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Elderly parents
Original poster

If your lo has dementia and is in a care facility, how much is it costing per week.

156 replies

TheSummerGrinch · 14/08/2025 13:24

I know it all depends the area etc.

Mum has Alzheimer's, 7 years in to it now.

She wasn't doing too badly, she lives at home with dad and between my sister and I and a morning carer we were doing ok. Mum was (mainly) continent and went to a day centre twice a week. Things were stressful as they are with dementia but ok.

However, that all changed 6 weeks ago. Mum fell in the garden breaking her hand, dislocating her knee and fracturing her neck. Although mum is ok now with her physical injuries the 3 week stay in hospital has exacerbated her dementia. They allowed her to toilet in the bed and now she is double incontinent.

She came home two weeks ago. She is still often double incontinent although the carers are able to get her on the commode or toilet. They can also get her walking with support and a frame but she is still very weak (she also has osteoporosis and breast cancer). Our carers are wonderful but it's hard going.

We have 6 carers working on a rota 4 times a day but it's very expensive and it still leaves 20 hours a day where mum is either in mine, my sister's or my elderly father's care. We are exhausted and miserable.

We never wanted to put mum in care, no one does but I can't help thinking for maybe not much more than we are paying for the carers to come 4 hours a day we could have mum looked after 24/7 and gain some life back for ourselves?

Tbh, I hate to even contemplate it, I hate the thought of her in care but I'm done. Going to my parents on an almost daily basis has wiped me out.

How much do you pay for a care home privately?

OP posts:
squishee · 14/08/2025 14:13

Again, about 7000 per month for DM with Alzheimer 's and other types (in the SE.).
It's mind- boggling.

chowmeinz · 14/08/2025 14:12

1400 a week, in Scotland

Iloveeverycat · 14/08/2025 14:12

£1,950. a week

CarpeDiem83 · 14/08/2025 13:58

For us it ended up being around £7,500 - £8,000 a month for dementia care in the SE (outer London). The care home were fab and it was much less stressful than using live-in carers at home (and much the same price). It's also worth looking into NHS continuing healthcare funding, notoriously difficult to get for dementia but we managed it for my mum with the help of an advice firm (they weren't great to be honest, but not sure how it would have gone without them). Applied once Mum was in the care home and they backdated to the date of application. Also applied for my Dad and didn't get it though.

Original poster
TheSummerGrinch · 14/08/2025 13:55

katgab · 14/08/2025 13:50

We paid about £7500-7800 per month depending on the length of the month in the south east. Fees went up in April but we had a couple of months notice. Mum did not have a diagnosis of dementia but had increasing care needs. By the time she went into the home I was on my knees trying to care for her and juggle other care responsibilities. She lasted about 18 months, passing in May. I’m still traumatised by it all. She wasn’t very happy there but she was unsafe on her own with only a little care from a carer and a weekly cleaner and I (her only child) was with her several times a day (I lived in the same street) could no longer cope. Though she was pretty miserable (she was at home as well) she was well cared for and though my heart broke a bit more every time I visited (2-3 times a week, it was a 70 mile round trip), it was a relief not having the feeling of constant responsibility.

I really do feel for you, it absolutely destroys you doesn't it, never really knowing what to do for the best?

We have tried so hard to keep mum in the home she's known for the last 50 years, we will keep the 4 times a day care going but I really can't see it lasting if mum can't get somewhere back to how she was and that's so doubtful.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mum. What a horrible thing dementia is.

OP posts:
katgab · 14/08/2025 13:50

We paid about £7500-7800 per month depending on the length of the month in the south east. Fees went up in April but we had a couple of months notice. Mum did not have a diagnosis of dementia but had increasing care needs. By the time she went into the home I was on my knees trying to care for her and juggle other care responsibilities. She lasted about 18 months, passing in May. I’m still traumatised by it all. She wasn’t very happy there but she was unsafe on her own with only a little care from a carer and a weekly cleaner and I (her only child) was with her several times a day (I lived in the same street) could no longer cope. Though she was pretty miserable (she was at home as well) she was well cared for and though my heart broke a bit more every time I visited (2-3 times a week, it was a 70 mile round trip), it was a relief not having the feeling of constant responsibility.

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