Just having a ranty rant

She has one of those @bjonesreborn, it lives in a drawer in her kitchen.

I'm back for a quick update. There's been changes that are both good and bad at the same time.

Mum's regular cleaner is back from holiday and going in every weekday morning. My cleaner and Mum got along really well so she is now going to Mum one afternoon a week, and Mum also has the other carer one afternoon a week. Which is really useful for things like hair appointments etc. When my cleaner first went up to Mum, Mum told her that I was a bossy bitch who stole her dog (when he was off being house trained) because I was jealous because my dog is boring and has no personality. I will own the bossy bitch part, but trash talking about my lovely dog is going too far.

Mum has voluntarily given up driving, which is a huge worry off my mind (good) but she does live off the beaten track so she's now completely reliant on other people (bad).

The puppy has gone, good because he will hopefully go to a lovely active family but sad because he was her only company for part of the day. He tripped Mum up and she couldn't get back up off the floor and he was bouncing all over her and doing puppy nips. She phoned my friend, the one who house trained him, to ask if she could take him for a couple of days. When friend asked when she wanted her to take him, Mum said 'now, because I'm on the floor and can't get up'. My friend had a chat with Mum and they decided that they might wait a few weeks and then go to the rehoming place to see if they had any quiet, adult dogs that might suit her better. Mum absolutely forbid my friend from telling me that she'd had a fall caused by the puppy, so my friend waited until she was in the car on the way home and then phoned me anyway. DB has gone up this evening to check on Mum and get the puppy paperwork.

We are trying to find someone to sleep overnight, although Mum is massively resistant to the idea. She doesn't need any personal care but she's not capable of getting up by herself if she falls so it would be good to have someone around who could call us if needed, or an ambulance if needed and has the maturity to know which is the better option. According to Mum, she never falls. I should resist but every time she says that, I list the most recent falls. I should just ignore her and not let her trigger me because she just claims I'm making stuff up. I'm also a bit worried about her taking her medication which seems erratic. I'm especially worried about her eye drops for glaucoma, as far as I can tell from counting the drop capsules she is only remembering to do it once or twice a week. They're done at bedtime so I'm not there to remind her but hopefully if we do find someone to sleep over and they remind her as she's off to bed then she will do it.

I know, I know. But there isn't much that I can do really except what I can. We were pretty sure that she wouldn't be able to organise a puppy for herself so DB and I were just putting up with her asking us to help and then being pissed off with us when we refused. I don't know the person who arranged the puppy for her so I can't get in contact with her to take the dog back and anyway Mum turns into some kind of passive aggressive dementor when told that it's not good for the puppy to be with someone like her so she would probably never talk to me again.

I will set up a dog walker when he's a little older so he will be socialised with other dogs. When Mum was your age she would also have thought that people over 80 shouldn't have puppies, but then she became over 80 and she would quite like everyone and their opinions to fuck right off.

My sympathies to everyone also having issues with elderly relatives. It's just exhausting and I'm completely not the right personality for going with the flow when she agrees one thing and then denies that she ever agreed, in fact denies that the subject was even raised.

The lady who looks after my aunt is delightful and Mum got on really well with her when they met this afternoon. So she's going to come one afternoon a week for a couple of hours, Mum seemed to be looking forward to it but will mostly likely be surprised when she turns up.

The puppy is going to my friend's house for a week to hopefully be house trained. Mum refused when I raised it last week, then thought it would be a good idea when we brought it up at lunchtime today. Apparently she still thought it was a good idea in DB's car while he was driving her home. But by the time I was up there so she could meet the potential carer she was all upset that people were 'stealing her dog'. She also said that he didn't poo indoors despite my DB having just cleaned one up in the kitchen. The dog is still going, I will go and meet my friend up there and dognap him if we have to. Hopefully it will only take a week for him to get the hang of it.

Unfortunately taxis won't pick up from Mum's place, they will take an advance booking on the app and then cancel at the time for pick up. If she tries to use the app at the time that she wants to leave then there aren't usually any within 10 minutes drive and she won't get an acceptance. So she can only ever get a taxi to her house and not from her house.

My friend was telling me yesterday that her mother used to complain that she didn't need people always around and coming in and out of the house. So my friend said "If that's what you want we can give it a day without help and see how you get on". Then while my friend was still standing there her mum decided to go to the loo and couldn't get up out of her chair. My friend did help her, obviously, but not until her mum agreed that help was needed. Although that only stopped the denial for the rest of that day.

Anyway, my cleaner is now going up to Mum three mornings a week until Mum's cleaner gets back and on Sunday we are meeting with someone who is a carer for my aunt who may be able to do two afternoons a week helping with whatever Mum needs like driving her to places or running errands etc.

Mum says that she doesn't need anything but what worked well yesterday was sending her a text at about 9am to say I would be up at lunchtime and to send me a text if she needed anything. That gave her time to think without pressure and she sent me a couple of texts (butter and white wine, the essentials). So I think I'll do that at least every second day and I can also check her fridge and she what she needs.

My DB is great, I read so many threads on here where the daughter is doing all the running around and the son does nothing. My DB goes up to her at the weekends and he has taken over all her admin, bill paying, insurance forms etc. So at least the load is shared.