I have an aunt who was the middle child. She never married and had no children. She has 2 living relatives her nephew, son of deceased older sister and myself. I am the daughter of her younger brother also deceased.
There is 19 years between me and my cousin. I do not have any relationship with him. My Dad didn’t invite him to my wedding and I think he was salty about that. But my Dad could never stand him.
cousin is her next of kin and has POA, Unbelievably aunt has lived 10 years in care homes. Bedridden. She is approaching 96.
She has been at current care home since the week of lockdown. She had the tv on all day with the curtains closed all the time because sun glare on the screen. She never sees daylight and doesn’t want to . I ask her , does she want the curtains open , she tells me no,
So yesterday I go to see her and take flowers. This meant I had to ask for a vase . And I met the guy in charge of. First time I have spoken to him. He didn’t know I exist!. He got her care plan that has a potted history of her life: family. No mention of me. He wrote me in as a ps aunt has a niece her phone number is ….
This means the previous care home didn’t pass on full notes. As I had to tell them my contact details too. Strong feeling my cousin won’t contact me when aunt dies.
I spoke to my aunt. I told her care home didn’t know who I was. If anything happened to her how would I have known? She shrugged. Aunt do you think cousin would have told me? Again shrugged. What do you think of that? Her answer laughing I couldn’t give a shit. Me because you would be dead? Her: that’s right don’t bother me, (still chuckling) Me; fair play Auntie
Why do I bother? I have a lot of health issues of my own. I’m epileptic, can’t drive the care home is impossible for me to reach with a lift from my husband. We have a disabled daughter and my own mother is 86 and frail.
After seeing aunt we called in my mother who needed a few jobs doing and the we drove home. It was a full day.