Problem diamond ring

Yes, I would ask your mother to give it to her niece now. Problem solved.

My MIL is still alive but I am aware she has made some spiteful bequests in her will in order to divide and settle scores with daughter in laws in particular (although the solicitor advised otherwise). DH and his brother are executors and will have to smooth over as best they can and not hurt or offend as she intends.

It’s not in the will and it’s low value, I would humour your mother. Decide what to do after her passing. Is there a specific reason for that niece getting it? If so just explain what it is if you decide to pass it on.

If she has promised it to more than one person, just explain your mother was confused etc and suggest selling it and splitting the proceeds unless they come up with another solution.

IMO it’s pretty pointless leaving objects to nieces/nephews that they don’t want anyway and if they are not close. Unless it’s a small amount of cash I wouldn’t bother.

Eugh, the dramas I have seen over such things. I feel for you. In your circumstances I'd suggest either:
-If no-one else knows about her comment, keep the ring yourself for a while and decide what to do after some time has passed.

• If more people do know, well that's fine it's her decision, not yours and you are not responsible for it, for what she does or says or thinks.

Which is why I said "or other small keepsake".

Agree, get her to do an informal letter of wishes, keep it in her jewellery box.

The OP says there isn’t a whole lot of jewellery to share out

So you are your mother’s ONLY surviving dc? And everything goes to you?

the nieces are your mother’s siblings dc yes?

your cousin who asked to see the ring is your uncle’s dd yes?

why would they feel entitled to anything. This is YOUR mother. She has left everything to YOU. Whatever verbal instruction she gave you as her only dc and the only beneficiary to her will is for you to carry out. No one else gets a say. If anyone complains just tell them to go have it out with her (which they can’t as she will be dead). Presumably there is no advantage to you to give it to your one niece so that’s evidence enough that she asked you to do this.

what she may have told other people is irrelevant as you are her dc and the only beneficiary.

Relative of ours had written in will that expensive jewellery was to go to granddaughter.( her sons daughter )
but spent her life telling her daughter it would go to her .
Dishonest and a horrible thing to do .
At least you have the chance to chat to mum and possibly write down what she wants to happen .

This is good advice. But also if your neices are disappointed because of something your mum has done that’s not your issue to solve. You are taking too much responsibility (typical when you have a difficult mother).

I agree with this. Give each niece/nephew a piece of jewellery or other small keepsake.

She doesn't need to amend her will. She should do a letter of wishes (at home, no solicitor).

I don't see anything wrong with giving her niece the ring. But you could encourage her to identify other small personal items to go to other family members that could be included in her LoW.

Your mum can do a “letter of wishes” which sets out who should get the ring and any other sentimental things. It is not legally binding but does give you paperwork to show what she wants.

You legally inherit it, you dont particually want it

So you give it to your Uncle, the person you think should have it.Perhaps say that you think your mum thought Cousin Sarah would like it,but you'll leave that up to him

Did she give any particular reason for it going to this niece - eg her own mother had wanted that, or this niece had always been particularly fond of the ring, or whatever?

If the will has everything going to you, then legally you can give the ring to whoever - it’s yours to give as a gift if you want. I think I’d just give the niece the ring. But I’d probably ask my mum “as you’ve said you’d like X to get the ring, is there anything specific you wanted to give your other nieces and nephew?”

As the executor you follow the will. That’s it. You don’t have to give reasons as to why anyone has done anything. Let her bequeath whatever she wants to whomever she wants and any fall out is on your mum, not you and your mum will no longer be here to have to give explanations.

Type out a letter of wishes staying who has the ring and get your mum to sign it. Ideally with a couple of witnesses. Not yourself though as you are a beneficiary of the will. Then it is in black and white.
tell your mum you can’t pass on the ring unless she does this.

From recent experience I would keep an eye on the ring and anything else valuable, especially if a DCousin has alrwsdy been asking.

😂 I love Agatha Christie but I was thinking more low key and less big reveal! More sort of a loving message to the whole family, maybe a few personal words to each person. Then a quick moment where she states she’s left everything to you, as is likely expected, but she does want dear niece to have the ring because…. Insert reason here?

Could your mum make a short video (with help of course), only to be played after her death, that expressed her wishes? She would be assured no one would see it until she’s gone but it would then be clear that this was not your decision at least?

Of course people have the right to pass on their property as they choose. The problem is that OP's mum isn't doing this. She isn't giving it to her niece now, and she isn't leaving it to her niece in her will, or even telling her whole family her wishes publicly.

Instead, she's trying to make OP be the one to give the ring away after her death on the basis of a private (disputable) conversation. This is going to cause a shitshow for OP, particularly if she's been having other private conversations and telling more than one person that they'll be the one to get the ring. Which actually seems very likely, given that a different cousin has been asking to see the ring, and OP has already noticed that her mum has been saying one thing to her and another to her cousins.

Follow her wishes for goodness sake. Why can’t people let others do what they want with their property

It’s your mum’s ring and her wish to give it to the neice. She will have her reasons, you need to respect that. You don’t want it, so just give it to the niece. The other family will just have to get on with it. Or have the ring valued and give all the others the same value of money from your inheritance, but still give the neice the ring.