What would you do if your sibling refused to help?

This isn't clear cut and although the post is relatively long, the most important information is missing.

Exactly what help does your parent need, and could this help be paid for?

If the help could be paid for and your patent can afford to pay, your sibling is under no moral responsibility to give up their freedom to do it instead even if you are.

If it's a matter of visiting the parent in hospital to show emotional support, your sibling should do that sometimes unless there's history you don't know/ care about.

Some support (mainly organisational and administrative) is almost impossible to outsource but also fairly tricky to share unless you all sit down together.

Outsourcing is the answer for hands on stuff.

Our gp runs a patient transport service, volunteers take patients to appointments.

I don’t think there is much you can do.

Don’t take in extra obligations yourself, you can only do. What you can do.

Is there any possibility that Absent Sibling would chip in for taxi costs, or a cleaner, or whatever?

Also, do they really need taking to all appointments? There are taxis and hospital transport. It’s hard to fit hospital appointments into the working week.

It's not fair OP, but you can't force someone to help. My DH's sibling lives abroad and visits once every two or three years so the whole thing falls on DH. It's just how it is.

What you can do is figure out what you personally are willing to do and get help for the things you can't do. Some paid carers will take to appointments etc, or you could arrange a taxi. (Obviously your parent should pay for this, not you.)

I think you can’t make someone else step up. Do the bits you want, can your parent pay for care? Claim attendance allowance? Qualify for reablement care from the council?

There are options available.

I have no idea where that ridiculous gif came from, sorry, will report to mnhq,

I refused to help my siblings with our mother despite the fact I wasn’t working and lived very close to her. You never know what someone is going through and it’s wrong to assume it is just selfishness. They may have private reasons to refuse and not be able to cope with it. Or like me there could have been abuse. If they won’t help look at how you can get care / support funded .

There is no obligation on any of you to help, what help and support does your parent need, do they have any professional help, ars they involved in arranging anything themselves..

Divide it by three and your parent can fund the missing section of care.

Whilst I agree with you from a moral perspective, sometimes people don’t want to or aren’t able to do what others want them to do and they are able to say no to that.