Mum has dementia. Disagreement with Social Services about level of care required

Please check that you have POA for health and welfare AND finances, particularly if she did it that long ago x

The OP works full time so would not be entitled to carers allowance. Her mum has attendance allowance which is for this purpose and is taken into account as part of the financial assessment.

Ars you claiming carers allowance which would cover this

I'd contact the ss manager and ask when the 2 visits are starting, they won't put this as a priority while you're helping, she goes out several times a week and has had ot input, does she have a falls detector care alarm, ss, the carers or emergency services can be the first responders. Could you rent out her flat instead to cover the cost of a residential home or private extra care.,what are the 2 care visits a day being asked to do, are there any day centres or social prescribing groups in her area she could access through her pd or dementia nurse.

Social services also have a duty to choose the least restrictive option for care. My mum's capacity assessment took over a year for the social worker to complete. Both parents flatly refused to do power of attorney and mum's dementia became so advanced that she didn't know what money was. We literally had to use meals on wheels , on line shopping , tracking devices etc

In my experience, hassling social services consistently and becoming a huge pain in the butt is the only way to get what you need

Ok, you need to ring the social worker and ask about your mum's care plan. If the social worker can't give you an answer, ask to speak to the social workers manager. I say this because my parents social worker did a care assessment, didn't file it and then went on sick leave for over 6 months. Can you evidence that your mum needs more care than she's receiving at present? No disrespect, but it doesn't sound like she is a care home level yet and the funding wouldn't be made available. If you chose to find a care home after the flat is sold, then be aware the local authority can still require that she moves somewhere cheaper when her self funding runs out, they won't automatically accept a top up as there is a set amount they will pay.

Unfortunately the funding just isn't there for people to decide to go into a care home so unless they can fund themselves that's how it is. They will risk assess that your mum is safe and happy at home and most local authorities have a policy of enabling people to stay in their own homes for as long as possible, which is after all what many elderly folk profess to want. Local authorities don't see it as leaving a person to rack and ruin and it's often why admission to a care home is triggered by a crisis.

It sounds like OP's mum is reliant on others anyway. Care homes do take residents on days out and they're not held prisoner. OP can still take her mum shopping or out for tea and cake if she wants to even if she's living in a care home.

All you can actually do at this point is ask them to increase the care visits, which would increase her contribution. The threshold for going into a care home is high, my mum developed dementia and we had nearly 3 years of increasingly aggressive behaviour towards my dad (threatening to 'put a knife through him' at 3 am in the morning etc and carers reporting that she was hitting him and social services sending the police around) before they finally did a care assessment review and realised she'd been walking to the local high school and shouting verbal abuse at the students. She then suddenly met the the threshold and moved into care a week later. She met the threshold because she had become a risk to herself and others.

They just won't assist you with a care placement if you require funding until the 4 care visits a day plan has been exhausted. They don't want to know that you would like mum closer, care placements aren't designed to accommodate family helping, that's more the assisted living or extra care model within adult social care. Particularly if you are asking for funding in a different county, that's even more reason why they won't fund (I used to work as a sheltered housing manager and in council run care homes so have seen a lot of this)
We had to step away from my parents completely and show the social workers that there was no assistance to even get 4 care visits (my dad was physically disabled and part of mum's dementia meant she decided she absolutely hated him) it's going to be a battle for you to get this sorted out and currently your mum won't meet their thresholds.

How long are the care calls?

So going on an average of £20/hr for care, SS are funding 3/4 and around £200pw of the care package (apols of my numbers are wildly out). So you could have that as a direct payment and create a more bespoke package. It does mean you have responsibilities as an employer, but SS should have a team to help you navigate that. Could be a better idea of you’ve got quite specific needs that don’t necessarily come under a traditional SS package of care?

Per week or per day?
I imagine the delay is in the SW taking it to panel where it’s gets presented and then hopefully signed off. Unfortunately it’s never a quick process.

Have the carers started yet? If not, you may find that the twice a day regular visits and new routine will help calm down her anxiety and lead to far less calls to you.
Have SS talked about direct payments? I know your mum is largely self funding, but you can opt to have the SS contributions paid directly to you instead of them setting up the care package. You can then add that to her contribution and create a private care package that is really tailored to her. For example, it could be at different times on different days.
It’s really important to keep a diary of the bouts of anxiety / calls to you about this. This will help inform the next SW review of her needs.

@Blueuggboots solidarity for the rubbish situation you’re in. Similar to my mum, she would have benefited enormously from moving into the care home she’s in now 6-12 months before she did. They do trips out and daily activities in the home and they’d have kept her safe and stimulated instead of mouldering away in her bed all day alone at home. It was slightly different for us as mum was the one refusing to move, and had LA commissioned carers 4x daily, although she paid as she had a small lump sum from my dads pension when he died which took her cash over the limit for self funding.

We had to wait for the inevitable crisis, and everyone at the hospital agreed with me that she was no longer safe enough at home, even with all the adaptations and carer visits. Her LA, which is allegedly relatively well run in the big scheme of things, didn’t even come to the best interests meeting at the hospital or meet her. A SW from the LA reviewed the hospital paperwork and decided she could go home again and they’d up the care visits so that it was 2 carers 4 times a day. And mum could wear incontinence pads and lie in her own waste until the next visit.

That was not something DB or I would ever accept, but the LA would not assist us in identifying a suitable care home, even though mum would be a self funded once the house was sold. They bluntly told us we’d be on our own if we declined the care they offered. I happened to be fanatically lucky in that the second care home I rang in a panic was the first in her area to get an outstanding CQC rating and happened to have a vacancy (they’ve currently got a waiting list). I’m paying the fees from my pension savings with DB’s agreement I’ll get the money back when mums house is sold. When mum arrived the care home manager was very shocked that the LA said she could go home from hospital, and said they already had residents in a much better state than mum that the LA funds.

There’s a resident there that I was chatting to on a recent visit who was telling me how much she loved it there. No cleaning or laundry to do, nice home cooked food prepared for her, regular days out (they do a weekly trip to the local pub for bingo!), always someone to chat to if she wants and if not there’s a quiet conservatory to sit and read the paper. I think with recent advances in medical treatments, our elderlies are now surviving previously fatal medical events, but then “existing” in poor health for their last years. So there’s a much greater need for care homes these days than ever before. I’ve seen how it can be done right at mums home and it’s a very long way from the days of the sitcom “waiting for God” when every single one of those residents would be living at home these days!

A different council from the one she currently lives in will not fund her. She needs to self fund. Otherwise she needs to try the POC they are offering, only once this is increased to the maximum and it is breaking down frequently will they consider funding anything / anywhere else, and this would be the same council unless very specific care needs that cannot be met by the council she is in.

@Blueuggbootsagain you’ll be up against the barrier of her not having the level of need that is required for extra care sheltered. The council will not fund it. Looking at options outside her home borough then complicates it even further, as their responsibility it to manage her needs within their jurisdiction.

I know what you mean. My mum uses a wheeled walker. They're great. But yeah it's not easy getting on and off busses with one..despite them supposedly having a ramp.

I'm glad you're going to try and get extra care at home.

It's good she says she wants/doesn't mind the concept of a care home when the time comes. But for now try and just give her as much supported independence as you can.