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Elderly parents

Old men and using the toilet ….?

85 replies

jwoo23 · 06/11/2025 22:25

Hello! Looking for advice from any care home workers that can advise on the best cleaning solutions for the gallons of urine that gets deposited around every lavatory in the house when both my elderly father or FIL come to stay!!!!!

They are both from a generation that would balk at the idea of a sit-down wee. Plus they don’t seem to ever even quite make it to the toilet in the middle of the night either, so the trail of urine quite often starts somewhere near the bathroom door! Not helped either by the fact that they both love a few drinks on regular occasion which exacerbates the issue!

I know age will get all of us, so I don’t want to be insensitive, and also, even if I didn’t care about being insensitive, mentioning it to either of these ‘characters’ would be fruitless. They wouldn’t change their ways even if they were initially embarrassed.

They can’t be in the minority? In my mind, therefore, care homes must have copious amounts of urine on the bottom of slippers and trodden in to all carpets?

When they come to stay I feel like I am constantly inspecting and cleaning whole puddles of piss from the seat, under the seat, behind the seat and all over the floor before I can get in and on with my own business. And worse, before I can let the toddler in the bathroom who would be oblivious to putting her hands in it as she climbs onto the toilet trying to be so independent!

Any advice? I have disinfectant and special pee only cleaning cloths stashed in each loo trying to be discrete but would be grateful to know how anyone else or those who work in a care home deal with this. It honestly takes up so much of my time when they’re here!

Thank you!

OP posts:
orangejacketlamp · 07/11/2025 21:41

My father in law does this when he stays it’s repulsive and I try not to let it affect my opinion of him but alas it does. Because there is no way he doesnt know he is pissing himself as he walks to the toilet so he is fine with pissing all over the carpet his grandkids crawl on, then leaving a puddle of piss for everyone to stand in. It’s repulsive and your mum and you have made it so they just don’t care, someone else will clean it up

OSTMusTisNT · 07/11/2025 21:37

Bleach is the answer, as strong as you can get away with without damaging flooring.

(UK Care Homes are banned from using bleach hence the pissy smell).

Moonbeamcoco · 07/11/2025 21:33

BernardButlersBra · 07/11/2025 06:55

Get them to clean it up. Why should you need to do it?!

Have a heart. They probably can't help it. Hope you remember this when you are older

donaldtrumpsfaketandealer · 07/11/2025 21:28

Aldi cheap disinfectant saved my carpets after a similar situation here. Not just a cursory spray and wipe though. Buy it by the bottle and pour it on until the offending area is absolutely sodden. And then leave it to dry or at a minimum for the contact time recommended on the back of the bottle (think its 15 mins for the Aldi one).
Failing that you can buy urine neutraliser in 5l bottles on Amazon. Read the instructions and again it has a contact time it has to be left undisturbed for before being cleaned up.
And get rid of the pee only cloths. Unless they are being washed on a 90 degree wash after every use they are going to harbour bacteria and potentially make things worse. Use kitchen roll instead.

jwoo23 · 07/11/2025 11:47

Thanks for the comments so far. I honestly don’t think prostate issues are on the table - they are both under several different health professionals for various reasons. They are just OLD!!!! And getting them to clean up after themselves - impossible. My Dad can’t even bend over to tie up his own shoes! Old people don’t seem to see dirt and hygiene in the same way I do anyway. I’m pretty sure they never wash their hands either.

I like the idea of odour neutralisers. I think the bed pan idea (would go down like a pint of piss!!!) and we’d end up with even lazier men that would just end up weeing all over their sheets and carpet and give me even more work to do!

OP posts:
BernardButlersBra · 07/11/2025 06:55

Get them to clean it up. Why should you need to do it?!

Sweetpea1532 · 07/11/2025 06:51

I would give them each their own 'pee' pail that they can use whilst sitting on the edge of the bed. It can be emptied in the morning. They used to be called 'slop jars ' in the olden days before indoor plumbing here in the US

17to35 · 07/11/2025 02:22

They almost certainly won’t be able to pass urine in a sitting position because of prostatic hypertrophy- benign or otherwise.

Meredusoleil · 06/11/2025 22:35

My late father used to do this. But not just with wee, with poo too. Not to scare you, but it can be a sign of prostate cancer which is the no. 1 killer in men. Have they been checked for this?

CosySeason · 06/11/2025 22:32

I would have to call them up on it or stop their visits if I’m being honest.

Try odour neutralising products, you may find the ones in the pet aisle for urine may work well.