If your parent died in a nursing home could you answer a few questions for me please?

No, I didn't. Both times were too traumatic.

Sorry to hear about your mum.

At my uncles funeral recently the flowers were made into posies and given away to family members after (don't know who did this; I assume the florist).

It seemed like a good use of the flowers rather than just leaving them to rot/ cremating then.

My mum was in a Home with dementia for a number of years. When she died just before Christmas, about 6 staff came to the memorial event we had which was lovely of them. We gave them a decent financial contribution to their Christmas party (weren’t allowed to give anything individually, and they had all been fab anyway) and donated the flowers from the event to the Home.

My DM died last summer and we didn't have a funeral, just a celebration / memorial in the October. We knew all the staff and residents and many of the visitors by name and wanted to do something to say thank you. We made a list of ideas and talked to the matron about what she thought would be best. We had originally planned to have an afternoon tea but timings didn't work out so we dropped off cakes and treats for everyone, including the staff, and a couple of bird feeders with bird food to put by the windows for the residents.

We sent a heartfelt thank you card and made a fairly substantial donation to the home - an Abbeyfield - where the care had been very good. My DM was there for nearly 8 years, until she died at 97.

i checked with the home beforehand and then sent the main carer for my MIL (last weeks of dementia) a card and bunch of flowers. She provided a lot of comfort for MIL and the family in the last weeks and I will never forget her.

My Aunt died in a care home. The care home sent one member of staff to the funeral. I think this is usual. We felt that we wanted to give the staff a cash gift each but the nursing sister in charge said that gifts of money were not allowed. She said that the way round it was to give money to a staff Christmas fund. We were very pleased to do this as the staff were not paid much. Just have a word with the person in charge.

Staff funds? I have never heard of this. If you can donate it to the residents comfort fund that might be an option? We were not allowed as the care home had to give all monies due to the estate.

I am a senior in a care home. No individual gifts are allowed and money left to staff by family of deceased has never reached carers in the 7 years I have worked here.

Re. flowers you can get 'living' wreaths which are planted with flowers or even succulents which can then be planted out. Mum now has Dad's flowers in her garden.
eg. https://www.britishblooms.co.uk/product-page/eco-friendly-living-wreath

I’m sorry for your loss. When my dad died he’d only been there 6 weeks or so. But 2 staff stood out to me and I bought them a £25 voucher (one of those that you can spend in loads of places) and I bought a voucher for the nurse who to be honest I didn’t like but I didn’t want to rock the boat much either. We didn’t go past the home (in fact my mum refused to ever go down the road again). I hand delivered them when I went to collect his belongings the day after he died. When my uncle died he’d only been in his nursing home 24 hours (different town) but the manager was so amazing both before his admission and in the days afterwards I send her an M&S chocolate and wine gift set. (Interestingly that nursing home sent me a sympathy card and a bouquet of flowers - the one dad died in did nothing).

My DM was in 2 care homes. I took flowers from her funeral to both homes, but just the posies

My FIL was in a care home for the last month of his life and they were lovely.
We got them a big tin of posh biscuits for the staff room and a thank you card. 2 of the carers came to his funeral so we handed them over then .
My FIL didn't want flowers - we had a collection for his favourite charity
Sorry for your loss

Myself and my dad took a thank you card and some good biscuits in for all the staff when my mum died. They were absolutely lovely. Even kept in touch with my dad for a year after she passed as they were worried about him being on his own.

My mum had dementia and was in a care home for 2 years. At Easter and Christmas, I took in cup cakes for the staff. When she died I wrote 6 cards with personal messages to 6 staff . The staff had different responsibilities, 2 were nurses, 2 were nursing assistants, 1 was the clothes washing lady and the other did the social organisation. I felt that they had all gone above and beyond for my mum and in the cards I put a trinket, my mum wasn’t a jewellery person but she had a few costume brooches and scarf pins. They were really emotional about them and the “ laundry “ lady kept saying “ I just washed her clothes”. That wasn’t true. If she was putting clothes away in mums room, she would always talk to her and on a couple of occasions she noticed mum was wincing in pain and immediately went to get help. She was truly lovely to my mum and definitely went over and above her job title. She had never received a card or thanks like that before and was so emotional.
I thought 6 musical dvds for the home that my mum loved like, sound of music and guys and dolls etc . That was the beginning of a weekly film show . As music seems to survive Alzheimer’s the residents loved them and some relatives added to the collection. As for the funeral, the cortège went from my home ( as mums had had to be sold to pay the care home fees) and we only had flowers from immediate family, a collection for the Alzheimer’s association was contributed to by anyone else who wanted to.

Yes, sadly they hadn’t looked after him well. I resented paying the fees let alone giving them a present.

None of them were particularly nice or standoutish. All I gave them was some chocolate and a card because while the care was not problematic it wasn’t exceptional either.

Worked I'm care homes for years, nicest thing is a letter or card for that individual thanking them for what they did. Please do also send a letter/email to the manager with the same compliments so they can share with head office (assuming not independent) and also use as evidence to cqc in their case studies.
Most appreciated "all staff" gift was cases of fizzy drinks, most staff run off energy drinks and coke and are inundated with boxes of chocolates and biscuits almost every week anyway. We also had one family who bought boxes of Krispy Kremes periodically, everyone looked forward to their visit.

Took a plant in the day after my dad died when I went to clear his room. He’d not been there long though. Mother in law died in hers in covid times , don’t think husband did anything but he’d never been in as not allowed so didn’t know any of the staff.

When FIL died we weren't allowed to give gifts to individual carers. The most they'd allow was day/night staff.

They did allow cards for individual carers though. We also sent a letter to head office thanking/praising the individual staff as well.

We also went in at Christmas (he died in September) and made a donation to their staff night out.

When my Dad died we took in a large hamper with sweets, chocolates, biscuits etc along with some Asian sweets and dates and so on so we had foods from all cultures.

We also made some lemon drizzle cakes for the hamper.

The manager shared the contents out.

Took about 12 of the staff out to lunch and bought chocolates and biscuits. My Father had been in the home for a few years as had very complex needs. He had taken a lovely wardrobe he had handmade by a Carpenter in to the home. I offered it to his favourite carer who was delighted. He really loved her and she was glad to have a very nice piece of furniture and something to remember him by.

I worked in a care home. When one very long term resident died they did a collection at the wake and divvied it up amongst the staff. Otherwise there were the odd thank you cards and tubs of chocolate that were shared amongst the staff.

I don’t think carers were allowed to accept individual gifts. At Christmas for example they would accept and said thank you but then all gifts were put into a lucky dip so everyone got something.

Never saw funeral flowers. I don’t think they’d be very keen although I appreciate you’d like them to go somewhere.

Sorry for your loss, OP
We donated the balance in DM’s extras float for the staff Xmas party.
we said the only proviso was that DM would want to buy the first drink and get the party started…