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Elderly parents
Original poster

How old was your dad when he died?

212 replies

litmuspaper · 11/11/2025 14:11

I posted earlier but didn’t get any responses, my wonderful dad is 81 and I’m starting to think and wrap my head around the fact he’s not got very long left given he has heart disease and seems to be declining.

My colleague said she thought this wasn’t that old, whereas I thought anything above 80 was.

How old was your DF when he died?

OP posts:
HannahinHampshire · 11/11/2025 14:19

My Dad was 65 (and had only been retired for a couple of months), I was 28. Mum died at 92 when I was 62. As RedTitBlueTitOldTitNewTit said it’s hard to accept at any age but premature feels more cruel.

SoloSofa24 · 11/11/2025 14:19

DF was 84, but he had been disabled for nearly two decades by then. FiL was 74, DH was 41.

At 81, your father is already over the average age at death for men in the UK. He could live another decade, but if he already has heart disease and other issues, then yes, you need to start accepting that he may not be around for very much longer.

ilovepixie · 11/11/2025 14:18

My dad was 72, he had pancreatic cancer. My OH was 59, he had oesophagus cancer.

Advocodo · 11/11/2025 14:18

My def was a week off his 84th birthday. He had previously had a mini stroke, heart attack and fall down the stairs.

Blingismything · 11/11/2025 14:18

51, of a brain bleed. His brother also died in his 50s of a cardiac arrest. Mum was 68 and died of the same thing.

Nowheretobeseen · 11/11/2025 14:17

mine was 52. He just gave up on life as much as we tried to help him. I miss him everyday.

BillieWiper · 11/11/2025 14:17

Just turned 55. His dad was 50.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 11/11/2025 14:16

My dad was a few weeks short of 80 but he had untreated diabetes which had reduced his quality of life. I think he was glad to go when he did, at home rather than in hospital, because his life had shrunk so much.

Still miss him.

PotatoFan · 11/11/2025 14:15

69, hadn’t yet retired

RedTitBlueTitOldTitNewTit · 11/11/2025 14:14

My lovely dad was 67 and I was 26. That really felt too young.
It's a hard one to accept at any age. I think there are stages to feeling completely cheated though- premature feels more cruel than old age.

WhatAreYou · 11/11/2025 14:14
  1. Too young to go 😔
CatBooksWineInThatOrder · 11/11/2025 14:14

My dad was 71 and my mum was 77. Both died of cancer. Neither of them were particularly old but cancer doesn’t care. I wouldn’t say 80s is old but also not entirely unexpected when people of that age die unfortunately. I’m sorry to hear about your dad, sounds like you have tough times ahead.