When do people usually get ‘dementia’ - IF they’re going to get it?

My GM was flying abroad alone at 86. By 89 she had dementia, didn’t recognise family and was incontinent. She passed at that age.

Sorry to jump on your thread op, but from peoples experience - is it likely to be hereditary?

For example if your mum died of diagnosed and fairly severe dementia fairly young (70s), are you likely to get it at a similar age??

Mum currently being assessed for dementia at age 86. Started getting bad about a year ago, and has declined quickly.

Dad age 90 also shows signs but more on the ball than Mum.

My aunt is 101 this November. I went to visit her earlier this year and apart from a couple of times she got a but muddled about dates, she was incredibly on the ball.
I also work sometimes with dementia patients and the ages range from 60 to upper 80s. There really is no age to be honest. It's just a bunch of horrible conditions that seem to strike randomly. We have an ex CEO of a massive organisation down to a very ordinary ex carpenter with everything in-between.

Horrible

My granny was as sharp as a tack and it was very much physical issues that killed her. 3 of my husband’s grandparents had dementia and it was painful to see. The decline in all of them happened in their 80s and all had hearing loss which I’m convinced has a link as you can see if is just much harder to engage socially. I’ve seen that with my own mum as well and hearing really does seem to be so critical to staying socially integrated.

My late father started to develop dementia after he had a major necessary surgery & his recovery became quite challenging as he argued with Mum & Carers more often. My MIL had a fall during a night & was burned with a kettle of water - the shock of her burn & possible concussion started her own journey with dementia.
So my thoughts are that for some people an event or shock can precipitate a change in brain function leading to dementia of varying degrees. But it's still a wicked disease that takes away the person you know & love.

My grandmother lived to 96 and was sharp until the end, although frail physically. She was still capable of following and participating in a conversation.

I noticed a gradual decline in my NDN over a decade. She became more and more argumentative with her husband and needed his help to do simple things like pinning washing on the line. She was also incapable of understanding or followig simple instructions. She could not operate a smart phone. When he died suddenly her decline was very noticeable. He had handled all the finances and the bills and she was no longer capable of managing on her own. It was clear that he had shielded her to a large extent from the problems of everyday life.

Ive noticed that I sometimes have difficulty in recalling a particular word or name. However I can explain what I mean or choose another word. For example I cannot recall "deportation" but I can use exile, sending away or banishment.

This is NOT dementia.

It is age-related recall loss and a normal part of getting older. I can always remember the word I want later. Sometimes I actually know that the word begins with the letter B! Minor problems like this are common in older people and do not interfere with daily life. People my age (81) can still be fully capable of doing a job and living independently.

The likelihood increases with age. My Dm was in her very early 80s when the first signs appeared - she went on to 97.

OTOH a friend’s neighbour showed the first signs at only around 70, deteriorated very fast, and was dead within about 3 years. Must say that if I ever get it, God forbid, I’d like the galloping variety, please - no sense in prolonging the worry and stress for the family.

Still, a GM went on to her late 80s with no dementia, and her father, my GGF, went on to his mid 90s with no sign, so 🤞.

Starting at 97. Definitely dementia. Think it really varies.

Yes, I think a fall seems to accelerate cognitive decline. That happened to my parent. I still worry that they might have recovered better at home (a dementia unit is a horrible place to end your days), but there was no way they could be safely cared for at home as they had lost the plot.

My mum was 67 ish (early onset, died at 74)
my nan in her late 70s
my uncle late 70s (head injury type as he was a boxer)

My mum was fine until she had a fall last year aged 90 and broke her hip.
It was like a switch and since then has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. She's now 92, still lives independently and has been static for a year.

DH's nan was pretty ok till early 90s then her cognitive function sharply declined from around 92 till she died age 101. She was in her own home with a LOT of support till she was around 94ish then in a nursing home for the remainder.

My FIL was 67, at 68 he was in a nursing home and hadn't a clue who anyone was

My great aunt got dementia in her late 90s, around 98, for the last few years of her life - she lived to be 101. It seemed to be triggered or worsened by the death of her sister.

My gran and relatives all started showing signs in their early 70s it was mixed altzheimers i think it was called. They died in their early 80s my mum is starting to show symptoms she is 73.

My late mil.died at 61 with vascular dementia it was a quick onset

My Mum started with it in her early 70s. We didn't realise it at the time, but looking back it's when her personality started to change. Lock down was what changed everything - the cognitive decline was severe. Her last couple of years were very hard, and she died at 79.

The geriatrics team she was under, said it was very common, as the social isolation was a critical factor. It really emphasises the importance of not just staying mentally active, but also socially connected.

My mother died at 84 with vascular dementia. I’d say she had been showing signs in her 70s & the pandemic did her no favours. My father died recently at 92 and probably caring for my mother hastened his decline. But it was much much later.

My DM at 86 became more demanding and dependent after a very serious illness. She became unreasonable in her demands of me but still remained her self in most respects, especially to people outside the family. Then came the first lockdown which she loved - my daughters and I spent hours with her because there was nothing else to do.

A friend of mine who was part of our bubble (remember those!) was aware of her deterioration and pointed out to me that I needed to place boundaries to protect myself as I was in denial of what was going on. Within a few weeks of me becoming aware that her problems were the early signs of dementia she was in hospital after a severe bout of constipation and the dementia was obvious.

My DMiL is 90 and lives more or less independently with my sister in law keeping a close eye on her medication and physical health which is not good. Mentally however is she as she has always been. She has requested that if we are visiting please can we avoid mealtimes as she is too tired to cook for us all and she can no longer drive to visit us (an hour door to door). So when we visit we take a picnic lunch and eat with her. We make the drinks and wash up and clear away so that she has nothing to do other than talk to us. She says she is getting old and struggling which no doubt she is but her mind is as sharp as ever.

As others have said, completely impossible to predict and you are never 'in the clear'.

Best to focus on prevention measures - diet, exercise, social interaction, mental activity, cardiovascular health, cholesterol levels - none of which are a guarantee, but they can improve the odds.

MIL is 97 and showing no signs of dementia. FIL lived to 93 and likewise had no signs of dementia.
My parents lived to 86 & 87 and neither had any signs of the disease. I'm hoping that's a good omen for both of us!

My mum died age 93 and never had any dementia at all. My dad developed it aged 70.

This chart shows the prevalence of dementia in the UK, by gender (how many people have it - so the bar for 80 year olds includes those diagnosed earlier and still living with it):

commonslibrary.parliament.uk/dementia-age-and-deprivation-differences/

I think social isolation is a risk factor for cognitive decline and dementia, so becoming housebound is not good for many reasons. Would she consider a move to somewhere, if not a care home then some kind of supported/sheltered accommodation, where it would be easier to provide care and there could be more chance of social interaction?

My parents were housebound for years, but they had each other plus carers and cleaners etc as well as family visits. Even so, the isolation was not good for them.