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Elderly parents
Original poster

How old was your dad when he died?

212 replies

litmuspaper · 11/11/2025 14:11

I posted earlier but didn’t get any responses, my wonderful dad is 81 and I’m starting to think and wrap my head around the fact he’s not got very long left given he has heart disease and seems to be declining.

My colleague said she thought this wasn’t that old, whereas I thought anything above 80 was.

How old was your DF when he died?

OP posts:
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TheignT · 22/11/2025 11:49

He was 43. Both grandfathers in their 80s.

Spendysis · 21/11/2025 10:38

@Titasaducksarsethank you it is a very difficult situation and I am sure he would be turning in his grave if he knew what was going on. I won’t have any big financial decisions to make dsis has spent most of the money already which is ddad inheritance plus his parents inheritance passed down to ddad and dm. There is probably only the house left and I am sure the will has been changed to cut me out and all go to dsis

Titasaducksarse · 20/11/2025 18:07

Spendysis · 20/11/2025 17:57

yes I do. I have been thinking about him a lot recently and regularly go to his grave as I am going through a difficult situation and am nc with dsis and dm due to dsis financial abusing dm i really wish he was here to support me and advise me

I feel for you. I've a very different situation but involves really big financial decisions linked to him via his inheritance to me and I too wish he was here to talk things through.

Spendysis · 20/11/2025 17:57

yes I do. I have been thinking about him a lot recently and regularly go to his grave as I am going through a difficult situation and am nc with dsis and dm due to dsis financial abusing dm i really wish he was here to support me and advise me

Titasaducksarse · 20/11/2025 17:32

Spendysis · 20/11/2025 14:56

Ddad was 40 when he died from cancer I was 18 months old so don’t remember him dm is 85 and still alive despite having heart surgery over 10 years ago that was expected to keep her going for around 5 years

Hey spendy
My dad died at 48...aorta ruptured and I was a few months old too.
Do you miss not having any memories of him....I do deeply. It seems to be something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

Spendysis · 20/11/2025 14:56

Ddad was 40 when he died from cancer I was 18 months old so don’t remember him dm is 85 and still alive despite having heart surgery over 10 years ago that was expected to keep her going for around 5 years

TimetodoEverything · 16/11/2025 19:46
  1. Too young.

80s isn’t unexpected. 90s is a good innings.

But whatever age they are it’s too soon when you love them x

Original poster
litmuspaper · 13/11/2025 17:12

Thank you all for the insights and sorry it is a rather depressing thread. It brings to light that there really is no standard age. I guess we can only try and enjoy the present and not worry about the future for fear of missing out on the now..

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 13/11/2025 12:02

56, my mum was 67

StillHoldingOn · 13/11/2025 09:09

He was 55. Massive heart attack. I was pregnant at the time, and I look back and wonder how I got through it.

SockFluffInTheBath · 12/11/2025 17:52

My dad was 62 (cancer), FIL is 86 and refusing to expire.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 12/11/2025 08:01

He was 54. Had chronic lung disease following TB as a child and died of heart failure.

thankgoditssaturday · 12/11/2025 01:49

58 He took his own life.

OddSocksAreCool · 12/11/2025 00:36

47 😔 Liver failure from alcoholism.

SwedishEdith · 11/11/2025 23:58

Keepsmiling2948 · 11/11/2025 16:21

61, it was sudden, and horrendous, and only 18 months after his Dad died at 84.

I consider anything over 80 to be an expected death/easier to accept and have felt those funerals to me more a celebration of life than mourning a loss.

Similar for me. My dad died suddenly at 60 only 2 and a half years after his own dad died at 88.

ozarina · 11/11/2025 23:44

62

SouthernNights59 · 11/11/2025 23:43

Mine was 89 and was active and well up until a couple of months prior to his death. He had a far more active social life than I did!

Simplelifeneeded · 11/11/2025 23:40

My dad was 49 when he passed away he had heart diesese and had 10 heart attacks over the space of 5 years. He needed a heart transplant but never lived long enough to recieve one.

DramaAlpaca · 11/11/2025 23:38

Mine is still here at 91, diabetic, a little frail but mentally sharp as a tack. Living independently with 89 year old DM, and still driving, too. All his siblings died in their 70s of smoking related causes. I'm sure he's only still here because he stopped smoking in his 40s and because DM looks after his diet so well.

Flowers for all those who lost their dads too soon

Hohumdedum · 11/11/2025 23:28

59, he didn't have a healthy life and just dropped dead one day very suddenly.

Sharptonguedwoman · 11/11/2025 23:23

86

SailingAwayAgain · 11/11/2025 23:22

My dad was 70 when he died and I was 39 at that time. When Mum died at the age of 92, I was 61.

Netcam · 11/11/2025 23:19

My dad was 92, my step dad was 91. My mum is 87 and still alive.

greengreytrue · 11/11/2025 23:19

My dad was 63.
FIL is still going at 86.

MeouwKing · 11/11/2025 23:17

90, I think he had just had enough.