BBC today: "I suddenly realised I was running two households"

I think there should be more retirement villages (kind of like the American model) with different levels of care - staring with independent living (but with things like meals available etc), followed by more supported living and finally residential and nursing care available (all on the same site). You'd move in in your 60s and 70s and age in a familiar environment.

They should be nice environments where people wish to work and are paid a decent wage too.

But inevitably the fees would be very expensive. I can't see the state being able to fund this sort of model.

For those who could afford it though, it could be a good solution to many of the challenges of old age, and would reduce pressure on families. Also good for those of us (like myself) who are without family. It's what I hope for in my old age (should I make it that far).

It looks nice from outside but the reality is that old people live longer lives with serious illnesses now (that’s a lot of medical appointments and other stuff to keep on top of), women work more and later in life, mortgages or rent run into retirement and families with one person at home all or most of the time are unusual (because that’s the reality of caring for someone - it requires an adult to be available a lot of the time, particularly if it’s dementia). I grew up in a family like that and everything was arranged around the needs of elderly grandparent. I was determined not to do the same to my own children.

Equally, families living closer together could support each other at different life stages, but I’ve seen umpteen arguments about extended family providing childcare. We only ever used paid childcare and much preferred it that way (other than the cost!).

The carents leave thing is useless. I could take four weeks unpaid parental leave and one weeks unpaid carers’ leave each year at the moment. I can only afford to take one of those weeks - mortgage to pay etc etc. An entitlement to further unpaid leave isn’t going to help. And an additional few £1000 for caring per year isn’t going to pay my mortgage.

@itsbeenalongnight if all able bodied adults work who looks after elderly person even if they are living in the same house?

I think so too. My own Mum ended up looking after three elderly relatives in succession. And the last died when she went wandering at night and caught pneumonia (iirc). She'd had little strokes and her cognition had been affected, but Mum had a job and kids and... Well, a nervous breakdown, in the end.

Someone said earlier something on the lines of, the reality of family care can more often be the old person isolated in a room, pressure sores, infections, dies fairly quickly...
I don't think it's any sort of magic bullet.

Maybe part of the issue is we aren’t set up or encouraged to live together as families and be more supportive. Other cultures address this much better. It can’t all come down to state care.

You beat me to it. I shared it on Cockroach cafe!

It’s good it’s being talked about but I’m
not impressed with the “solutions”
they’ve proposed. More flexibility in appointment times and “carents” leave?!