But you’re my carer!

I’ve got some comfort food and comfort viewing tv while Dd is out with her dad then it’s hello take away pizza and maybe a film with Dd later.
Im on the verge of tears constantly and despite knowing how awful my family are, it’s still a shock just how nasty.
Thank you for the support. It’s given me the strength to stand up for myself for once.

SS are putting in care immediately and will do an assessment too while they’re at it. I’ve been accused by mum of abandoning her to social services which is just hyperbolic crap. My aunt has said I’m destroying the family. I’m not helping things apparently and it’s my fault anyway. No good deed an all that.

I’m very just been told by aunt that I’m going to be the death of my mum and that it will be all my fault and how immature I am because I’m refusing to unblock her. She wants me to unblock her because she’s decided I should have been included in the appointment yesterday and now wants me to do something regarding the consultant. This from the woman who made the appointment the yesterday and then said she wouldn’t take her. I’m done. My mum asked Dd after telling her her gcse results to speak to me and she’s going on about I’m making her ill and to unblock aunt. I said it’s making me ill too and I’ll phone her back later. I’ll phone her while Dd is out with her dad but mum and aunt have totally put a downer on what was a great day with DD’s results. I’m so proud of her and now feel like I’ve got a weight around my heart dragging me down. I’m anxious. My blood pressure is up and I’m totally overwhelmed. It stops today.

The appointment was this evening and my aunt has travelled a fair distance to take her after telling her she would get her a private appointment.
I’ve now had emails from the care agency to say my mum rang them to ask for carers to go in but can I tell them more? No. Ask her what she wants because she can’t seem to articulate it to me when I’ve asked her.
Mum’s sister and my sister will happily leave mum tonight and go off to their respective homes regardless of whether or not they think she can manage.

I feel like telling everyone to fuck off. They treat me like shit then act so offended when I bite back.
I remember a good one when I was early 20s and my brother was over and he wanted to go out with his girlfriend and my sister and BIL. They are 10-15 years older than me. They wanted me to babysit my sister’s 4 kids and I said no because I was waiting to see if my friend was free to go out to the cinema/pub/whatever. I was called selfish and difficult and told I’d ruined their evening. I don’t think I babysat again for years after that little show of entitlement. They’d never have thought to invite me out with them. Never did.
I am so angry tonight. The GP is monitoring my blood pressure (I have a machine at home) and thankfully it’s staying normal by some miracle. I could cry though after the last few days. Bastards.

@Binglebongyes, we are, so I’ll ask about that. I can access it from my phone but then it sends a code to mum’s phone to log in which can be a pain. Having them connected would save that bit of pain.

The shit has majorly hit the fan today. My mum has a private appointment that her sister is taking her to. Mum told me my sister is going with them so my aunt has kicked off at mum telling me and is now refusing to take her. Mum and I had agreed yesterday that she’d call me during the appointment so that I can hear what the surgeon says and ask any questions. We’ve done this before with NHS appointments no bother if I haven’t been able to be physically there because it’s school pick up time or similar. Aunt is kicking off that she was going to record the consultation (!) and send it me. She kept butting in to the conversation between my mum and me and said she’s not taking her anymore. Ffs she’s behaving like a child.

I’m not sure it ever does. She just think La it’s very expensive but doesn’t relate that to me.
I’ve been asked today (on my day off and when another family member is with her) to contact the care agency and see if they can start care tomorrow. I’ve given her the number and said no. I’m expecting ting huge backlash.
I told her last night I’m not taking any money anymore and write out the jobs I do so that she can compile a job description after she got upset and said she’d get someone else. She doesn’t want anyone else to help her. I get that because it’s not nice having strangers help you when family know you well but my foot is down. I’ll help her but I’m not breaking my back to do it. The one who has been vile to me this week is the one there today so she can deal with stuff.

I’ve sorted out medicine deliveries and dosette boxes.
Her physical condition is a lot worse than originally known-we got some test results back today and it could be life changing. We will know more after seeing the consultant. It’s no wonder she’s been struggling so much. The outcome of the consultant appointment will guide what help she needs short and long term.
Thank you for all the suggestions, especially those which were with kindness rather than blame.