Falls and needing a wee in the small hours

31 replies

Topsyturvey10 · 12/08/2025 19:28

The challenge is my elderly mother had just had her knee done, she wants a wee regular as clockwork in the early hours of the morning. I’m worried that this is the time she might fall, I’ve already got Alexa’s in the house and am looking at wristbands to notify me but I wondered if there is any advice out there about reducing the need for a wee?

I'm changing her to decaf tea bags and stopping her having them after 8pm. I don’t really know what else to do?

A general question, how does everyone else manage elderly parents who live alone? I’m not far away but I work FT and I can’t ever see me being able to have a holiday or trip away again. There are no other siblings that can help.

OP posts:

Onmywayhometonight · 12/08/2025 19:39

Not sure reducing liquid consumption is a great idea - could lead to kidney problems. Mil wears a nappy but still insists on getting up. We have a fall monitor on her wrist and we have sensors around the house, so if she didn’t move around when she should be moving we’d know about it.

mauvishagain · 12/08/2025 19:37

Re the nightime wee, I'd agree about getting a commode. Also,make sure she keeps her leg up during the day - if not, it will swell up and then she'll pee out the extra fluid overnight. Does she take water tablets? If so, she still needs to, first thing in the morning so that work to reduce the fluid build up during the day. Cut back on caffeine, as you have - and on alcohol, if she drinks!

If you can't get a commode then you need to look at how to make the trip to the bathroom as safe as possible. Does she sleep on the same floor as the toilet? IS the route adequately lit? (remember that older eyes need more light to see clearly!) Any trip hazards along the way - flexes, rugs etc? Will she go barefoot - it's safer than slippers which can slip off all too easily! I'm sure other people will have other ideas.

Re longer term, maybe you need to look at getting a social services assessment? At the very least, if you feel you can't safely leave her, then you should look at attendance allowance for her and carer's allowance for yourself. If nothing else, they will make a small dent in the cost of paying for some care now and then so that you can go away. That's if your mother will accept that, of course!

But hopefully if she's had a new knee, and does her rehab, then she might actually eventually be better than she has been? That's the point of the surgery, after all!

Original poster

Topsyturvey10 · 12/08/2025 19:35

I hadn’t though of a commode, I’m not sure she will like it but it would reduce the risk. Thank you

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 12/08/2025 19:31

She will need to be assessed for help and or pay for help
She cold look at renting out a room to a lodger who gives back time for free rent,?

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strawberriesandraspberries · 12/08/2025 19:31

ExitPursuedByABare · 12/08/2025 19:30

Can you fit a commode by her bed so that she doesn’t need to go far?

This would be my suggestion too

ExitPursuedByABare · 12/08/2025 19:30

Can you fit a commode by her bed so that she doesn’t need to go far?

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