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Elderly parents

Need a virtual hug.

27 replies

Tolkienista · 07/04/2025 20:02

I'm honestly not on here for advice, I just want to hear what others are going through because I'm feeling more overwhelmed as each week passes by.
My 95 year old mother is a year into moving into a care home.
She still needs support and help in adjusting to her new way of life.
Luckily she lived independently until 94 years of age and one fall changed her life completely.

I'm one of three, my mother's next of kin .
I don't resent the amount of time I give her, but my siblings leave a lot of it to me, including attending appointments, dealing with visitors, financial affairs etc.

Please share how you feel at the moment.
This post is prompted by a chat I had with my next door neighbour this afternoon.
I offloaded a lot of stuff with her and she told me about three of her friends who are going through very similar experiences with their elderly parents.
Exhausted and overwhelmed at times.
That's how I feel.
Thanks for reading my post, please share your thoughts

OP posts:
Rictasmorticia · 07/04/2025 21:20

Please have a look at Cockroach cafe on here. It is full of people dealing with elderly relatives. Their humour and resilience are heart warming.

FiniteSagacity · 07/04/2025 21:07

@Tolkienista solidarity and virtual hug 💐

I too am the closest and have always done all the things around the edges. I’m only now appreciating how much it has affected me - all those micro decisions.

I also made the hard decision to put DF in a home, after a rapid decline and none of us could meet his needs.

It is still shit. Even though my siblings stepped up during the decline and have been amazing emotional support, the reality is DF prefers everyone else to me and being closest means I feel obligated to visit. Even when I don’t, I find I’m thinking about it. So even now DF is safe I’m still doing admin and feeling overwhelmed.