Please be gentle with me on this.
I am an only DC work full time, DPs who live an hour away have been managing up until now. DF91 actually seems pretty well although frail,but DM 86 is deteriorating rapidly. She has osteoporosis, macular degeneration and chrohns disease. I managed to get her full attendance allowance last year, hoping they might get a cleaner but instead DF bought a wide screened TV 
and as a huge concession DM put the washing in the tumble dryer instead of trying to hang it up, and gets the occasional taxi if DF isn’t able to pick her up( yes he’s still driving but that is a whole other thread).
She isn’t coping well and on Thursday fell over on her way into the shower and hurt her hip. It isn’t broken so they discharged her from hospital, but she is in a lot of pain and unable to leave her bed.I am going up tomorrow, she says she needs a commode and couldn’t understand why the GP wouldn’t just give her one, so I will order what she needs from Amazon and try to convince them that she needs a social care assessment. We are in Scotland so if she qualifies for care it will be free, or in the short term they have money to pay for private care.
Except I expect she will resist and I have a horrible feeling when I am up I may be required to support with toileting and bathing. It sounds ridiculous I suppose and selfish, but we aren’t touchy feely people and the thought of having to do that just makes me feel nauseous. I am a very practical person and I can do all the organisation of getting cleaners and carers in if I get the green light. I am also beginning to suspect I may be ND but that could just be menopause.
I know I may just have to get over myself for this one time, but I wonder am I the only one who feels like this ?