House smells like wee

When does the incontinence happen? Is she leaving it too late to get to the toilet? Or does she not notice it happening - maybe little leaks but often?

I’m asking because I guess different solutions might work depending on when / why it’s happening.

My mil did struggle with incontinence, but she had Parkinson’s and serious mobility problems. She couldn’t get to the toilet, she couldn’t wipe properly, she really struggled with her clothes. It didn’t really get resolved because she went into a nursing home and then was in incontinence pants.

sounds very hard OP.

It’s very likely her mattress will smell too to check that out and replace with a new mattress if it’s stained and smelly and use washable mattress covers going forward
and wash her bedding on a really hot wash with laundry sanitizer which can also be used on her underwear and pads

Like ppl say the urine will have soaked in to furnishing so deep clean all carpets, sofa, chairs and floors, get a new mattress and pillows and waterproof protectors, new slippers, wash all clothes she wears, wipe down all surfaces, marks do a lovely jasmine floor wipe, open the windows, buy scented waste bin bags. The pink neutrodol blocks are quite strong but effective in the lounge, toilet and bathroom.

are you going to keep your cleaner going in?

Having someone regularly clean, windows open etc plus using waterproof mattress cover (changed regularly) and tena pads/knickers will help.
But the pp who said about her right to live as she wishes I don’t think was being unkind, but realistic. My MIL sounds similar to your DM - has never been, as you put it ‘fastidious’. DH and I have spent many years trying to help the situation but there does come a point when you can’t make someone live as you think they should - unless it’s a serious safety hazard.
It sounds as if your mum might be willing to make small changes and accept help so you’re not at that stage yet but longer term bear in mind you can’t always ‘fix’ everything and that’s not your fault

edited for typos

but her life might be a never ending smell of wee so this is a good distraction in the meantime

Fresh flowers or air fresheners aren’t going to get rid of the smell of wee though? The air fresheners will just add to the stink.

can she shower easily?

also many women have continence issues, as noticed by the amount of continents products on t he shelves in the supermarket.
i would go with fresh flowers/air freshener

Agree with people up thread- urine needs an enzyme cleaner to break it down. Often ones marketed for animal urine are easier to get. Depending on area, it’s via the GP, or some areas you can self refer to the continence team, healthy bowel and bladder etc. for them to assess what could help. There are some great mattress protectors, which don’t rustle on the bed. Some people put protectors (like an kylie) onto the seat cushion of chairs- you can cover this with a small throw to protect the actual chair? And to be discreet not to show visitors there are protectors down.
If you have lots of continence waste most areas have a separate bag collection through the council- pads take up lots of bin space. If you are buying pads- check the prices on Amazon etc as they are far cheaper than specialist shops. When tracking down smells, make sure your mum is managing personal care ok, and wash things like slippers frequently. Hopefully your mum will feel a lot better when she is fresh and clean and managing this better, incontinence is such a common problem, but isn’t something people talk about, and can feel very isolating.

I do agree with this. As distressing as it is for you if she has capacity you can tell her the house stinks and suggest she sees the GP and ask to be referred to the incontinence team, you could even email her GP with your concerns but you can’t change her choices or how she reacts to situations.

Its good of you to help to clean up but it does seem like a never ending task if she’s genuinely not bothered.

Did you say that you’d had therapy in the past?

ok some people have mobility problems

fresh daffodils? they mask the smell

She’s 71, competent and capable. Not elderly by any stretch.

how is her mobility
a problem with some elderly is they cannot make it in time to the loo.

If she had capacity then she had the right to live in a smelly house, I’m afraid. You sound upset about the house but I don’t see anything in your posts that makes me think your mum is distressed by it? Does she mind or care?

Agree it might be her clothes too. We had this recently with a DA and it turned out the the carers were helpfully doing her washing but only putting the wee ridden bedding and clothes on a 15 minute cycle and then having the stuff on the airer. The whole house honked.

It's possibly her clothes if she's not changing daily. She can't smell it, so you will need to be blunt and tell her like it is. GP is the starting point, or nurse practitioner who will be clued up.