting work otherwise?

OP posts:

MissMoneyFairy · 19/11/2025 14:50

Is he on any pain medication, HD must be frightened to fall again, they can't make him get out of bed but they will explain the risks to him, can he have a hospital bed at home that moves into a chair position. He needs to be fully assessed before he goes home, including if he is going to be bedbound, and care and equipment supplied before he's discharged. Does he have capacity, is there any poa in place. What's his home and financial situation.

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