I don't particularly need advice because my Mother won't fucking well take it on board anyway. She's just winding me up because we can all see an imminent crisis looming except for her.
Mum is 83, widowed and has resources, more money than she could possibly spend so she can have whatever type of twilight years that she wants but she needs to be thinking about what she wants and to put plans into place. But, no, she's apparently 'not at that stage yet'.
She lives in a house that she and my Dad built early in their marriage, she has a glorious garden of about half an acre and a great view because she's on the side of a hill. She never wants to move out and I am happy to support that if it's what she wants. However, she can't get anywhere without a car and it's a bastard of a road that is about a car and a half wide for most of it, so that cars need to pull into gateways to pass. I'm not thrilled about her driving at all, although there haven't been any incidents and she doesn't go out at night. She has a lovely cleaner, who was previously a carer for my deceased uncle, who goes to Mum every weekday morning. She takes Mum to the supermarket and to appointments if they are in the mornings. But she has young DC and goes with them back to her home country for a month in the summer. Mum will, deliberately, not tell us when she goes away because we will fuss (ie check up on her more frequently).
So now, today, there is a mini crisis. The type of thing that I told her would happen and that she needs to plan for. She had to have a minor eye operation, she only told me about it last week. Her lovely cleaner is away and not back until the end of August. I dropped her into the hospital, went up to the house to let the puppy (that we told her not to get because she really can't properly care for him) out for a wee, picked her up from hospital, got her prescription and some painkillers and care items. She's not allowed to drive until after the follow up appointment in two weeks. AND YET APPPARENTLY SHE DOESN'T NEED ANYBODY'S HELP. She is driving me insane. She was sitting in the passenger seat of my car after hours of me too-ing and fro-ing and saying without a hint of irony that she never has and never will ask me for anything. She is still insisting that she is not yet at the stage of needing any sort of care or help.
AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!