Falls and needing a wee in the small hours

If there's a pride angle the ‘you don’t want an ambulance to have to come because you’ve called and you have to explain you didn’t think you needed it. Better some extra things to lean on if you need them than that’.

If there's a pride angle the ‘you don’t want an ambulance to have to come because you’ve called and you have to explain you didn’t think you needed it. Better some extra things to lean on if you need them than that’.

My MIL has just got a commode after coming out of hospital for an op - they sent her home with a commode and a walking trolley with wheels. She lives in a bungalow and the bathroom is right next door to bedroom so she never considered she’d find it useful but she really really does after just a couple of weeks. So handy and easy for her to use, and she can put the bucket bit on the walking trolley to take through if she’s too wobbly to carry it.

She’s had an emergency bracelet for ages now, always wears it, plus a key safe. Plus just started having carers coming in for a bit during the day to help with food prep.

If she is able she can empty it herself In the morning so she doesn't have to bother anyone or feel like she is bothering.

As @Enrichetta said, she needs a commode. I work for the ambulance service and most are resistant to the idea, but spelling out the reality ie, broken hip, never walk again, months in hospital, never returning home usually changes their minds. Frame it as a temporary measure. And definitely don’t restrict fluids, CKD will get her if a fall doesn’t.

you could consider overnight carer? So a carer comes just for whilst she's sleeping to help her to the toilet when she wakes.

maybe you already know providers in your area, but I've used https://lottie.org/home-care/search/? to compare home care providers in my local area

This. Lots of older people don't keep hydrated and still need to get up in the middle of the night anyway.

Like others have suggested, a commode by the bed is probably the best option.

Is there a falls service in your local area? They send someone out with the right equipment to get them off the floor. If you’re doing it yourself you’re putting both her and you at risk of injury.

A keysafe is a good idea too. That way if they need to call for an ambulance but can’t get to the door, the paramedics can be given the code and still get in.

Sounds like she’s home so probably a bit late but mine went into a residential home for ten days after a hip operation.
Similar to you, she lived alone and I work FT so it wasn’t practical for her to go home immediately.
The home had staff available 24/7 and a wet room with grab rails etc, plus no trip hazards around.
Longer term, buy in as much help as you can.

A walker might be a better idea at night.

I'm having a new hip in the autumn so am buying one of the raised seats. I'm moving into the spare room because it has a small en suite with shower. But would use a commode rather than wet the carpet.

"Homecraft Raised Toilet Seat 4 Inch (10 cm) – Toilet Riser for Elderly, Disabled and Post Surgery Recovery – Lightweight, Hygienic Bathroom Aid – Fits Standard Toilets – 190 kg Capacity, White : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care" https://www.amazon.co.uk/Homecraft-Elongated-Elevated-Handicapped-Disabled/dp/B000EA3PH6/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=2VC8ZI2X1KUT5&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6F6fRkKIK8aIt9Lav_tx1i6yKBhSjnkIez88cPXc68EWzSn_DmneUozC-yqIGNao-CitV4EFh1HdGYrgsWUuIgq_lRnGw1brql_BsElwk23HFCdgfYVkVvTrOpiSNcaqtEXA4QwBaBPgqFfoDKY2L2YrAHmpzaJc9A36ytK5_A3_u8tkC1E9cxI4MfAXuK-jgWoDgCg2pCKTjY7LTI04ng.whGFiocfpZlL9tpwQOLz-t-iz61zYkiZy92YmIP2xdU&dib_tag=se&keywords=raised+toilet+seat&qid=1755039275&sprefix=raised+toilet+seat%2Cwishlist%2C75&sr=8-3

Seriously: your mum needs a commode next to her bed. Otherwise, sooner or later, she will fall.

I would not want what happened to my stubborn mother on her worst enemy. Fell as she got out of bed, the rug which we had told her to get rid off x number of times slipped, and she fell.

Broke her hip and never walked again. 16 months in a nursing home before she passed away.

Something else I did was arrange a handrail to be fitted on the landing, so when my mother goes from bedroom to bathroom there is a handrail to hold on to if she needs it. That might be good for your mum too.

Physio sounds like it would be good for her. Ask for a referral but there are loads of videos on YouTube if she’s tech savvy enough to follow them. She presumably has crutches for the knee recovery but once that’s done would she consider still using a walking stick, at least in the house? That might help give her stability when walking to the bathroom. Waking in the night, sometimes you are a bit wobblier because of tiredness.

Realistically - any efforts to prevent needing to get up are either going to be unsuccessful, or result in dehydration which causes a long list of issues for the elderly. So I’d suggest giving up on all those tactics now before you make things much worse.

Instead, fall prevention. An OT assessment may be helpful, but you can do a lot of basics yourself. Getting rid of all rugs. Clear floors, open space. Zimmer frame next to the bed for giving a solid platform for use to get up. Clear path to and from the toilet. Eufy lumi night lights. Little, battery powered motion and light sensitive. Come on at night when detect movement and give low level lighting so can see the floor better (unless she already puts the light on properly anyway).

If just had a knee replacement then should be getting physio input. Talk to them about fall prevention and also working on getting back up. There are tactics to use and also room set ups that make it easier.

You can go away, frail people live without family support. It might mean a long wait for an ambulance, but with a suitably heated home and a way of calling for help that works. A key safe may be a good addition at this point.

Different situation but we found my elderly MIL was being a little too enthusiastic with the liquid morphine at night which was definitely contributing to her instablility, so do make sure she’s taking pain meds properly and not self-dosing because she’s waking up in pain.

Also do go over and do a through clean and tidy and make sure there’s nothing in the corridors, even things like side tables that have always been there need moving, at least temporarily.

How recently did she have her knee done and how mobile was she before? My mother had a knee replacement, she was mobile on crutches from the day after the operation, but I’d say for the first couple of weeks she struggled and needed direct help (or at least, supervision). After that, she could get around a fair amount on the crutches. I stayed with her in her home for the first two weeks to make sure she didn’t fall going to the toilet etc, then visited a few days on/a few days away for another couple of weeks to help with meals and housework.

Mine lives next door, only sibling 7hrs away. We have a CPR Guardian watch and she’s got Alexa too. She’s got an ensuite so doesn’t move far in the night. We do manage to get away but it takes some organising. Her cleaner and gardener both call weekly on different days and I’ll arrange a home appointment with the chiropodist for a third day of someone popping in. I’ll arrange for friends to drop in on the other days. My DH will prepare meals she just has to reheat and we contact her daily. She’s pretty good at using Messenger for quick check-ins and I can see what she’s up to on her watch. DS will also FaceTime her and my DB will contact her too. It’s a juggling act but it’s doable. We never go any longer than a week though.

Sorry, but short of dehydrating her to an unhealthy level, you are unlikely to prevent her needing a wee in the night. As we get older the need to get up and pee overnight increases.

If she won't get a commode, you can get raised seats for the toilet so that it's much easier to sit and then stand up again. Do you have a shop near you which sells disability aids?

Top tip - if you're buying aids for personal use, you don't have to pay VAT so make sure that you point this out to any salesperson.