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Elderly parents
Original poster

Carers for my elderly terminal parent.

29 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 13/05/2025 07:53

Im close to complete breakdown... Doing 15 hour days with a very difficult, oppositional father. My own health is hanging by a thread. Social care locally is on its knees.

I really can't do personal care for him - we have a local person who comes in daily to help him shower /dress.

Dad (via me) pays her monthly by transfer.

A friend has worried me, saying I have 'employed' her... I thought I've been careful to avoid this.. I don't have the headspace to become an employer.

We pay above market rate(but less than agency rate) , and being clear it's a self employed role. (the woman appears to be paying tax etc) she also has her own indemnity insurance.

Could any legal /HR people advise??

OP posts:
MissCharlotteLutterell · 13/05/2025 08:01

RareGoalsVerge · 13/05/2025 07:56

To be self employed, someone has to have the right to choose when to do the work, how to do the work, and have the right to subcontract the work to someone else if they aren't available. very much doubt that this carer meets these requirements. This is why most carers are employed via agencies.

You're being even stricter than HMRC here and not at all helpful.

If the carer has lots of clients (or could do) and can set their own hours and days, plus has control of their business, those are all factors to take into account. It's just not true to imply that no carer can ever be self-employed and you are deliberately upsetting someone in a stressed state.

RareGoalsVerge · 13/05/2025 07:56

To be self employed, someone has to have the right to choose when to do the work, how to do the work, and have the right to subcontract the work to someone else if they aren't available. very much doubt that this carer meets these requirements. This is why most carers are employed via agencies.

librathroughandthrough · 13/05/2025 07:56

Why can’t your dad just transfer her wages directly to her?

librathroughandthrough · 13/05/2025 07:56

Well surely if she is SE she will have her own UTR and be invoicing you?