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Elderly parents
Original poster

Elderly care options in England 101

31 replies

MrsC09 · 02/11/2025 02:01

Hello, we’re at the early stages of looking into options for my mother-in-law who currently lives in London. We live in Australia which is obviously very difficult as our parents back home are starting to age. My MIL has lived alone for 40 years and owns her own flat in London (maybe worth around £500k). She has a pension but not a lot of other funds. She’s starting to get a bit batty and needs to drive everywhere where she currently lives, which won’t be sustainable for much longer. She has 2 other children in the uk, however relationships and finances are a bit fraught on that side on the family so we’re trying to find options that won’t put a burden on them.

We haven’t lived in England for so long (or had to deal with this scenario) so are clueless to what options are available.

MIL is still mentally “ok” and can live on her own but is probably a couple of years away from not coping. She’s really struggling with organising trades to fix things in her flat etc. Her flat is very old & everything is coming to the end of its life at the same time. She’s also starting to get a bit muddled with appointment times etc.

Physically she has issues which means she can’t walk far so relies on her car to do everything. She also has a lot of drs / hospital appointments that she needs to get to.

She’s very sociable.

She’s not ready for a full-on care home (and wouldn’t be open to that anyway).

Are retirement villages a thing in the UK? It would be great if she could sell her flat and buy something where all the facilities are easily accessible and some social life. Or are they just insanely expensive? Happy for all of her capital to go towards her future and just want to find something nice for her. She has family in London, Cornwall & Devon so she would probably be happy in any of those (as long as the health care facilities are accessible).

All my research just shows how dire the situation is in England so I’d be very appreciative of any guidance on where to start. My husband is going back in May for a visit so it would be great if we can set it up so we can help her move whilst he’s there.

Thanks in advance for any advice!

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 02/11/2025 07:57

101:

there are basically two systems, one for people with money “self funding” one for people without,

she has money so is self funding.

there are schemes where you can buy a flat and there is a warden and some communal facilities on site. Google over 55 housing. The services vary.

other alternatives:
carers coming in. This is a standard option and there are many care agencies that offer these packages,

live in carers. Less standard and very expensive.

finally care homes.

rookiemere · 02/11/2025 07:52

I think the issue with retirement properties are that they are only suitable for a short period in time. If she does have dementia, then it will only be a stop gap for a couple of years maximum.
If she is amenable to the idea of moving, I would focus on finding somewhere close to the centre of somewhere with good amenities that doesn’t need a car. Ideally somewhere without a garden to reduce maintenance, and - I hate saying this - but best location is one close to relatives who might be willing to take an interest.

Nsky62 · 02/11/2025 05:48

I think you need residential care homes, with one moving to nursing if needed .
Alternative rent somewhere? Buy in services as needed
As others say avoid mc Carthy and stone

Bluecrystal2 · 02/11/2025 03:03

Be very careful about retirement flats. It can be similar to the new timeshare con.

Ask about the service charges, (these can be frightening and go up in time ) other fees(a lot of facilities are not part of service charge but you cannot always opt out) , restrictions etc etc.

What if you want to sell up ? Often you may have to wait years as restrictions mean not anyone can buy it. Worse, if the company buys it they will want a discount between 25 and 40%. If it’s a sale as part of your estate, terms can be considerably worst.

Whatever you do don’t act in haste, despite salespeople offering you all kinds of inducement or putting pressure. Collect all the paperwork and consult your family and friends but most of all a lawyer specialising in property.

There's a great nursing home near me (1,500 to 1,900 per week). They don't chuck residents out if the money dries up. Care if you want it, or live independently with lots of people to keep an eye out.

bubzie · 02/11/2025 02:06

First of all 500k buys you practically nothing in London.
There are groups like these who do sheltered housing flats but I gather there are issues when you come to sell.

https://www.mccarthyandstone.co.uk/retirement-properties-for-sale/?q=London%2C+England

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