Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

The hospital admission merry-go round

28 replies

pineforest · 05/10/2025 20:21

I know I won’t be the only one, but I am exhausted by my father’s seemingly never ending hospital admissions.

He is 77 and has stage 4 prostate cancer as well as mobility issues and severe swelling (edema) in the legs meaning he is basically housebound. He is also overweight due to lack of mobility.

For the last 12 months we have been trapped in an endless cycle. He will be admitted to hospital due to an infection. These seem to switch between a UTI and cellulitis of the leg. He’ll be there a week on antibiotics. We get him home, spend 2-3 weeks trying to get him back to his normal routine only for a week later him to end up back in hospital again.

We have a district nurse visit twice a week to clean and dress his legs. He also has a carer twice a day (only for 15 mins a time). But it’s exhausting. Everytime I think he’s back on the up….ill get the call saying he’s taken a turn again and ends up back in A&E.

Today I get that call from my brother who says dad isn’t well, leg is hot and he is confused. So ambulance called and he is admitted again for cellulitis and more antibiotics.
The hospital can’t seem to give me an answer on why this keeps happening and how we can stop the cycle. They just say once you’ve had cellulitis you’re more prone to it and his cancer also means his immune system is low.
I don’t want to lose my dad (my mum passed say last year) but his quality of life is so poor with these constant admissions and infections. He keeps saying he doesn’t want to be here anymore.

I’m not sure what I want anyone to say, I guess I just needed to write it all down.

OP posts:
TwoFatDucklings · 05/10/2025 20:44

Is it time to consider a nursing home so that he can receive more care?

For his legs - Does he wear prescription compression socks/stockings? Does he moisturise his legs? Would he do any seated physio to move his legs?

For the UTIs - Is he drinking enough to help prevent them Would a low level prophylactic antibiotic be a thing to suggest to help prevent them?
Or is his prostate preventing him from fully emptying his bladder? Has he/could he have a TURP? Has once/twice daily self catheterisation been suggested to fully empty his bladder?

Is he on any antidepressants? Have they been considered?

How well controled is his cancer? If his immune system is low, is he having chemo/had chemo? Have alternatives been discussed such as antiandrogens like enzalutamide?

Are you able to advocate for him with the Drs?

pineforest · 05/10/2025 20:34

Yes virtual fragility ward has been mentioned before. But that seemed to be more about accessing blood tests and physio at home. When dad seemed unwell again today we called the district nurses who said to call an ambulance to take him to hospital.
He has a DNR form. I don’t know if that’s the same as a Respect form.

OP posts:
Mycatissohandsome · 05/10/2025 20:26

You should have a Virtual ward / Rapid response service if you live in England that he can be referred into to try and keep him at home. Google it for your location. Does he have a respect form? What are his wishes?

Essentially you can’t stop him being ill but his admissions to hospital can be looked at and whether community care would be more appropriate. There is huge push for community treatment these days. Maybe worth a discussion with his GP.

Swipe left for the next trending thread