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Elderly parents
Original poster

There's something sersiously wrong with my mother in her early 70s

35 replies

BlueBrickRoad · 01/06/2025 23:48

I have observed a lot over the past 3-4 years and there's so many things that just seem off with her. It is getting very scary now with paranoia but it's so quite and silent. Let me explain the paranoia.

I live at home with my mother. Any time I am home, if we are in the kitchen as an example, and if I leave the kitchen, maybe to go up the hall and go into my room, or even if I go to the bathroom or sitting room, if my mother is in the kitchen busy or if she's sitting down having tea or a sandwich - next thing I know she is running up the hall to go into her room. This has happened time and time and time and time again. It's nearly as if she is paranoid that I am going into her room. That's what it looks like to me. It happens every single time.

The past few days has been tough at home and I am now seeking respite in a friends house.

There are so many things that are just not right and every day is different.

Do I write to her GP? Send a letter? I am a patient at the same clinic. Do I make an appointment for myself and discuss what I see in her? Or do I write a letter and hand it personally.

I have no business going into her room and with the way I work sometimes I just don't have time. She's paranoid. But it's not just this either. She ignored a leak until I got a plumber and she was paranoid about a plumber too. She was paranoid about a chimney sweep. She is paranoid about the Tesco grocery delivery.

It's not just paranoia, there are other behaviours too but that's for a doctor.

My mind is steering towards dementia as a possibilty.

OP posts:
heavenisaplaceonearth · 02/06/2025 08:37

So when you say paranoia do you mean she has such social anxiety she hides from visitors or is she anxious they’ll steal something?
Have you gone into her bedroom without permission before?

DoNoTakeNo · 02/06/2025 08:31

Hi @BlueBrickRoad
Have you got a health poa or medical proxy (at the GP’s) set up for her?
If so, and on the assumption that she is unwilling to go to a medical appointment on her own, please contact the surgery to raise this with them.
Yes it could be a solvable uti, or obviously the sign of something more significant (my DM has 2 types of dementia & is becoming erratic)
On the reason for this particular paranoia, does she actually have valuables in her room? If so, a safe or similar secure storage could help her concerns.
Best wishes.

CatsWee · 02/06/2025 08:26

You can tell all this to the GP. They can’t tell you anything due to patient confidentiality but they can listen and maybe ask her to come
in for a check up. Do you think she would go?

Do you have an LPA?

Any kind of cognitive decline can lead to paranoia. It’s worth getting her checked if you can. The mental effects of UTIs are generally quicker onset but am sure the GP would check this as part of any assessment.

lostinthesunshine · 02/06/2025 08:25

That must be very difficult for you if you are living with her.

You can make an appointment to speak to the GP yourself or hand in a letter. In my experience they will tell you they can’t discuss it and can’t do anything about it but then they will call her in for a checkup on some pretence.

Does she get out at all? Does she have a social life / see people other than you?

Original poster
BlueBrickRoad · 02/06/2025 08:20

The bahvaioir above has been happening for quiet some time though.

In relation to the more recent behaviour of chasing me up the hall and that to me looks as if it is paranoia, it's been going on for a few months. It's only now I realise this is serious. This is paranoia. How can a UTI be there in the background like that?

The past week she has been off the wall crazy with her behaviour and demeanor and I now think she does have a UTI.

I can't manage a UTI in her. It is that simple. She likely won't use UTI strips and will only just argue with me. She likely isn't aware that her behaviour and anger is likely UTI. I suggested UTI the other day to her but she argued against that.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBrickRoad · 02/06/2025 08:16

Nothankyov · 02/06/2025 01:57

What do you mean she is paranoid about the plumber, and the delivery driver? She runs into her room as well?

It's hard to explain.

I had to get a plumber the year before last. She was angry and defiant about it. I had to lie just to get him in and fix a leak. When he was in the kitchen under the sink she was there looking with pure disgust and filth at him. He came out from under the sink or took a break and she threw him a bucket and requested he cleaned the under sink pipes too.

When I had a chimney sweeper in, she was up the hall, just so odd. Like a scared cat.

She's the same way I have a Tesco booked. She won't ever take in the groceries. She has just become extremely anti social.

She can sometimes behave like this when the postman comes too running up the hall and hiding.

I do suspect this is paranoia. I don't know.

OP posts:
Petitchat · 02/06/2025 05:17

BluePyjamas123 · 02/06/2025 02:58

Im not a Dr, but UTIs in women of that age can cause paranoia and other issues like hallucinations. I would definitely suggest getting her to see a GP for sure.

Thanks for that tip, didn't know that.

BluePyjamas123 · 02/06/2025 02:58

Im not a Dr, but UTIs in women of that age can cause paranoia and other issues like hallucinations. I would definitely suggest getting her to see a GP for sure.

minipie · 02/06/2025 02:17

Have you asked her why she goes running to her room? What does she say?

Nothankyov · 02/06/2025 01:57

What do you mean she is paranoid about the plumber, and the delivery driver? She runs into her room as well?